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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Really Rhea-lly Honest

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An older gentleman comes into my section of the store late one afternoon. We’ve been very slow, so I’m excited to have something to do. The following conversation ensues:)

Me: *smiling* “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

Customer: *grumbles* “Eh, I’ve seen better days.”

Me: “Aw… it can’t be—”

Customer: “I woke up at four am with diarrhea.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But at least it wasn’t gonorrhea!”

Me: “…That’s true. Let me get you those copies.”

(After being in retail for three-and-a-half years, I honestly don’t know if some people have a filter!)

A Different Kind Of Stoned

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(As I walk past the restrooms heading back to the manager’s office, a man comes out of the men’s room.)

Customer: “I finally did! I finally passed that son of a gun!”

(The man holds up a wad of toilet paper… with a KIDNEY STONE on it.)

Me: “Oh, God.” *and I quickly duck into the office!*

Try To Keep Pace With The Questions

| NSW, Australia | Health & Body, Technology

(I work as a receptionist for a radiology practice, and we need to go through a list of safety questions before a patient can go in for their scan. An old woman and her daughter/carer walk in.)

Daughter: “Hello, my mother has an appointment today.”

Me: “No problem. First I need to go through a list of implants or devices she may have in her body, and I just need a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether she has them.”

Daughter: “No, no, no! My mother doesn’t have anything! She’s just as God made her!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is protocol. It’s important to ask each question…”

Daughter: “Don’t bother; the answer is “no” to everything.”

Me: “Okayyy…” *notes this down on form*

Patient: “Well, I do have a pacemaker. Will that be a problem?”

(She was about to get an MRI. That could kill a patient!)