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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Has An A-Gender With The DNA

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I help manage a small clinic that does various types of tests. Today, we receive a very bizarre phone call.)

Client: “Hello. Do you do DNA testing?”

Me: “Yes, we do DNA testing. Do you need a test that is admissible in court?”

Client: “No. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “Yes. We do DNA tests.”

Client: “I get that. I just want to know if you do DNA testing.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but what in particular are you needing with the DNA? I guess I am just not understanding what in particular you need.”

Client: “You know. DNA. I need a test for DNA. I’m pregnant and I’m having a baby boy. I need a DNA test. I need you to tell me the gender of my baby.”

Me: “Oh. You just need a test to verify the gender?”

Client: “No. I need to find out if it’s a boy or girl. I’m pregnant with a baby boy and I need to know if it’s a boy or girl.”

Me: “Umm… I see. I’m sorry, ma’am, but we do not do gender tests here.”

Client: “But you do DNA. You can tell me the gender of my baby before it is born.”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. We can do DNA to find out who the father is but, we do not do gender-typing on an unborn baby. Your gynecologist can help with that.”

Client: “Oh. Thank you.”

(I’m still not entirely certain what it was she needed.)

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Should Have Done The Scan For Leftover Customers

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We close on Saturdays at 12 pm. It is 11:55 am and the last patient has left. I lock the doors and settle everything. The radiographer turns the machines off. I have my bag in my hand. It is now 12 pm.)

Customer: “Hello.”

(I look around alarmed. A woman slowly walks up to me.)

Me: “Ah, hello.”

Customer: “I saw Dr [Name] today and he said I can have an X-ray today.”

(I recall a call from Dr Name at 11 am and a patient stating the same thing arrived. I had no idea there was more than one.)

Me: “Yes, that was at eleven. When did you get here?”

(And how did she get through the locked doors?)

Customer: “I’ve been here since 11:30; I’ve just been in the bathroom.”

(The radiographer sees and gives me a panicked ‘everything is turned off already’ look and stands beside me.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. We just closed. I was expecting you earlier. We can do Monday, definitely!”

Customer: “The doctor said you can do me today.”

Me: “And we could have if you came up before closing. Unfortunately, we have turned off the X-ray machine and are unable to do any more scans.”

Customer: “My doctor said you would do it today! It’s urgent; I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Radiographer: “Even if we scanned you today there are no reports because we have no radiologist on the weekends.”

(The radiographer continued repeating what I was saying in every polite way as I notice Customer #2 at the front struggling with the door. She waves me over. I open the door a crack seeing she is distressed.)

Customer #2: “My doctor called and said you would do my scan for me!”

Me: “Unfortunately, we closed at 12 pm. All calls I got were around 11 am.”

Customer #2: “I need the scan done! He said you’re going to do it!”

(She grabs the door and tries to push it open, but my foot is lodged behind it and it doesn’t budge. Shocked at the aggression, I repeat once again we are closed and shut the door. She walks away in a huff. I return to the first customer.)

Me: “If it’s urgent I know the emergency department always has scanning available with reporting.”

(Customer #1 left, defeated. The radiographer and I sighed and headed home at 12:20 pm. Funny how every time I mention to patients that the emergency department is available after hours their scan is suddenly not as urgent.)

Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance

| Orillia, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(This happens to my coworker who is taking orders and doing cash on drive-thru window.)

Customer: *over speaker box* “You made my tea wrong! I want an extra large steeped tea with two milk and two sugar.”

Coworker: “I am very sorry about that. Come on up to the window and we will have that ready for you.”

(When the customer arrives she thrusts the tea at my coworker who accepts it.)

Customer: “You are not allowed to take garbage through the window. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(It is our policy not to accept trash if people try to hand it to us but often if a customer hands an improperly prepared beverage back we check the mark on the lid to see what was wrong.)

Coworker: “Oh. I am sorry about that.” *hands her the new drink*

Customer: *reading notices on the window* “You should have a sign on the window saying that you cannot take people’s trash!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we can only post notices approved by head office.”

Customer: “You should have an allergy warning for lactose! Your products contain lactose! You need to warn people!”

Coworker: “Um… sorry?”

Customer: “IT IS NOT ME THAT YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO!” *drives off*

Stunned Coworker: *to me* “Didn’t she have milk in her tea?”

Me: “Yeah. Apparently we now need to warn people that the milk or cream that they add to their drinks may contain lactose.”

(The next customer arrives at the window.)

Customer #2: “Did you just get yelled at?”

Coworker: “Yeah. She was mad that we didn’t have sign saying that some of our products may contain lactose.”

Customer #2: *stunned* “Are you serious?”

Coworker: *nods*

Customer: “What the f***? I’m lactose intolerant and I don’t need a bloody sign to tell me that!”

Me: “I am lactose intolerant, too.”

Customer: “And we know god d*** well that milk and cream have lactose! We just don’t order it! Who the h*** needs a sign to tell them that!”

Coworker: “Apparently she did because she ordered milk in her tea.”

Drink Up And Fall Down

| QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m picking up my boyfriend from the pub as he has had way too much to drink. I’m friends with the bartender working, and this night she has had to deal with a lot of drunk and unruly customers and is clearly over it. We’re chatting when we see a drunk man trip up the entry stairs, landing flat on his face. He gets back up and looks around to see if anyone saw.)

Bartender: *pointing at the man, deadpan* “No.”

(The man hung his head sadly, turned around, and actually left!)

A Hot Slice Of Kindness

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m delivering a pizza. An elderly woman answers the door. She opens the door part way, and it catches on one of her crutches. She struggles a little and manages to maneuver herself to get the door open. I see a cast on one ankle.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. I broke my ankle yesterday, and I’m still learning how to get around on these things.”

(She doesn’t appear to be in pain, or anything. Just obviously unfamiliar with the crutches.)

Me: “Aww, that’s too bad. Hopefully a pizza will help. That’ll be [price].”

(She starts fumbling with her purse while trying to balance on the crutches. Pretty quickly she is able to get to her cash. I give her the change. At this point, I can see her trying to figure out how she’s going to carry the pizza with her crutches.)

Me: “Would you like me to bring the pizza in for you?”

Customer: *immediate look of relief* “Could you just put it right here on the coffee table for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “That’s very nice of you.”

(The table is just a few steps inside the house. I set the pizza down and turn to go.)

Customer: “Hold on a moment. Please, let me give you a tip.”

(She reaches into her change purse and pulls out a single quarter and hands it to me. I can tell that she doesn’t tip very often, and that she sincerely thinks that the tip she’s giving me is a pretty big deal.)

Me: “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

(I could tell that she meant well, so I smiled and accepted the token in the spirit that she intended.)

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