Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Giving You The Finger

| Helsinki, Finland | Health & Body

(I am admitting walk-in patients in an emergency room. A man walks to me, and he has a bloody handkerchief around his left middle finger. I deduce he has a cut on that finger. However, I am taught to always let the patient explain what has happened to avoid misunderstandings.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. What brings you into the emergency room?”

Patient: “This.”

(He drops a severed middle finger on the counter.)

Me: “Oo-kay, then…”

Urine For A Shock

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

(I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

(I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

(I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

(I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

(Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

You’re Not Allowed To Get Sick On Sundays

| Athens, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work as a telephone operator at a small hospital in a college town. I have received this call numerous amounts of times while working there.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi, what time do ya’ll close?”

Me: “Umm, ma’am/sir, the hospital never closes.”

(Most people don’t realize that yes, there are people at the hospital all the time, and some even called to ask when the ER closed!)

Yet To Find Your Calling

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I have an elderly patient that has been a little confused due to recent illness…)

Me: “Can I help you with something?”

Patient: “How the h*** should I know?!”

Me: “Well, you put on your call light…”

Patient: “Well, I’m confused! You’re the nurse; it’s your job to know what I need and just do it!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll return if I figure it out…”

The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On, Part 2

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(The store where I work just hired a new employee. I am training her. We have a huge sale going on so she is running the second register next to me. A man steps up to her station, tossing a few car parts and a set of cards of the table.)

Trainee: “Hi there, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Fine. How much?”

Trainee: *rings it all quickly* “$82.69”

Customer: “What? Where is my military discount!” *he picks up one of the cards and waves it at her*

Trainee: “I’m sorry, because of the sale we can’t add more discounts.”

Customer: “I fought for this country. I got f****** shot at. I am not paying full price.”

Me: “Sir, that isn’t full price. You can either have the 20% Military discount or the 40% sale discount. We gave you the larger discount.”

Customer: “Have you ever been shot at? No. The hardest part of your day is counting change. And you probably get paid almost as much as I do. I nearly died to protect your stupid a** so I deserve my discount. My money is worth more than yours. This dumb b**** is going to give me what I earned!”

Trainee: *casually removes prosthetic leg* “This dumb b**** disarmed bombs. What’s my money worth?”

Customer: *goes red and silently hands over card*

Trainee: “Would you like to donate to [Disabled Veteran’s Charity] today?”

Customer: “Twenty, ma’am.”

(The line set a new hourly record for donations.)

Related:
The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On