Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

You Did A Great (Dane) Service Today

| Long Island, NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am the receptionist at a busy veterinarian’s office. I answer a call from a gentleman who was trying to make an appointment:)

Pet Owner: “I’d like to make an appointment for the vet to see my three dogs.”

Me: “I have an opening two weeks from today.”

Pet Owner: “Gee, I was hoping for something much sooner.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but seeing three dogs takes a longer amount of time, and I don’t see a block of time to accommodate you until then. What seems to be the problem?”

Pet Owner: “My dogs have diarrhea. All three of them.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; that must be difficult for you.”

Pet Owner: “It sure is. My dogs are Great Danes.”

Me: “…bring them in at 6:00 pm today. We’ll stay open.”

(Great Danes are the world’s tallest dogs, with males reaching heights of nearly three feet. (Scooby Doo of the cartoon is a Great Dane.) I knew by giving that poor man an appointment that day I probably saved an entire forest of trees that would have been made into paper towels. The dogs recovered quickly.)

In Need Of An Empathy Sandwich

| Columbia, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working as a manager on the night shift at a sandwich restaurant. One of my delivery drivers has just been involved in a very serious car accident just half a block from the store. I’m walking back into the store after watching the paramedics pull him out of the wreckage and I’m understandably shaken. As I come in, I notice a customer standing at the counter.)

Me: “Have you been helped yet?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for my sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry for your wait. I had to step out for a moment because one of our drivers was just hurt in a wreck on the corner.”

Customer: *very angry* “Well, that’s not my problem! That’s what the ambulance is for.”

(For a moment, I’m just stunned by the utter callousness of the statement. Then I open the register and pull out a refund on the customer’s order.)

Me: “Here’s your money back. We will not be serving you tonight or ever again. And, if someone you care about is ever hurt, I hope they are surrounded by people with far more empathy than you.”

The Argument Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On

| Nottingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body

(When I was nine I was in a car accident resulting in the loss of the lower part of my left leg. I now wear a solid, life-like, suction-attached prosthetic. I have a “disabled parking” badge but very rarely use it; however, I’ve hurt my back and am in pain through my right hip and thigh. I and my husband both have good jobs and no kids so we have a decent disposable income allowing us to splurge on presents (nice cars, watches, bags, etc.). I’m shopping and park in a disabled bay (one of 12, 5 being used), go in, and am there for two minutes before I hear a customer announcement for the owner of a light blue mini with my reg. I go to customer services and see a security guard. We then go out to my car and there’s another security guard, a middle age woman, and a traffic warden at my car.)

Woman: “That’s her! I saw her park then walk in like she hasn’t a care in the world.”

(The traffic warden asks me a couple of questions,. I show him my license and tell him the other paperwork is in the car. We get it and move to the back of my car. He looks everything over. I then raise my trouser leg a bit to show him my prosthetic.)

Traffic Warden: “Okay, everything seems in order. I’m sorry for any trouble.”

(We turn to the security guards who are listening to the woman rant and moan about me.)

Traffic Warden: “Everything’s fine. There’s no problem.”

Woman: “What the f***? Are you looking at her? There’s nothing f****** wrong with her. My husband has had five years of back problems and two surgeries; we need a disabled space.”

Security Guard: “Madam, the warden has said nothing is wrong. Please stop shouting and swearing at our customers.”

(She then stands in front of me so I can’t pass.)

Woman: “Did this whore offer to blow you or something? I’m sick of these types. Just because they’re pretty they think they can get away with anything!”

(The store manager arrives, telling us the police have been called.)

Woman: *to me* “You little b****. I f****** hate you. No-one who has a car—” *she bangs her fist on my car* “—like this is disabled. No-one who dresses like you is disabled. Is that a [Very Famous French Designer] bag? Did you get that from one of your clients? Whore!”

Security Guard: “Please, madam. We’ve asked you to stop talking like this. Not all disabilities are visible. You need to calm yourself and stop swearing.”

(I’ve had enough. I sit on the bonnet of my car, pull my trouser leg up, detach my prosthetic and stand it next to me on the bonnet. Everyone is quiet. The woman just stands there, staring, opening and closing her mouth. I pull my trouser leg back up as far as it will go so the woman can see my heavily scarred stump and re-attach my prosthetic.)

Me: “Well, I’m going shopping.”

(As I went in I saw a police car pull up. The manager came and found me as I was shopping. He offered me a gift card but I declined; it wasn’t their fault. He also told me that the traffic warden was wearing a pocket camera and everything was recorded. He took my details as the police, after being told what happened, were pressing charges of public nuisance, discrimination charges, and resisting arrest. I was contacted by the police and asked if I wanted to include damage to private property from when she hit my car. I did. She deserved it.)

Lattes And Sugar And Foam, Oh My

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(During an average shift at my café:)

Me: “Large latte!”

Customer: “No! I ordered a cappuccino with no foam!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. Same thing. Latte is cappuccino with no foam”

Customer: “You’re all useless!”

(A little later:)

Me: “Two lattes and a mocha.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God I ordered a mocha and two lattes!”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Customer #3: *demands to see which skim milk we use to ensure it’s skim enough* “Okay, that will do. And I’ll have some whip cream on top, too.”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Me: “Would you like any sugar in your take away coffee?”

Customer #4: “No, sugar is POISON. I’ll have nine sweeteners.”

Me: “Sorry, was that nine?”

(It was. A little later:)

Customer #5: “I’ll have a caramel iced coffee without the caramel.”

Me: “So just a regular iced coffee?” *caramel ice coffee is a dollar more*

Customer: “CARAMEL ice coffee, just no caramel. Are you awake? Jeez.”

Me: “No worries.”

(I could write a novel.)

The Laziness Epidemic Is Escalating

| Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your escalator is, please? I need to go up stairs.”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have one. We have a lift you can use though.”

Customer: “Oh, no. Lifts are for lazy fat people who don’t want exercise. I prefer the escalator.” *leaves the store*

Me: *internally* “How are escalators healthier than lifts? You’re still letting a machine move for you!”

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