Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


Already Failed The Test

| Nottingham, England, UK | Health & Body, Popular, Spouses & Partners

(Whilst waiting to be seen at the eye clinic, the optometrist comes over to a couple in front of us.)

Optometrist: “We need a new retinal scan of your husband’s eyes, Mrs. [Name]. Could you please take this form to room 19 and see the technician who will do the test there.”

(Mrs. [Name] gets up and gathers her things together and starts out of the door.)

Optometrist: “Mrs. [Name]! You need to take your husband with you.”

Mrs. [Name]: “Why? Will he need to be there when they do the test?”


Bad Customers Strike More Than Once

| WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I’ve been working at the same pool as a lifeguard for four years. I am guarding our outdoor pool on a day with weird weather: sunny, 90 degrees, but then thunder crashes in the distance.)

Me: “All right, everybody please clear the pool! There’s thunder in the area!”

Woman: “Are you sure that was thunder?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! We need to clear the pool because it’s unsafe to—”

Woman: “Yeah, yeah, how long is it going to be closed?”

Me: “30 minutes from the next time thunder sounds.”

Woman: “Fine.” *walks back to her chair*

(We open the pool in thirty minutes with no problem. Ten minutes later, thunder claps again.)

Me: “All right, everybody, please clear the pool! There’s thunder in the area!”

Woman: “How long will it be closed this time!?”

Me: “Another thirty minutes, ma’am!”

Woman: *muttering about my incapability as she walks away*

(Thirty minutes later, I open the pool, but hear thunder. But maybe this time it’s a plane? I’m not quite sure.)

Boss: *over my walkie-talkie* “Lightning strikes! Shut ‘er down.”

Me: “All right, everybody please clear the pool! There’s lightning in the area!”

Woman: “This is unbelievable! How can you not tell the difference between thunder and a plane!? You are completely r*****d! That’s obviously the Blue Angels!”

Me: “Ma’am, I know it’s frustrating, but I have to shut down the pool or run the risk of—”

Woman: “Shut up! I’ll be having a word with your manager about your laziness! Don’t want to guard your pool, is that it?!”

Me: “Ma’am, my manager is the one who told me to close the pool in the first place!”

Woman: “Liar! You just don’t want to have to be responsible for my son if something happens to him!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you have any complaint please take them inside to my manager—”

Woman: “How dare you speak to me this way, b****! I’ll get you fired! It’s the God d*** Blue Angels!”

(As she’s speaking clouds block the sun overhead and it immediately starts raining. We’re both soaked in a couple seconds. Lightning flashes, followed by thunder.)

Me: *turning away from the shocked woman* “Ladies and gentlemen, it is now unsafe to remain on the pool deck! Please exit in an orderly fashion and resume swimming indoors!”

(The woman filed a complaint. I got a small raise.)


Making A New Disappointment

| Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(This patient has missed two appointments back to back before this one. An hour before her appointment she gets her mother to call in sick for her. She’s in her mid 20s. We have a 24-hour cancellation policy that I waved for the first two missed appointments.)

Reception: “Due to policy, we will have to charge your daughter for this missed appointment.”


Reception: “I’m sorry but it is policy. You daughter missed two appointments in a row before this appointment. I’m sorry but there will be a charge.”

Customer’s Mom: “FINE! She’ll just never come back in then.”

(The mother is a regular of mine. And, just because you don’t come in doesn’t mean you can get out of paying.)


That Was A Close Shave

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I was working at a large chain retail store that has a variety of electronic gadgets. This customer is asking about some of our electric shavers. I’m female and helping a male customer.)

Me: *showing a particular model of shaver* “This model is safe to use in the shower and is one of our more popular sellers.”

Male Customer: “Does it give a good, close shave for your face?”

Me: *jokingly* “Well, it shaves my beard pretty well.” *chuckle*

Male Customer: *reaches out and caresses my cheek* “Mmmmm, yes, you do have soft skin.”

Me: *hands him the shaver* “Okay, you have a good day, then.”

(I walked away and he left the store right after that.)


Appointment Disappointment, Part 2

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Health & Body, Time

(I overhear a coworker at reception.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but your appointment seems to be for next week and we are booked fully today. I can see about getting your appointment moved up to tomorrow if that is okay.”

Patient: “No, you aren’t sorry! It’s a long walk to this desk! I know you will be laughing about me later! You will be old, too, some day!”

Appointment Disappointment

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