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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Caught In The Heat Of The Moment

| UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a waitress, serving food to a table. The plates are hot, and I’m holding them in cloths to serve them. I go to put down a plate in front of a boy about ten years old, who reaches out to grab the plate.)

Me: “Oh, no, be careful. It’s hot!”

(The kid snatches the plate out of my hands and almost drops it.)

Boy: “It’s hot!”

Me: “Are you okay? Are your hands all right?”

Boy: “Yeah, I think.”

Mother: “Are you okay?! Are you hurt?”

Me: *seeing she’s acting very panicked* “Do you want me to fetch a damp cloth or something for him?”

Mother: “Yes, please.”

(I go and fetch a cold towel for him and come back to the table.)

Mother: “I can’t believe you just did that. That was very bad of you. How could you give a plate that hot to a child? He’s had to go to the bathroom with his dad!”

Me: *a bit shocked, as she had clearly seen him snatch it out my hands* “I’m very sorry. I did warn him that it was hot. It is quite loud so he might not have heard me.”

Mother: “But how could you let him hold it? These plates are really hot. That was an awful thing for you to do. He’s only young and you’ve really injured him. I can’t believe you.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I was trying to put it on the table and he grabbed it out of my hands.”

(At this point my boss turns up to serve the rest of the food.)

Boss: “Is everything all right here?”

Mother: “No, actually. She’s just handed my son a red hot plate knowing it would hurt him. He’s in a lot of pain now and it’s all her fault!”

(My boss gives me a look and takes me to one side, out of earshot of the table.)

Me: “I’m really sorry; he just grabbed it. I don’t think he heard me say how hot it was.”

Boss: “Don’t worry, I don’t think you’d hurt a kid on purpose! I’m guessing his dad’s taken him to run his hands under cold water. The plates aren’t that hot but I’ll deal with it if they’re upset.”

(She came into the kitchen later saying that apparently they had not put cold water on his hands, but his mother was demanding we bring burn cream out for him (the boy himself insisted it didn’t hurt anymore). The worst part? He ordered a hot pudding and snatched that plate off me, too! Luckily the plate itself was cold!)

A Big Fat Irony

| Denmark, Aarhus | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “Hi, I would like one skinny latte, please. No sugar.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We don’t have nonfat milk, but I can make you a latte with skimmed milk which only has 0.5% fat.”

Customer: “Ugh, no thanks. That is still too much.”

Me: “Well, I am sorry, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like a chocolate cream cake, and can you cut it into pieces so I can eat it in the bus?”

Living In Her Own Bubble(Gum)

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work as a cashier. A mother and daughter approach my till, and I can hear them arguing.)

Daughter: “I want the gum!”

Mother: “You can’t have it.”

Daughter: “But I want it!”

Mother: “Tough. Chewing gum is a filthy habit, and I won’t let you start.” *turns to me* “Twenty [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Blow That Idea Right Out The Window

| Montréal, QC, Canada | Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at one of the very few hotels that still has smoking rooms and so have to ask every guest who does not mention his or her preference up-front which type of room they want.)

Me: “Would you like a smoking or non-smoking room”

Guest: *with what looks like a genuinely confused look on his face* “Well… what’s the difference?”

Me: “Uh… you are allowed to smoke in a smoking room. If you smoke in a non-smoking room, we charge you a $250.00 fine for doing so.”

Guest: *visibly hesitant* “Really… uh… hmm!… And what is the difference in rates between the smoking and non-smoking?”

Me: *still maintaining my professionally patient tone of voice* “Smoking rooms are only $5.00 more per day, sir.”

Guest: *seemingly thinking it over much longer then he should need to* “How about if I take the non-smoking room and blow the smoke out the window? You wouldn’t charge me for that would you?”

(Wanting to bang my head on the counter, I stop short of it by simply nodding my head ‘Yes’ with a most serious look on my face.)

Guest: “Oh!… I… guess I’ll take the smoking room, then.”

Me: “WISE choice, sir!”

A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

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