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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Physically Hilarious

| PA, USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

(I work at a science museum, running interactive exhibits that demonstrate scientific principles, although mostly it’s just fun and games. I’m currently running an exhibit that consists of a unicycle on a track 20 feet in the air; it’s held steady by a 300-pound weight underneath it, and rides simply like a bike with an elaborate seat belt. The bike does wobble, and we’re told to warn people of that.)

Me: “Once you put your feet on those peddles, you will feel the bike sway. That’s alright; it’s supposed to happen. With the weight underneath you, there’s no possible way you’ll fall.”

Guests: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure. If you fall, I’m going to be way more concerned about the laws of physics breaking.”

(Surprisingly, not many guests think I’m funny.)

Not Sue-ted To Parenting

| Pasco, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m in my check-stand when I see a customer’s child is standing on the cart’s seat.)

Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t have your child standing on the seat.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because he could fall and injure himself.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I can just sue you guys if he falls.”

(The customer then proceeded to shop with the child standing on the seat. Luckily the child didn’t fall.)

Making Visit Number Two

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(My job involves emptying the sanitary bins in women’s toilets, as well as replacing other hygiene-related matters. I’ve seen some random things left in bins, such as belts, cups, uneaten sandwiches etc. I arrive back at my yard when my boss comes up to me.)

Boss: “You’re going to have to go back to [Business] as they’ve just called saying one of their bins is full and smelling.”

Me: “It can’t be. I was there this morning.”

Boss: “I can only go by what they’ve said. Just unload the waste on your van and head over there, please.”

(I arrive on site, open up the bin, and immediately evacuate and call my boss.)

Me: “You’re not going to believe this, but someone’s actually pooped into the bin.”

Boss: “You’re joking?!”

Me: “Nope, just removed the lid and used it as a toilet.”