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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Some Blood Is Thicker Than Others

| MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am a nurse. At the hospital where I work, we take care of many patients who are from small, rural towns and are lacking in education. In this situation, the patient needs a blood transfusion. I am teaching the patient and family about the process.)

Me: “I will call the blood bank and get the blood ready to go. When I have the bag, I’ll come hook it up to her IV to infuse it. I’ll be monitoring her vital signs throughout the transfusion.”

Family Member: “How does the blood know where to go?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

Family Member: “The blood. What tells it where to go?”

Me: “Well it goes into the veins, through her IV catheter.”

Family Member: “How does it know where to go from there?”

Me: “That’s where blood is. In your veins.”

Family Member: “Oh! I’ve always wondered how that worked.”

(Later, after I have received the blood, I am priming the IV tubing with saline. Saline is essentially salt water, so it is clear.)

Family Member: “Is that the blood?”

Me: “…No, this is just saline to prime the tubing.”

Family Member: “Oh, good! I thought my mom was getting some new kind of white blood!”

Me: *face palm*

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4

| NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I clean houses for a living. This particular client was a little old lady wanting a once off spring clean.)

Lady: “Would you like a tea or coffee?”

Me: “No thank you, but I will take a glass of water if you are offering.”

Lady: “Sure! I will be right back.”

(She comes back with a glass of water and a slice of cake.)

Lady: “Would you like some cake? It’s really nice!”

Me: *eyeing it off* “Does it have gluten in it?”

Lady: “Oh, no! I don’t put any in my cakes. Try it; it’s really quite nice.”

Me: *not entirely convinced* “Did you put flour in it?”

Lady: “Of course I did… It’s a cake.”

Me: *sighing* “Flour has wheat in it; therefore it has gluten in it. I’m gluten intolerant, sorry.”

Lady: “Are you sure?! It’s really very nice.”

Me: “I’m sure it’s quite lovely but it’s not worth the pain.”

Lady: “Are you sure?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, I’m sure.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

Not Just The Tire Causing Skid Marks

| Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Health & Body

(An elderly man comes into our shop for a tire repair. I start the work order and provide his keys to a tire tech. I let him know that he should give us about 20-25 minutes before his car will be ready.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. I have to go use your washroom and I’ll be in there for quite a while”