Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Other Types Of Cancer On Society

| Rochester Hills, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(The PIN pads at my company automatically ask people if they’d like to make a donation to an organization, which changes monthly. Right now, it’s the American Cancer Society. To reiterate: the customer has to push a button correlating to either an amount or “Thanks, Not Today!” They are in no way required to talk to me about their choice.)

Customer: “Why in the world would anybody donate to the American Cancer Society?! Isn’t everybody just going to die of cancer anyway?”

Me: “Sadly, there is still a large percentage of people who do die from cancer—”

Customer: “Then what the h*** is the point?! It’s not like they’re going to cure anything!”

Me: “All of the children whose leukemia has been in remission for nine or more years appreciate your candor.”

(Customer huffed and stormed off.)

Dealing With A Spot Of Bother

| Bristol, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work in a small store, and I find that customers talk to the staff more than anywhere I’ve worked. I currently have a fairly large spot in the middle of my forehead, which I am too lazy to cover with makeup but no one has commented on all night. An hour before we close, this happens:)

Customer: “You look like you’ve been shot in the head!”

Me: “Mhm…”

Customer: “I’d know; I used to be a police officer.”

Me: *nods, clearly uncomfortable as he’s speaking quite loudly in a small store*

Customer: “Well, you ladies have a nice night now! Look after that bullet wound!” *laughs and leaves*

Coworker: *to me* “…I hope he gets shot in the head.”

Zip In And Zit Out

| KS, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I’m in the office when a woman and her two children, a boy and girl, come in. The girl is here for a background check so she can work at a local grocer. The woman and her son take a seat in the small waiting area, which is pretty much in front of my desk. As I begin typing the information, I overhear this.)

Woman: “Honey, what’s that on your nose?”

Son: “I dunno, a bump?”

Woman: “It’s a zit! Here, let me squeeze it.”

Son: “What! No, the last time you did, blood came out!”

Woman: “Just hold still. Let me pop it.”

(At this point, I’m typing frantically, not wanting them to stay here any longer than they have to. The girl acts nonchalant about the whole thing, pretty much ignoring them.)

Son: “But it hurts! And what if pus comes out?”

Woman: “It ain’t gonna hurt you; it’s just yellow stuff. Now, hold still…”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a bathroom right up the stairs behind you.”

Woman: “Oh, thanks, honey!”

(I handed the girl her paperwork, and they headed upstairs to the bathroom. It’s a one-person bathroom, but all three fit in at the same time. However, they decided to keep the door open so the WHOLE BUILDING heard their dialogue on popping the boy’s zit. When they left, I saw the boy with a huge crater on his nose and pus leaking out. This was probably the grossest thing I’ve ever had to witness!)

Understood The Concept Swimmingly

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We are at the fabric store waiting to have yardage cut. There are two people working the cutting counter, one is a trans-female. My seven-year-old son is with me.)

Son: “Mom! That lady is a MAN!”

Me: *dying inside* “Oh, my gosh; I am so sorry, ma’am. He… I… I am just so sorry!”

Employee: *to my son* “It’s okay, buddy. I was born a boy, but now I am a girl.”

Son: “You can do that?! Mom! I’m gonna be a shark!”

(Thank you so much, fabric store lady, for not being too offended!)

Big Mac Attack

, | Fond du Lac, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I’ll have a Big Mac, please.”

Customer’s Wife: “Oh! No onion on that.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, no onions. I’m really allergic to them.”

Me: “You know that there’s onions in the Mac Sauce, right?”

Customer: “Really? Wow, well that explains why I feel funny every time I eat a Big Mac…”

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