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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Trying To Milk Some Tomorrow Out Of Today

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(The lady in line in front of me is making a complaint to a confused cashier. The lady is complaining about the milk her grandson got with his breakfast meal. Her husband is sitting at a table nearby with her grandson lying on top of the table holding his stomach and moaning.)

Lady: *slams the EMPTY milk bottle on the counter* “Do you people know how to read dates? This milk is expired and now my grandson is sick! This is your fault. If I have to take him to the ER, I’m sending the bill to you!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said the milk was expired? I checked it myself.”

Lady: “Well, you obviously don’t know what today’s date is then, idiot. Manager, now!”

Cashier: *literally running from the register* “Yes, ma’am!”

Lady: *turns to me* “These morons can’t get anything right. And they want $15 an hour!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Lady: “That idiot gave my grandson expired milk. I demand all of my money back and I’m sending the ER bill here. It is obvious my grandson has food poisoning!”

Manager: *in a patient and calm tone* “Ma’am, what is today’s date?”

Lady: “You don’t know the date either? Morons leading morons! It is [today’s date].”

Manager: “And what’s the date on that milk?”

Lady: “It says [tomorrow’s date]. See, it is expired! It smelled bad and had chunks in it. My grandson is so sick. I demand my money back now. Hurry up so I can take him to the hospital.”

Manager: “Yeah, not going to happen. You don’t get to insult my cashier or me when you are the one that can’t figure out that tomorrow comes AFTER today. The milk doesn’t expire until tomorrow, meaning it is still good today. Your grandson drank all of it so it couldn’t have had a strange smell or texture. And your grandson is likely sick from the three doughnuts you let him eat in addition to the croissant and hash browns. Get out.”

(The lady is literally dragged out of the store by her husband who is also dragging their grandson by his coat.)

Me: “Wow. Some people just suck. Don’t worry, not everyone is an a**hole.”

(I dropped $1 in the tip jar immediately and was as kind as possible to the terrified cashier. When the manager handed me my meal, I found a note saying “Thanks for not being an a**-hole!” with an extra doughnut in the bag.)

Really Rhea-lly Honest

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(An older gentleman comes into my section of the store late one afternoon. We’ve been very slow, so I’m excited to have something to do. The following conversation ensues:)

Me: *smiling* “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

Customer: *grumbles* “Eh, I’ve seen better days.”

Me: “Aw… it can’t be—”

Customer: “I woke up at four am with diarrhea.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But at least it wasn’t gonorrhea!”

Me: “…That’s true. Let me get you those copies.”

(After being in retail for three-and-a-half years, I honestly don’t know if some people have a filter!)

A Different Kind Of Stoned

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(As I walk past the restrooms heading back to the manager’s office, a man comes out of the men’s room.)

Customer: “I finally did! I finally passed that son of a gun!”

(The man holds up a wad of toilet paper… with a KIDNEY STONE on it.)

Me: “Oh, God.” *and I quickly duck into the office!*

Try To Keep Pace With The Questions

| NSW, Australia | Health & Body, Technology

(I work as a receptionist for a radiology practice, and we need to go through a list of safety questions before a patient can go in for their scan. An old woman and her daughter/carer walk in.)

Daughter: “Hello, my mother has an appointment today.”

Me: “No problem. First I need to go through a list of implants or devices she may have in her body, and I just need a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to whether she has them.”

Daughter: “No, no, no! My mother doesn’t have anything! She’s just as God made her!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is protocol. It’s important to ask each question…”

Daughter: “Don’t bother; the answer is “no” to everything.”

Me: “Okayyy…” *notes this down on form*

Patient: “Well, I do have a pacemaker. Will that be a problem?”

(She was about to get an MRI. That could kill a patient!)

Finally Sir(mised) The Situation

| Asheville, NC, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(I am a rather petite woman with a micro pixie; my hair is no longer than an inch. I am holding the doors open for returning guests to our hotel. The uniform I’m wearing is unisex cut, but it is still rather obvious that I’m female. Rounding out the group of guests is an elderly couple with walkers and a somewhat younger-than-them woman making sure they get along all right, probably a daughter. The elderly couple are obviously more focused on walking than me.)

Elderly Gentleman: “Thank you, sir.”

(Neither surprised nor offended, I just giggle and welcome him through the door. The somewhat younger woman behind him STARES at me until she’s passing through the door. It’s actually getting rather creepy and I’m not feeling more uncomfortable than amused.)

Woman: “You know, if you grew it out we’d know the difference.”

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