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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Buy

| Fresno, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Trigger Story

(I get two rather interesting customers. I do the normal “would you like a store card” spiel, and am told no, which is no problem. I run her card through the register when I hear the woman paying, in a very quiet voice, say this:)

Customer: “I wish this place sold butts.”

Me: *thinking I heard it wrong* “What?! Did you just say what I think you did?”

Customer: “Yeah. I wish this store sold butts. I need a bigger one.”

Me: *has started cracking up* “Well, you can have some of mine!”

Customer: *laughs and picks up her bag to leave, her friend laughing at her comment, too*

Me: “You’ve made my day. Have a great one!”

(Thank you, random customer who wanted a bigger butt. You made my day for sure.)

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 12

| Rotterdam, The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am a 5’8″ woman, weighing in at about 160 pounds. I work in aprons that tend to bulge around the waist. As one customer is paying, I am talking to his friend.)

Customer: “So, when is your due date?”

Me: “Sir, there are questions you should not ask a woman unless you are one hundred percent sure.”

Customer: “Oh, but I am sure you are pregnant!”

(I was too flabbergasted to even respond at this point. I walked away and quickly changed into a different style apron. I still don’t understand how he could think asking that would be okay – I hope someone explained it to him!)

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 10
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 9

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A Dislocated Sense Of Priority

| Holladay, UT, USA | Health & Body, Popular

(My joints sometimes don’t cooperate, which can make being a postal carrier interesting. On one such instance, I have just pulled into a neighborhood to start a walk when I dislocate my shoulder. When this happens while I’m alone, it’s easier to put back in if I’m lying down, so I pick a spot on the lawn I am parked in front of, very painfully ease myself down, and try to relax. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I carefully roll over, slowly get to my feet again, and sit back down in my truck to call my boss. After he’d comes to pick me up and assigns the rest of the route to someone else:)

Boss: “You weren’t the only person to call me about this, y’know.”

Me: “Ah, really? Someone wondering if I was okay?”

Boss: “Kind of. They said there was a carrier ‘rolling around on the ground,’ and wondered when they would be getting their mail.”

(Glad to know my customers are so interested in my well being!)