Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

An Answer That Isn’t Cheating

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body

(I am at the first appointment with my new family practitioner when he asks me one of those awkward questions that you don’t expect and don’t have any idea how to answer… except you don’t want to outright lie to your doctor. So, I say the first thing that pops into my head…)

Doctor: “Have you been sexually active within the last six months?”

Me: “Uh… not with anyone else?”

Physically Hilarious

| PA, USA | Health & Body, Math & Science

(I work at a science museum, running interactive exhibits that demonstrate scientific principles, although mostly it’s just fun and games. I’m currently running an exhibit that consists of a unicycle on a track 20 feet in the air; it’s held steady by a 300-pound weight underneath it, and rides simply like a bike with an elaborate seat belt. The bike does wobble, and we’re told to warn people of that.)

Me: “Once you put your feet on those peddles, you will feel the bike sway. That’s alright; it’s supposed to happen. With the weight underneath you, there’s no possible way you’ll fall.”

Guests: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure. If you fall, I’m going to be way more concerned about the laws of physics breaking.”

(Surprisingly, not many guests think I’m funny.)

Not Sue-ted To Parenting

| Pasco, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m in my check-stand when I see a customer’s child is standing on the cart’s seat.)

Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t have your child standing on the seat.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because he could fall and injure himself.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I can just sue you guys if he falls.”

(The customer then proceeded to shop with the child standing on the seat. Luckily the child didn’t fall.)

Making Visit Number Two

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(My job involves emptying the sanitary bins in women’s toilets, as well as replacing other hygiene-related matters. I’ve seen some random things left in bins, such as belts, cups, uneaten sandwiches etc. I arrive back at my yard when my boss comes up to me.)

Boss: “You’re going to have to go back to [Business] as they’ve just called saying one of their bins is full and smelling.”

Me: “It can’t be. I was there this morning.”

Boss: “I can only go by what they’ve said. Just unload the waste on your van and head over there, please.”

(I arrive on site, open up the bin, and immediately evacuate and call my boss.)

Me: “You’re not going to believe this, but someone’s actually pooped into the bin.”

Boss: “You’re joking?!”

Me: “Nope, just removed the lid and used it as a toilet.”

Completely Obamacareless

| VI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Money

(I work in client intake for a private pay home health care. We don’t take insurance of any kind and cater to a wealthier crowd in a home health agency. A woman calls up demanding care.)

Me: “Hello. this is [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Client: “Yes, I need to get set up with care in my home!”

Me: “Great, I will just need to get some information from you and get one of our nurses to come out and do an assessment with you.”

(I explain our pricing and our rates, I explain we are private pay only and do not accept insurance of any kind.)

Client: “Oh, this sounds wonderful! My doctor. told me you would all take wonderful care of me! Who do I have my doctor fax the orders for Medicaid to?”

Me: “Ma’am, as I have already stated to you we do not take Medicaid or any other insurance!”

Client: “Yeah, but my doctor wrote an order! You have to do it!”

Me: “I am sorry, but because we do not work with insurance companies a doctor can not just write an order and expect us to take it. We are not set up to even work with Medicaid.”

(I explain again how we work and how our payment system is set up etc.. making sure to let her know clearly that we do not take any insurance and that she will have to pay 100% out of pocket!)

Client: “Well, this is just stupid! You have to take care of me! I chose to call you! You cannot turn down a customer! I want care and you need to have a caregiver here by tomorrow or I will sue you!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry but we can’t do that. It’s not possible. Would you like the names and numbers of companies that take Medicaid and can provide you with a home health aid?”

Client: “No, I hate companies that take Medicaid! They all suck and the caregivers don’t work!”

Me: “So, you are okay with our pricing and paying for the care yourself?”

Client: “No, you will take my insurance or get sued!”

Me: *click*

(She called back for over two hours with me hanging up on her over and over again. She complained to her doctor, who called us and talked to me about how our services work. Turned out he had recommended us to this client as she does not qualify for in home health through Medicaid and told her the reason we could provide care is because we don’t take insurance and the client would be paying for the care herself!)