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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Injured In The Name Of The Lord

| Muskegon, MI, USA | Health & Body, Religion

(I work at a general store in town. A lot of God-fearing people tend to come in there, especially on Sundays, since we are across the street from a church. We always have to watch our language when we work. We are stocking the shelves, when someone knocks into it, and a large, heavy can of meat falls on the head of one of my fellow employees.)

Employee: *drops the ‘F’ Bomb and falls right to the floor*

(Everyone in the store hears it. I go running to where he is at, and sees that the can has hit him so hard, he is bleeding, and out cold.)

Me: “[Manager], call an ambulance!”

Female Customer: *marches up to me* “EXCUSE me?! Did I hear this young man say a foul word just outside the steps of The House of the Lord?”

Me: *panicking* “Ma’am, please, he needs help—”

Customer: “He NEEDS to ask forgiveness from our Lord and Savior for using the Devil’s language!”

Me: “I will make sure he does when he wakes up, but please—”

(At this point, the Customer goes off about how sinful it was for him to speak to church folk and ‘befouled the ears of the innocent’ with his unholy talk.)

Manager: “Ma’am, please step back. This man is injured.”

Customer: “He is injured because he speaks in wicked tongues!”

Me: *at this point, I am scared and angry* “No, he is injured because a f***ing can fell on this poor bastard’s head! Now PLEASE step the f*** away from him so the medic team here can help him!”

(The woman was mortified, but the manager was understanding that I was upset. She did leave, and filed a complaint with our office. I didn’t get into too much trouble, thankfully. though that woman refuses to enter that ‘den of sin’ store ever again. Also, the employee is all right. He just needed some stitches.)

An Unhealthy Attitude

| WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work at a gym and am currently staffing a booth at a health event at the local hospital. The majority of the people attending have been the hospital staff and all have been very pleasant.)

Me: *to a passing nurse* “Would you like to enter a chance to win a free membership?”

Nurse: *looks at me like I asked her to murder puppies* “I WON’T EVER SET FOOT IN A HEALTH CLUB! THEY ARE DISGUSTING AND DIRTY AND FULL OF GERMS!” *storms off*

Me: *to my coworker* “Does she not realize she works in a hospital?”

Need To Sun-Screen Out The Inconsiderate Customers

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(It’s not unusual, in the middle of a transaction, for a family to notice that they’ve forgotten their sunscreen. As I’m whiter than a ghost, usually I need to wear sunscreen even in the shaded booth, so I bring my own bottle into the booth for protection. If a family who treats me nice, forgets their own sunscreen, I’ll let them use some of mine.)

Mom: “Oh, no! We forgot sunscreen!”

Dad: “Do you sell any of it in the park?”

Me: “We do, but I have to admit, it’s five dollars, it’s 15 SPF, and it’s the size of travel tube of toothpaste.”

Dad: “Oh, man!”

Me: “But… I actually have a bottle of 60 SPF for my own personal use. I’d be willing for you to use some for free.”

Dad: “Oh, thank you!”

(He turns to his wife who wasn’t paying attention to his conversation with me.)

Dad: “Honey, she says we can use her sunscreen.”

(I hand the woman the bottle, and she takes it. Suddenly, she puts it in the stroller and starts walking away.)

Me: “Wait! Wait! WAIT!”

(The dad stops his wife and grabs the bottle.)

Dad: “She meant, to borrow.”

Mom: “Oh.”