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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”

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Can’t Handle A Car But Can Handle A Conversation

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I am an apparently able-bodied person who suffers from an invisible disability which renders me medically unable to operate a motor vehicle. The following conversation takes place today at my job.)

Customer: “How does this car handle?”

Me: “Couldn’t say, sir. I don’t drive.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t drive?”

Me: “Just that, sir. I’ve never driven an automobile. Consequently, I’m unable to tell you how that car handles. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** are you working here for? You sure picked a stupid place to get a job!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but disabled people have to earn a living, too. Will there be anything else?”

Customer: *embarrassed, blushing and refusing to make eye contact* “Uh, um, ahhhh. I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Me: *flat rattlesnake eyes and coldly monotone voice* “No, sir. You didn’t. Good day.”

(The word ‘slink’ is so seldom used these days and even more seldom seen in action…)

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Sadly She’s Not Kidding Around

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m 22, but I look much younger and am commonly guessed to be about 12 or so. I’m working with an older coworker when a lady comes in and notices me. A lady customer looks between my coworker and I as he rings her up, smiling. She notices my name tag.)

Lady: “Well, hello there, Mr. [My Name]; don’t you look awfully dapper today!”

Me: *I smile politely, ignoring the obvious tone of ‘I am talking with a child’ in her voice* “Thank you, ma’am.”

Lady: “Did you pick out your outfit all by yourself today?”

Me: “…Yes, ma’am, I did.”

Lady: *turns attention back to my coworker and gestures between the two of us* “So, is he your nephew, then, or?”

Coworker: “No… he’s my coworker.”

(Her face dropped and she realized her mistake. I awkwardly shuffled away. Afterwards my coworker commented that he understood why I hated when people mistook me to be so much younger. She thought it was bring your kid to work day…)