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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Need To Sun-Screen Out The Inconsiderate Customers

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(It’s not unusual, in the middle of a transaction, for a family to notice that they’ve forgotten their sunscreen. As I’m whiter than a ghost, usually I need to wear sunscreen even in the shaded booth, so I bring my own bottle into the booth for protection. If a family who treats me nice, forgets their own sunscreen, I’ll let them use some of mine.)

Mom: “Oh, no! We forgot sunscreen!”

Dad: “Do you sell any of it in the park?”

Me: “We do, but I have to admit, it’s five dollars, it’s 15 SPF, and it’s the size of travel tube of toothpaste.”

Dad: “Oh, man!”

Me: “But… I actually have a bottle of 60 SPF for my own personal use. I’d be willing for you to use some for free.”

Dad: “Oh, thank you!”

(He turns to his wife who wasn’t paying attention to his conversation with me.)

Dad: “Honey, she says we can use her sunscreen.”

(I hand the woman the bottle, and she takes it. Suddenly, she puts it in the stroller and starts walking away.)

Me: “Wait! Wait! WAIT!”

(The dad stops his wife and grabs the bottle.)

Dad: “She meant, to borrow.”

Mom: “Oh.”

Can’t Talk Your Way Out Of That One

| Methuen, MA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m scanning a customer’s groceries. Everything is going normally, and then she says out of the blue:)

Customer: “Do you like my shirt?”

(It’s a shirt for a cancer awareness walk.)

Me: “Sure, it’s a nice shirt.”

Customer: “Yeah. I had cancer, you know.”

Me: “Oh, no! But you’re cancer-free now, I hope?”

Customer: “Yes. But I don’t like to talk about it.”

Me: “…Have a nice day.”

An Artificially Inseminated Refund

| Northwood, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am walking near the customer service area when I overhear a woman trying to return an item. We have a pretty liberal return policy; as long as you have the receipt and the actual item, you get your money back.  Only managers can approve returns, so customer service has called the assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: I want to return this turkey baster here. I’ve got the receipt and everything.”

Assistant Manager: “Certainly, ma’am. I need to fill out this form and you’ll be on your way. What can I put down as the reason for return?”

Customer: “Well, no matter which way I sit, it HURTS!”

Assistant Manager: “…”

(The assistant manager turned bright red, got the customer’s money, and ran back to the break room in sheer embarrassment while the rest of us burst out in hysterical laughter.)