Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


Got No Tat For Tit

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(It’s a slow day at the retail store where I work and I have no one in line at my cash register. One of my managers walks over to my till.)

Manager: “Turn your light off. I need to talk to you for a moment.”

(I turn my light off, a little nervous.)

Me: “Am I in trouble or something?”

Manager: “Okay, well, no, not really, but I kinda have to talk to you anyway because it’s policy.”

Me: “Okay?”

Manager: “We had a customer complain to us about your shirt.”

(The shirt I’m wearing is within our uniform regulations. It’s a v-neck that doesn’t show any cleavage, although it is flattering to my figure.)

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Well, he said that your shirt was too low-cut and it was inappropriate and that, when you leaned over, he could see your tattoo down your shirt…”

(I stare at my manager for several long seconds, dumbfounded.)

Me: “[Manager], I don’t have tattoos ANYWHERE.”

Manager: *laughs* “Y’see, I didn’t think you would!”

(Satisfied that she has followed through on our policy, my manager leaves it at that. Almost a year later, I’m wearing the same shirt and am about to open one of the registers. Our registers are set up in lines where the cashier is facing their customers on the opposite side of the belt, but behind them is where the line for the next register is. I start to reorganize the register because it’s messy when a man in the line behind me mumbles something.)

Customer: “…your shirt.”

(Thinking it was something nice, I politely smile to the customer.)

Customer: “You look like a whore!”

(My face falls flat when all of a sudden it hits me — this is the same man who complained about my shirt before. Without opening my till, I walk to a manager and explain what happened. After my manager goes to confront the customer and finds he’s already left, my manager comes back to me.)

Manager: “Sorry about that. That guy’s been saying stuff about the female cashiers for several months now, regardless of what they’re wearing. We try to kick him out when we find him.”


Obama-Careless, Part 4

| MI, USA | Health & Body, Politics

(I’m an accountant for a retirement community. A long-time resident is moving from our condos to our skilled nursing unit, and I’m helping her daughter navigate the many financial issues related to that. Specifically, I’m discussing Medicaid, which will be paying for Mom’s room in nursing.)

Me: “To be eligible for Medicaid, your mother will have to have less than two thousand dollars in liquid assets. So she’ll need to pay for part of the first month out of pocket to get down to that level.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand bucks? That’s not much money. How is she supposed to live on that little?”

Me: “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it should cover all personal expenses, and Medicaid will cover the bulk of the charges for her care here.”

Daughter: “You know, I wish someone would overthrow the government and get rid of stupid rules like that.”

Me: “If someone overthrows the government, Medicaid will disappear entirely and you’ll be responsible for a bill of almost nine thousand dollars every month.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand sounds good.”

Obama-Careless, Part 3
Obama-Careless, Part 2


Gone Acrobatty

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m helping a woman and her toddler, and the computer is taking an unusually long time processing her order.)

Me: “Sorry, it’ll just be a while.”

Woman: “No problem.” *to toddler* “I’ll just put you down, okay?”

(As she bends over, I see an impatient-looking couple behind her. As she fusses with her child, the couple does an acrobatic trick that makes it look like they’re making out on TOP on the woman, from my angle. The woman then straightens up, not noticing, and they straighten up, too. This happens over and over a few times. The toddler has gone quiet. Finally, the printer prints out the woman’s receipt.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Woman: “Thanks!” *to toddler* “Come on.”

(They left, the toddler staring at the couple with a grin. The couple acted like nothing strange had happened. Maybe they really were acrobats?)


Working Here Is A Brain Drain

| Bellevue, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Health & Body

(I am sweeping the store when I see one of our regulars standing on a grocery basket to reach a soda bottle on the top shelf.)

Me: “Can I help you get that down?”

Customer: “It’s okay; I’m lightweight.”

Me: “So is the basket’s construction.”

Customer: “Well, if it breaks I’ll buy it.”

(He gets down.)

Me: “I’m more worried you’ll fall and crack your head open… because guess who gets to clean THAT up?”

Customer: *laughs* “Brain cleanup in aisle eleven!”


Doesn’t Have The Head For This Kind Of Work

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular

(I work as a dispatcher for my hometown.)

Me: “911, what’s your emergency?”

Caller: “My husband has been lying on the couch moaning in pain all day; I think he needs to go to the hospital. My address is [address].”

Me: “Okay, an ambulance is on the way. Did your husband eat anything unusual today?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Does he have any allergies?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Where did he say the pain is coming from?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, but did he do anything unusual today that could cause his pain?”

Caller: “Um, well, he shot himself in the head this morning.”

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