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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Enough To Furrow Your Brows

| USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I’m a transporter pushing patients to surgery. I pick up a 17-year-old boy with his family. They’re all nervous, but the boy deals with his anxiety by being rude to his parents. He starts in on the vertical creases between his dad’s eyebrows.)

Boy: “Ha! That looks like a [crude term for female genitalia]. You’ve got a [kitty cat] on your forehead!”

(He goes on like this for several minutes as his profanity gets worse and worse.)

Mom: *finally* “Stop it! You’re embarrassing me and the transporter!”

Boy: *belligerent* “Why? She’s got one!”

(I’ve finally had enough. I lean down and tell him, loud enough for his parents to hear:)

Me: “You keep using language like that and that’s as close to a real one as you’ll ever get.”

(There was stunned silence from the entire family. Then the parents started cracking up.)

Blisteringly Stupid Question

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

Driver: *after the fill-up* “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Driver: “It’s about my husband. We were on the beach today and he got sunburned.”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

Driver: “What should I do to make him feel better?”

Me: “Well, aloe lotions are good. If it’s really painful, though, use lidocaine.”

Driver: “But he’s got blisters.”

Me: “Get him to the hospital! He’s got second-degree burns!”

Driver: “Oh, I couldn’t do that. He hates hospitals.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Canadian Hair-itage

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Canada, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am getting my eyebrows threaded; while in the chair, I hear this exchange between an employee and another customer.)

Customer: “How much to thread [facial area I didn’t see]?”

Employee: “Ten dollars.”

Customer: “But I don’t have that much hair there, can I get a discount?”

Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s a flat rate; it’s ten dollars no matter how much hair you have.”

Customer: “But I’m Canadian.”

Employee: “…”