Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

A Very Cold Comment

| IN, USA | Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I have been working at a popular hardware store for about a year now. I’ve been loving it so far, especially when we have the garden center open. I always opt to be the cashier outside, since it’s usually much more lively out there and less stuffy than inside. In the winter, the garden associates have built a small shack around the register, which makes the cold bearable. With the start of a new year, and having already had some pleasantly warm days, the shack is taken down. However, just recently we’ve been hit by a cold snap. Even huddling next to my meager heater, I’m losing feeling in my fingers and toes, and constant wind gusts make it impossible to retain any sort of heat from the heater. Nevertheless, I’m doing all that I can to cheerfully help customers.)

Me: *teeth chattering* “Hi there! You guys set to check out?”

Husband: *with wife in tow* “Sure are; it’s freezing out here! I hope they’re paying you extra.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, I wish, but I’m actually happy with being out here. Even if cold, the air is fresh, and I don’t get to hear the same songs over and over.”

Husband: “Ha ha! Well, they should pay you more anyway. You have to be half frozen by now!”

(Before I can jokingly interject, the wife speaks up.)

Wife: “Oh, I’m sure she’s fine. She’s young, she’s got a big coat on, her own heater, plus she’s not small like our daughter. More insulated.”

(The husband’s mouth snaps shut. My joke vanishes, and I’m not sure what to say. I am just slightly overweight, and have long struggled with my weight, but I am by no means fat. I do have wide shoulders, being an active swimmer, which gives me an odd body shape, so I figure that’s why she made such an assumption. I usually brush off these comments, but nevertheless this one certainly dampened my spirit. I continue ringing them out in meek silence, while the wife keeps going, unaware that she is basically insulting me.)

Wife: “In the arctic, those seals get by just fine because of blubber. The cold can’t get to them. It’s a great insulator. They don’t even need a heater.”

(I finish ringing up their items, and the husband proceeds to pay. He mouths ‘I’m so sorry,’ and I smile meekly.)

Me: *handing him the receipt* “H-have a good one.”

Husband: “You, too… Sorry. Try to stay warm.”

Wife: “Oh, she’ll be f—”

(The husband grabbed her around the shoulders and started marching away.)

You’re His Number One Choice

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a vendor. As I work in my client retail stores, I find myself constantly explaining I am not a store employee and can’t ring people up, get their orders for them, etc. In this particular store, my work area is near the layaway desk and the restrooms. I am approached by an older man while I am filling helium balloons for my client.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “I don’t work for [Store], sir. Please push that button to page for help.”

Customer: “Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “I work for the balloon company. Please push the button.”

Customer: “I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME PEE!”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I need someone to watch my f****** cart while I use the men’s room!”

Me: *relieved* “Sure. Park it right over there. Nobody will bother it.”

You Obviously Don’t Have An Anime Nose

| Japan | Bizarre, Health & Body, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am a European girl working in a bar in Japan that advertises as being international. Foreign staff are often popular with Japanese customers who frequently tell us how “kawaii” (cute) we are. On this occasion I am talking to a couple of slightly drunk Japanese girls.)

Customer: “Aaaaaaah, you’re so cute!”

Me: *smiling, since we get this a lot* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Ah, you’re so cute! It’s because your face is small and you have a nose!”

Me: “Thank you…?”

(Apparently having a nose is somehow exciting!)

Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

Diapathetic

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Time

(I’m the head hostess on staff at an up-scale restaurant on a very busy Friday night. It’s not long before the restaurant is packed with customers waiting for tables. The hostesses are located at a desk directly in front of the front doors where patrons check in and get a pager, which is customary for any restaurant with high wait times. An angry female customer approaches our desk in the middle of the dinner rush. There is a long line of people waiting to check in.)

Customer: “How much longer is it going to be?! We’ve been waiting forty-five minutes!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. May I have your name or pager number so I can check where you are on the list?”

Customer: “What pager number? I never gave you my name and we never got a pager!”

Coworker: *recognizing customer* “Oh… uh…”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding, ma’am. Did you check in with the girls here when you arrived?”

Customer: “Well, yeah! I asked if tables were available and they said there was a wait! Nobody told me I had to give my name! My children are starving!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. I would have gotten your information, but you walked away when I informed you of our hour-long wait—”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous. We’ve been standing right over there watching you for the past hour! My son is diabetic!”

Me: “Again, I apologize for the miscommunication. Perhaps if you have a small snack for your son to tide him over, we can get you in as soon as possible.”

Customer: “What?! I don’t just carry food around with me! Can’t you bring him something from the kitchen?!”

(We got them in at the next available table, if only to make her go away!)

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