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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

Going Too H2-Slow

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work at a gym that’s rather expensive, so all of the clients are rather well off. I’m a lifeguard year round, since they have both an indoor and an outdoor pool.)

Woman: “Hi. The indoor pool is too cold. My child is absolutely freezing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can provide your child with warm towels directly from the dryer if he needs to be warmed up quickly.”

Woman: “No, I just need you to heat up the pool. ”

Me: “The pool is heated, ma’am, but unfortunately, we can’t directly control the temperature of the pool.”

Woman: *getting angry* “What do you mean you can’t control it?! Just pour a bunch of hot water in it!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are almost half a million gallons of water in this pool. We couldn’t possibly get enough water to meet your demands.”

Woman: “Well, you’re not doing your job, then. I’ll be speaking to your manager!” *storms off in a fit of pretentious rage*

Smooth Out The Allergy Situation

| KS, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Hiya! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to exchange this peanut butter.”

(She hands me the peanut butter and the receipt.)

Me: “Oh, okay. Any reason? Is it bad?”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s not bad. It’s just that it’s the chunky kind, and I need creamy.”

Me: “Oh! Well, if you want to go grab the one you want, I’ll get you fixed up and on your way!”

(She goes and gets the creamy peanut butter and comes back. I check the prices and hand her the right one.)

Me: “All righty, you’re all set! Have a good day!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *laughs* “I can’t believe I picked this up. I can’t have the one with the chunks in it. I’m allergic to peanuts!”

(She walked off and my manager and I exchanged very confused glances.)