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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

The Highs And Lows Of Retail

| Natick, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

(The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

(He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

A Dent In His Identification

| Port Angeles, WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(My dad and I have just gotten off a ferry from Victoria, Canada, and are going through customs. We are on our way to Mexico for an extended surfing trip. My dad had recently shaved off his dreadlocks in preparation, since they take so long to dry and would be an inconvenience. He is now completely bald and beardless.)

Border Agent: “Can I have your passport, please?”

(He hands it over, and the agent is looking between the picture of his shoulder-length dreads and large beard, and his current appearance.)

Border Agent: “Do you have a secondary piece of ID?”

(He hands over his driver’s license. The picture is pre-dreads, but still has shoulder-length hair and a large beard.)

Border Agent: “Well, THIS doesn’t help much!”

(The agent could tell enough distinguishing features that we were let through without incident. I joked that it’s too bad you’re not allowed to smile in ID pictures, because his gold teeth would have been a good distinguishing feature!)

You Will Have Hell Toupee

| Norway | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I have very curly hair, it’s all ringlets and corkscrews. A middle-aged lady has come to pick up her son from school.)

Lady: “Wow, you have really beautiful hair!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Lady: “Can I borrow it?”

Me: “Er… pardon?”

(The lady leans forward, grabs a fistful of my locks, and tugs so hard my eyes begin to water.)

Me: “Ouch! What are you doing!”

Lady: “Oh, I thought it was a wig! That was unnecessary. You should have warned me it wasn’t!”

(Her son came and apologized the next day, but his mother no longer talks to me.)