Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Enough To Make You Cry

| QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a hotel restaurant. A group of clients have been notoriously difficult, sending back dishes more than once for small details. On a particularly busy night, a waiter walks back into the kitchen and asks about a meal.)

Waiter: “Does this dish contain onions? The client says he’s deadly allergic.”

(Hearing this, the chef panics and asks the waiter to bring him to the client.)

Chef: “Sir, are you all right? Do you have any medicine for your allergy? I’ll call the ambulance right away!”

(The client is confused and worried.)

Client: “What? No, I don’t have medicine. Why?”

Chef: “You told the waiter you were deadly allergic to onions. You should have mentioned it earlier. There were some in the soup.”

Client: “…oh. I just don’t like onions.”

Needs To Screen Her Comments

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

(While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

Woman #1: “Yeah?”

Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

Woman #2: “Oh!”

Not Quite Ringing True

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

Friend: “Three days ago.”

Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

(Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

Countering Those At The Counter

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

(The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

Customer: “You too.”

(The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”


(She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

Doctor’s Disorders

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(It is around three in the morning when I take a phone call.)

Me: “Front desk.”

Guest: “Help! My husband is feeling very sick. He needs a doctor!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any doctors in the hotel. Shall I call him an ambulance?”

Guest: *suspiciously* “And just where is this ‘ambulance’ going to take him?”

Me: “Um, to the hospital…”

Guest: “…”

Me: “…where there are doctors?”

Guest: “Oh. Okay, then.”

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