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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

An Epidemic Of Stupidity

, | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

(I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

Customer: “That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”

Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

Going Too H2-Slow

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work at a gym that’s rather expensive, so all of the clients are rather well off. I’m a lifeguard year round, since they have both an indoor and an outdoor pool.)

Woman: “Hi. The indoor pool is too cold. My child is absolutely freezing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can provide your child with warm towels directly from the dryer if he needs to be warmed up quickly.”

Woman: “No, I just need you to heat up the pool. ”

Me: “The pool is heated, ma’am, but unfortunately, we can’t directly control the temperature of the pool.”

Woman: *getting angry* “What do you mean you can’t control it?! Just pour a bunch of hot water in it!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are almost half a million gallons of water in this pool. We couldn’t possibly get enough water to meet your demands.”

Woman: “Well, you’re not doing your job, then. I’ll be speaking to your manager!” *storms off in a fit of pretentious rage*