Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Can’t Handle A Car But Can Handle A Conversation

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I am an apparently able-bodied person who suffers from an invisible disability which renders me medically unable to operate a motor vehicle. The following conversation takes place today at my job.)

Customer: “How does this car handle?”

Me: “Couldn’t say, sir. I don’t drive.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t drive?”

Me: “Just that, sir. I’ve never driven an automobile. Consequently, I’m unable to tell you how that car handles. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** are you working here for? You sure picked a stupid place to get a job!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but disabled people have to earn a living, too. Will there be anything else?”

Customer: *embarrassed, blushing and refusing to make eye contact* “Uh, um, ahhhh. I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Me: *flat rattlesnake eyes and coldly monotone voice* “No, sir. You didn’t. Good day.”

(The word ‘slink’ is so seldom used these days and even more seldom seen in action…)

Sadly She’s Not Kidding Around

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m 22, but I look much younger and am commonly guessed to be about 12 or so. I’m working with an older coworker when a lady comes in and notices me. A lady customer looks between my coworker and I as he rings her up, smiling. She notices my name tag.)

Lady: “Well, hello there, Mr. [My Name]; don’t you look awfully dapper today!”

Me: *I smile politely, ignoring the obvious tone of ‘I am talking with a child’ in her voice* “Thank you, ma’am.”

Lady: “Did you pick out your outfit all by yourself today?”

Me: “…Yes, ma’am, I did.”

Lady: *turns attention back to my coworker and gestures between the two of us* “So, is he your nephew, then, or?”

Coworker: “No… he’s my coworker.”

(Her face dropped and she realized her mistake. I awkwardly shuffled away. Afterwards my coworker commented that he understood why I hated when people mistook me to be so much younger. She thought it was bring your kid to work day…)

Intelligence Is Not In Their Blood

, | Morinville, AB, Canada | Health & Body

(A friend and I are at a local trade show, and there’s a booth from the blood clinic there. The nurse is explaining what they do, and even do a quick blood test so you can learn your blood type. As we’re chatting with her, she tell us about this one person who came by her booth earlier that day to get tested.)

Man: “Dude, I hope I have the rarest blood type!”

Nurse: “If you do, I’m going to throw you in my car and take you over to the clinic to donate a pint right now!”

Man: “WHAT? Why would you do that to me?”

Nurse: “Think about it. The rarest blood type is the type we need the most.”

Man: “Oh. Then, I hope I have the most common type.”

Closing Time Came Earlier For You

| Solihull, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular, Time

(I am on the shop floor with my mum, who has come to meet me on my lunch break. Due to a combination of the hot weather and having skipped breakfast, out of nowhere I faint. My mum puts me in the recovery position and some of my colleagues start to come over to see if I’m OK. Amidst the commotion, a customer comes over, sees my uniform, and bends over to where I am LYING ON THE FLOOR.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what time do you close today?”

Me: *too woozy and shocked to think of another response* “4:30.”

(The customer walked off without even a thank you.)

Asking Laboriously

| UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I run a small online business, and my most recent customer’s order has encountered a problem with shipping. While in the middle of trying to organise getting the customer’s item shipped to him, my partner starts going into labour. I throw together a quick message to the customer to explain the situation.)

Me: “Unfortunately you’re going to need to wait for an update on your orders shipping, as my partner has just started going into labour and I’m going to be preoccupied with that for the next day or two. Rest assured I’ll get back to sorting out your items shipping as soon as possible. Once again, sorry for the delay.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Three hours later.)

Customer: “Hey, any update on my order?”

(I’m not sure what child-birthing he’s heard of that takes less than three hours to complete and for someone to get back to work after! He sent no less than five messages over the next 24 hours asking for further updates to his order.)

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