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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Insert Inert

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular

(I am at a shoe shop that sells special inserts. I’m the only customer in the shop, and the only [visible] employee on duty is being very helpful.)

Me: “Thanks, so will these inserts do?”

Employee: “Yeah. Now, when you insert them in your shoes, remember to place it this way.” *he picks up a shoe and demonstrates* “With the arch placed where your foot’s arch will be. If you don’t put them in right, it could mess with your hips when you walk.”

Me: “Right… that’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?”

Employee: “Oh, you’d be surprised at the people I’ve seen. One lady came back to the shop complaining about pain in her legs, and it turned out she’d put in her inserts completely backward. I was kind of impressed with how she managed to squeeze the inserts inside those shoes without noticing they didn’t fit that way. So, now I make sure customers know how to put them in correctly. I’m not taking any chances with my job ever again.”

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Hot-Blooded Versus Low-Blooded

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am a pharmacy student currently working as a technician at a local pharmacy. A patient who is on a blood-pressure lowering medication is now starting a new lowered dose.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Patient]. I just wanted to make sure that you’re aware the doctor is changing the dose for your medication?”

Patient: “Yup, I was getting lightheaded and passing out from the medication.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully this new dose works out better for you!”

Patient: “Yeah, so I was on top of my wife and then suddenly I blacked out and I fell on top of her, and it just really killed the mood, y’know? After that, the moment was just over…”

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Might Need Some Hearing Aid Too

| Yorkton, SK, Canada | Health & Body, Popular

(This takes place in my house, which is not a business of any kind. I get a phone call about mid-afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [Optometrist]?”

Me: “No, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “It’s not [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, it’s my house. No doctors work here.”

Caller: “But I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Caller: “But I get my glasses with [Doctor]!”

Me: “But this isn’t a doctor’s office; it’s my house.”

Caller: “Can I make an appointment?”

Me: “No, it’s not an office. It’s my house. I’m not an optometrist.”

Caller: “Where are you?”

Me: “Yorkton?”

Caller: “But [Doctor] isn’t in Yorkton!”

Me: “Right, you called the wrong number.”

Caller: “But I called [Doctor]!”

Me: But this is my house. No optometrists work here. You called the wrong number.”

Caller: “I need new glasses!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Maybe double check the number?”

Caller: “You’re sure this isn’t [Doctor]?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “Well sorry for bothering you. I was sure I called [Doctor].”

Me: “No biggie.”