Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


Insert Inert

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular

(I am at a shoe shop that sells special inserts. I’m the only customer in the shop, and the only [visible] employee on duty is being very helpful.)

Me: “Thanks, so will these inserts do?”

Employee: “Yeah. Now, when you insert them in your shoes, remember to place it this way.” *he picks up a shoe and demonstrates* “With the arch placed where your foot’s arch will be. If you don’t put them in right, it could mess with your hips when you walk.”

Me: “Right… that’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?”

Employee: “Oh, you’d be surprised at the people I’ve seen. One lady came back to the shop complaining about pain in her legs, and it turned out she’d put in her inserts completely backward. I was kind of impressed with how she managed to squeeze the inserts inside those shoes without noticing they didn’t fit that way. So, now I make sure customers know how to put them in correctly. I’m not taking any chances with my job ever again.”


Hot-Blooded Versus Low-Blooded

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am a pharmacy student currently working as a technician at a local pharmacy. A patient who is on a blood-pressure lowering medication is now starting a new lowered dose.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Patient]. I just wanted to make sure that you’re aware the doctor is changing the dose for your medication?”

Patient: “Yup, I was getting lightheaded and passing out from the medication.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully this new dose works out better for you!”

Patient: “Yeah, so I was on top of my wife and then suddenly I blacked out and I fell on top of her, and it just really killed the mood, y’know? After that, the moment was just over…”


Might Need Some Hearing Aid Too

| Yorkton, SK, Canada | Health & Body, Popular

(This takes place in my house, which is not a business of any kind. I get a phone call about mid-afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [Optometrist]?”

Me: “No, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “It’s not [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, it’s my house. No doctors work here.”

Caller: “But I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Caller: “But I get my glasses with [Doctor]!”

Me: “But this isn’t a doctor’s office; it’s my house.”

Caller: “Can I make an appointment?”

Me: “No, it’s not an office. It’s my house. I’m not an optometrist.”

Caller: “Where are you?”

Me: “Yorkton?”

Caller: “But [Doctor] isn’t in Yorkton!”

Me: “Right, you called the wrong number.”

Caller: “But I called [Doctor]!”

Me: But this is my house. No optometrists work here. You called the wrong number.”

Caller: “I need new glasses!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Maybe double check the number?”

Caller: “You’re sure this isn’t [Doctor]?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “Well sorry for bothering you. I was sure I called [Doctor].”

Me: “No biggie.”


Inject Some Common Sense Next Time

| Rocklin, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular, Time

(In the large multi-specialty clinic where I work, our endocrinologist sometimes orders a complex test that involves getting blood drawn at our lab downstairs, getting an injection in our clinic immediately afterwards, and then getting blood drawn again right after to see how the body reacted to the injection. The timing has to be very precise and this is all explained to the patient beforehand. My coworker sees that a patient has checked in for her injection up at the front desk, so she prepares the injection and goes to call the patient back — but the patient is nowhere to be found.)

Coworker: *to the receptionist* “Did you see where [Patient] went?”

Receptionist: “No, she just… disappeared.”

(My coworker returns to the back office and waits to see if the patient shows up. After 20 minutes with no sign of her, she calls the patient. I can’t hear their conversation, but as my coworker is speaking, she facepalms dramatically and rolls her eyes at me. When she hangs up…)

Coworker: “So, I asked her where she went, and she said, ‘Oh, I had some things to do, and I’d been waiting a while, so I went home.'”

Me: “But she’d only been waiting like 10 minutes! And she already got the first blood draw done!”

Coworker: “I know! And now this injection is wasted. I told her her insurance would probably make her pay for it, and she just laughed it off and said she didn’t think so. Bet she won’t be laughing when she sees her bill.”


Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 3

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular, Transportation

(The clinic where I work performs DMV physicals to certify that truck drivers are physically fit for their job. All the doctors do them, but if a patient drives out of state, they must be certified by the one doctor who performs out-of-state physicals. A driver comes in on a day when the out-of-state doctor is not working.)

Receptionist: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Driver: “I need a physical.” *throws DMV paperwork on counter*

Receptionist: “Sure. Have we seen you here before?”

Driver: “No.”

Receptionist: “Then I’ll just need you to fill out our registration form here, please…”

Driver: “What? For a physical? I’m not doing that.”

Receptionist: “Sorry, but every patient has to.”

Driver: “Ugh! I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” *takes clipboard and stomps over to a seat*

(As the receptionist is setting up the driver’s appointment, she asks:)

Receptionist: “[Name], do you drive out of state at all?” *we always call our patients by their first name*

Driver: “My NAME is Ms. [Last Name]!”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry. Ms. [Last Name], do you drive out of state at all?”

Driver: “No! Only in California.”

Receptionist: “Okay, thanks.” *she finishes registering the driver, and asks again* “Now you’re SURE you don’t drive out of state, right?”

Driver: “No! Like I said!”

(Soon the back office MA calls her up. She grumps through the entire physical, complains about the receptionist’s “rudeness”, and leaves in a snit. A few days later, we get a call…)

Driver: “The DMV rejected my physical! I went all the way down there and they rejected it because I drive outside California sometimes! This is your fault!”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, that’s why the receptionist asked you REPEATEDLY if you drive out of state.”

Driver: “Well… I thought she was just being a nosy b****!”

(The driver had to wait a week and come back to our clinic when the out-of-state certifying doctor was working. She seemed slightly embarrassed on her return visit!)


Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2

Out Of State, Out Of Mind

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