Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Try To Keep Pace With The Questions

| NSW, Australia | Health & Body, Technology

(I work as a receptionist for a radiology practice, and we need to go through a list of safety questions before a patient can go in for their scan. An old woman and her daughter/carer walk in.)

Daughter: “Hello, my mother has an appointment today.”

Me: “No problem. First I need to go through a list of implants or devices she may have in her body, and I just need a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether she has them.”

Daughter: “No, no, no! My mother doesn’t have anything! She’s just as God made her!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is protocol. It’s important to ask each question…”

Daughter: “Don’t bother; the answer is “no” to everything.”

Me: “Okayyy…” *notes this down on form*

Patient: “Well, I do have a pacemaker. Will that be a problem?”

(She was about to get an MRI. That could kill a patient!)

Finally Sir(mised) The Situation

| Asheville, NC, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(I am a rather petite woman with a micro pixie; my hair is no longer than an inch. I am holding the doors open for returning guests to our hotel. The uniform I’m wearing is unisex cut, but it is still rather obvious that I’m female. Rounding out the group of guests is an elderly couple with walkers and a somewhat younger-than-them woman making sure they get along all right, probably a daughter. The elderly couple are obviously more focused on walking than me.)

Elderly Gentleman: “Thank you, sir.”

(Neither surprised nor offended, I just giggle and welcome him through the door. The somewhat younger woman behind him STARES at me until she’s passing through the door. It’s actually getting rather creepy and I’m not feeling more uncomfortable than amused.)

Woman: “You know, if you grew it out we’d know the difference.”

Wasn’t The Number One Problem At The Old Place

| Eugene, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I recently switched from one big office supply chain store to another. Today is my first real day alone in the print center. A mother and her two kids come in near the end of my shift to make copies. I am working on another job behind the counter and everything is going smoothly until I hear her start whispering in a panicked tone.)

Customer: “Put that away! You can’t just do that wherever!” *pause* “What?!”

(At this point I’m curious and look up and see nothing wrong at first, but then I notice the giant wet spot on the carpet. Her four-year-old has just decided it would be fun to whip it out and pee all over the cart, his sister, and my self serve copy area’s floor.)

Customer: “Oh, he was just having some fun, but you should probably clean it up yourself since you are paid to deal with this kind of stuff, and I’m in a huge hurry.”

Me: “What?!”

Customer: *leaves, but not before buying her son every candy bar at the checkout*

Me: *radio* “Hey, Boss, so this just happened…”

Boss: “Are you serious?!”

Me: “Yep. What’s the protocol with this kind of stuff? This never happened to me at [Old Office Supply Store].”

Boss: “Well, welcome to [New Company], where s*** gets weird. Grab some disinfectant and a towel.”

Me: “S***.”

Please Take A Health Tip

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I work in a small-town convenience store, specializing in tobacco.)

Customer: “I’ll have a box of those [Brand] cigars, too, please.”

Me: “I got ’em with plastic tips, or wood tips.”

Customer: “Oh, wood tips, always! Plastic tips’ll give ya cancer!”

Waiting His Turn Took A Turn For Justice

| Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work in a biker’s cafe in a small town and a lot of the older residents come in on Wednesday for the Old Age Pensioner’s meal deal. One lady comes in who has a quite debilitating stutter and doesn’t read very well. I’m working my way through the menu with her, reading out each option until I eventually get to fish and chips and she starts nodding.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Why didn’t you just say that then?!”

(I tell the woman the price and help her count out the correct change.)

Next Customer: “For f*** sake! Just give her the god-d*** food! Can’t you see she’s senile?!”

(The woman is now trying not to cry and drops her purse on the floor.)

Next Customer: “Oh, just throw her out. I’ll have a coffee.”

Me: “Can you just wait your turn please, sir.”

Next Customer: “I’m not waiting a year for the coffin dodger to finish. Give me a coffee!”

(One of the huge leather clad bikers gets up, goes over to the customer, picks him up, and takes him outside. The woman I’m serving breaths a sigh of relief and utters the first phrase I’ve heard out of her that had no hint of a stutter.)

Woman: “What a tw*t!”

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