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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Grandma Hates Football

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in an assisted living home. We only offer our restrooms to those visiting residents, employees, and visiting staff, not to the general public. It should be noted that we are near a large football stadium and people tend to park near us on game days. A person wearing the home team’s jersey, hat, etc. walks in the building and comes up to me at the front desk.)

Person: “Hello, can I use the restroom?”

Me: Are you here visiting someone?”

Person: *thinking they’ve got me* “Yes, my grandma.”

Me: “Oh? What’s her name? And I’ll need you to sign in, please.”

Person: *turning red* “Look, I just need to use the bathroom before the game.”

Me: “Yes, and they have facilities at the stadium for that.”

Person: “But there are lines! I don’t want to miss kickoff!”

Me: *shrugs* “Sorry, but the answer’s still no.”

Person: “UGH, you just hate football!” *stomps out in a huff*

(I actually like football, just not a**-hole fans. Some variation of this conversation happens every single game day with multiple people.)

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Time To Prescribe Some Common Sense

| CT, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(Our pharmacy automatically substitutes a generic for brand name medication when a generic is available. The exception is if the doctor writes “brand name only,” or the patient specifically requests brand name. Of course, the generic names aren’t as well known, so the customers will sometimes be confused as to what prescription they have until we explain that the medication is a generic and does the exact same thing as the brand, though at a lower cost. The information about the drug is also printed on a pamphlet, including the brand names, in case they don’t believe us.)

Me: “Hello, [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “I didn’t get [Brand Sleep Medication]. I got it with something extra! I just want the regular type.”

Me: “I’m sorry, something extra?”

Customer: “Yeah I got [poorly pronounced Generic] instead, and you guys gave me extra.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s the generic name of [Brand]; there’s nothing extra in it.”

Customer: “I don’t want the extended release, just the [Brand].”

Me: “Ma’am, that IS the regular strength. That’s just the name they use.”

Customer: *finally getting the point* “So, this [Brand]?”

Me: *giving up trying to explain generic* “Yes, ma’am, it is [Brand].”

Customer: “So there’s nothing extra in it?”

Me: “Right. Here, what’s your name, so I can look it up?”

(She gives me her name and DOB so I can verify she does in fact have the generic.)

Me: “Okay, I looked it up, that is the [Brand], regular strength.”

Customer: *finally getting the idea* “Okay, thank you!”

(I get off the phone, and the pharmacist, who has been listening to my call the whole time, is trying not to laugh as he’s talking.)

Pharmacist: “So she DIDN’T have ‘extra stuff’ in her medication?”

Me: “No, she didn’t. It was just [Generic]. Why don’t they just read the information labels?”

Pharmacist: “That would take away half of our job description.”

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Pregnancy Can Attack From The Sides

| Maryville, TN, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A cashier has worked at this particular store with me for three years through college. She’s kept her pregnancy fairly quiet as she’s a private person. She’s finally showing.)

Customer #1: “Congratulations!”

Cashier: “Thank you.”

Customer #1: “Was it planned?”

Cashier: “Nope. I was trying for a puppy.”

Customer #1: *leaves*

Customer #2: “Oh! You’re pregnant! But you’re so young! You know how that happens, don’t you?”

Cashier: “I really don’t; would you mind explaining? In detail.”

Customer #2: *leaves*

Customer #3: “Were you planning a baby?”

Cashier: “Well, I was really hoping for a velociraptor but luckily I get nine months to plan for a baby instead.”

(Customer #3 leaves. I walk over to the cashier.)

Me: “You’d think after three years of seeing you every week they’d learn you don’t discuss your personal life at work.”

Cashier: “You’d think. Who asks if a baby is planned? Crazy.”

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Not Keeping A Lid On Your Time Of The Month

| Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a very popular ice cream shop, and we are able to do something called fresh-packs, in which we pack fresh ice cream into containers for people to take home.)

Customer: “Hi! Can I please get a small fresh-pack of chocolate ice cream?”

Me: “Sure! I’ll get that for you. Give me just a moment.”

(I packed up the ice cream and was reaching for a lid before she stopped me.)

Customer: “Oh, no, don’t bother with the lid!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Yeah, don’t bother with the lid. It’s one of THOSE months.”

Me: “Oh, haha, I getcha! Let me get you a spoon.”

(She paid, got her ice cream, sat down, and ate all of it.)

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Bad Grandma

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(Working the Main Entrance Lobby desk, our job is to get the full name of the patient before putting a visitor wristband on the visitor and giving directions to the patient’s room. For security reasons we cannot allow anyone to enter the hospital without them giving the patient’s full name or stating where they are heading if they aren’t visiting a patient.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Visitor: “I am visiting someone who just had a baby.”

Me: “Okay, what is the patient’s name so I can see what room they are in?”

Visitor: “His name is [Name].”

Me: “Okay… there is no patient by that name. You said they were in maternity? And that’s the name of the mother?”

Visitor: “No! Clearly that’s a man’s name. That’s the father of the baby!”

Me: “Oh, I see! Well, I need the name of the patient who is admitted, so that is the mother’s name.”

Visitor: “I don’t know her name. You should be able to look it up under his name!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. We must be given the full name of the person actually admitted to the hospital before giving out any visitors wristbands.”

Visitor: “This is ridiculous! I don’t know the f****** b****’s name. She my son’s wife. I think it’s Brittany or something. Why is my son not listed? It’s his kid, too! Doesn’t he get paternal rights?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I don’t know anything about his rights; however, since this is a hospital the only people we admit are those who need medical care. Unless your son was the one who was in labor and pushed a baby out of his body, I suggest you call your son and ask the name of the woman who just gave birth to your grandchild.”

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