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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Emotional Blackmail Was Worth A Shot

| Townsend, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I own a kennel which provides both boarding & grooming services. I answer the phone:)

Me: “Good morning, [Kennel]. May I help you?”

Caller: “I need to board my dog. We’re here on vacation.”

Me: “Very good. What dates would you like to board your dog?”

Caller: “We need to bring her in today. We wanna go to Dollywood!”

Me: “We do have space for her, but we require proof of vaccinations: rabies, the distemper shot, which includes several other vaccines in it, and also bordetella, which is kennel cough.”

Caller: “WHAT?! We don’t have that with us! You HAVE to take our dog!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re required by law that every dog has to have current vaccinations. It protects not only your dog, but all the other dogs here as well. You could have your vet call us and confirm that your dog is protected. If you don’t have a vet, I can give you the number of several veterinary practices near you, and they can administer the needed shots today.”

Caller: “NO! You WILL take our dog! You don’t want to make my children cry!”

(I can then hear the woman talking to her family:)

Caller: “This mean woman just told me that she won’t let you go to Dollywood! She’s going to ruin our vacation!”

(I can then hear wailing (as if on cue) from several children.)

Caller: “Now look what you’ve done! You made my children cry! I hope that makes you happy! Now are you going to take our dog or are you going to ruin our vacation?!”

Me: I’m sorry, but without proof of vaccinations, I can’t take your dog.”

Caller: “Well f*** you! You ruined our vacation!” *hangs up*

Me: Well, all righty then!

Not The Best Pupil For Eye Care

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

Caller: “I need to make an appointment for my cat. Something is really wrong with his eyes!”

Me: “Could you explain to me what you’re seeing?”

Caller: “They keep changing sizes!”

Me: “Do you mean you see the eyelid coming over the eye, or…?”

Caller: “No! His eyes keep changing sizes! Sometimes the eye gets really big, and sometimes it gets really small.”

Me: “Wait, are you talking about the black part of the eye? Does the eye get skinny when it’s bright in the house or if your cat is in sunlight?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “And does the eye get wide when it’s dark out?”

Caller: “Yes! That’s exactly it! I need to know how to fix it!”

Me: “The black part of the eye is called a pupil. It changes size based on how much light is coming into the eye. When it’s bright out, the pupil gets smaller, when it’s dark out, the pupil gets larger. If there’s sunlight in one eye and darkness in the other, one pupil will be small and one will be big.”

Caller: “So I can’t fix it?”

Me: “No, you can’t. There’s nothing wrong with the eye. In fact, your eyes do the same thing.”

Caller: “So… it can’t be fixed?”

No Follicular Coupon Is A Folly

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(A man comes up to the pharmacy registers to purchase a bottle of hair growth product. These items come with coupons attached to the box so customers receive instant savings.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase this, and I have a coupon for it.”

Me: “Excellent. I’ll ring this up for you.”

Customer: “I also have two coupons from previous boxes that I forgot to use before but I don’t have them with me. You can just take the ten dollars off my purchase now, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I can only use one coupon per purchase of this item as it says here at the bottom of the coupon.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get to use them before so I would like to use them now.”

Me: “So you would like me to give you a discount for coupons that you do not currently have with you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not the way it works.”

Customer: “Well what do you expect me to do with the coupons, then?”

Me: “Give them to your friends or relatives?”

Customer: “They won’t use them. They have hair!”