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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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It’s A Hug(e) Fear To Get Over

USA | Health & Body, Popular

(I work in an assisted living facility. One of our residents, a man who can’t support his own weight well and usually needs help dressing his lower half, is currently on quarantine for a highly contagious disease, and is not allowed to leave his room or be visited by other residents. Whenever I go into his room to help him with something, I must put on a protective gown and gloves. He has called me in several times to ask me in three times already to help me get dressed, but has sent me away once for not setting clothes out in the right order, and twice after getting him a drink that he wants to take time finishing first. It is not until the fourth time that he finally allows me to help him into his pants.)

Resident: “We did it.”

Me: “Yes, we did.”

Resident: “High five!”

(I’m still wearing gloves, and the proposition is cute, so I high five him.)

Resident: “Ah. I know we got off to a rough start this morning, but you and I make a good team!”

Me: “That we do. I’m happy I could help.”

Resident: “You know, come here. Let me give you a hug.”

Me: “Um…”

Resident: *joking* “I’ve had my coffee. I won’t bite now.”

(The resident has obeyed rules not to leave his room, but I’ve become increasingly aware over the course of the day that he doesn’t fully realize he’s infectious with something spread on contact. My protective gown does cover my back, but not as thoroughly as the front, and there is nothing covering my face, so I don’t feel safe with such close contact.)

Me: “Sorry. I’m not a very big fan of hugs. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Resident: “Not a fan of hugs? Oh, ma’am, you’re missing out on a wonderful thing.”

(Whenever I see him now, he pulls me aside, holds my hands real tight, and gives me a speech about how he hopes I can conquer my fears and learn to accept the beauty of physical affection. He seems really worried about me and my fabricated hug dislike.)

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Not Behaving Like A Ladies

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(We’ve just been alerted by a customer that the ladies’ restroom is out of toilet paper, so we’ve sent one of the cashiers to replace the rolls. Another customer approaches the pickup counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, there’s no toilet paper in the ladies’ room.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. [Other Coworker] is bringing it out right now and she’ll replace it in a moment.”

Coworker: *angrily* “Well, if it takes too long, she’ll have a puddle to clean up on the floor instead!”

(The cashier refilled the paper just a few seconds after that, but the customer still left our corporate office a profanity-laden voicemail about our rudeness.)

Receiving Way Too Much

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Health & Body, Technology

(I walk a customer through performing a system test on the satellite receiver in his living room.)

Me: “Okay, sir, that one works fine. Can you test the one in your bedroom?”

Customer: “Yeah. Let me get back there.” *he then proceeds to ask about the weather in our area as I hear fluid trickling in the background*

Me: *I finish describing the weather, still hearing a trickle* “Are you ready to test your bedroom receiver now, sir?”

Customer: “Well, I’m in the bathroom now. Hang on.”

They’re Nutso Different

, | Charlevoix, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a fudge shop during tourist season. All the types of fudge are in a large display that takes up the entire length of the room, separating the workers from the customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *stares blankly at the display* “…What are those two there?” *points vaguely at two types of fudge*

Me: “This one on the left is walnut fudge, and the other on the right is cashew.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, what’s the difference between walnut and cashew fudge?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Um… one has walnuts… and the other has cashews?”

Customer: “Oh. Well I don’t like nuts. Can I get this one instead?” *points to a display peanut butter fudge*

Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary

| UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(In the restaurant I work in the waiting staff make the desserts. We get an order for our children’s pancakes dessert which normally comes with ice cream, sauce, and marshmallows. The message says ‘just pancakes and marshmallows, no dairy.’ I check with my coworker who took the order.)

Me: “Our pancakes have dairy in them. Did you inform the customer?”

Coworker: “Yes. They just said they wanted them anyway, so I put the order through as they asked.”

(I decide to go check with the customer, who ordered the pancakes for her sons. Just in case there was any confusion.)

Me: “Sorry to disturb, but is this the table that ordered the pancakes with no dairy, just marshmallows?”

Customer: “Yes. Is there a problem?”

Me: “Are your children lactose-intolerant at all?”

Customer: “Yes, actually.”

Me: “Well, the pancakes we sell aren’t lactose-free. And I’m sorry, but we have no dairy-free alternative. I wouldn’t want your boys to get sick.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I know. But I already promised my boys the dessert. With all the extra stuff on they will get sick, but just the pancakes will make them only a little sick, so that’s fine.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I walk away to explain to my coworker making desserts not to worry about anything. The boys enjoyed their desserts but didn’t look to great afterwards.)

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