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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Swimming To A Fault

| UK | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Three juniors for swimming, please.”

Me: “Okay.”

(We have a strict policy at our pool that children under eight have to be accompanied by an adult. I can see that one of the children is under eight.)

Me: “And is it just the children going swimming?”

Customer: “Yes, I can’t go; I am ill.”

Me: “Okay, how old are they?”

Customer: *obviously Grandpa* “They are seven, twelve and thirteen.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I cannot allow the seven-year-old in the pool without an adult over the age of 16.”

Customer: *shouting* “Tell me where is says that!”

(I point to the BIG poster on the wall.)

Customer: *walking away he shouts back* “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A HOLIDAY RESORT!” *he then says to the youngest child* “That woman wouldn’t let you in!”

Me: “I am sorry that being on holiday seems to you that you can abandon all safety for you grandchildren. Please feel free to go outside, chuck them in the sea, and see how that goes. But that will probably be somebody else’s fault, too!”

When Customers Need Toilet Training

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(Due to homeless people coming in and sleeping in our bathrooms, our policy has changed as to where we do not have public restrooms. Many customers get angry by this, but usually move on and find somewhere else. Today, I am stocking shelves when a woman comes storming towards me)

Customer: “Tell your managers that I think it’s absolutely disgusting that you don’t let your customers use the bathroom. If I did that at my job, I’d be arrested!”

Me: “Um… excuse me?”

Customer: “You guys should be arrested! It’s horrible what you are doing. If I didn’t let my children use the bathroom, I’d be thrown in jail!”

Coworker: *having overheard the woman’s complaints* “We wouldn’t be able to do our work if we kept letting customers in. And I’ll let children in, no problem, but adults should be able to hold it until they get home!”

Customer: *storms off, muttering obscenities under her breath*

Me: “What the h*** kind of job does she have?”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

| AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

(Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
Allergic To Common Sense

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An elderly woman has asked me to grab a large bag of dog food off the floor for her. As I am walking over to retrieve it, this conversation happens.)

Elderly Woman: “Oh, no, dear, I didn’t mean you grab it. Just get one of the nice young men to grab it for me.”

Me: “It’s no problem at all, ma’am! I assure you I lift these bags all the time!”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. you shouldn’t do that! What about the baby?!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, no, I am sorry for the confusion. I’m not pregnant, ma’am.”

Elderly Woman: “But someday you could be! You don’t want to risk it!”

Me: “I assure you, if I am ever pregnant, I won’t lift anything. For the mean time I am perfectly capable of lifting the bag for you. I promise.”

(I lifted the bag and brought it to the register, rang her out, and then carried it to her car. As I was walking away I heard her shouting ‘you make sure you take care of that baby!’ Now, whenever I go to lift anything, my coworkers tell me to make sure ‘not to hurt the baby!’)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

Put Your Faith In The Patch

| Canada | Health & Body, Religion, Tourists/Travel

(I work on a cruise line’s guest services desk. Frequently, passengers wear little patches that prevent sea sickness. One man comes to my desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

Man: “I was wondering what religion the people with the patches are.”

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