Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance

| Orillia, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(This happens to my coworker who is taking orders and doing cash on drive-thru window.)

Customer: *over speaker box* “You made my tea wrong! I want an extra large steeped tea with two milk and two sugar.”

Coworker: “I am very sorry about that. Come on up to the window and we will have that ready for you.”

(When the customer arrives she thrusts the tea at my coworker who accepts it.)

Customer: “You are not allowed to take garbage through the window. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(It is our policy not to accept trash if people try to hand it to us but often if a customer hands an improperly prepared beverage back we check the mark on the lid to see what was wrong.)

Coworker: “Oh. I am sorry about that.” *hands her the new drink*

Customer: *reading notices on the window* “You should have a sign on the window saying that you cannot take people’s trash!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we can only post notices approved by head office.”

Customer: “You should have an allergy warning for lactose! Your products contain lactose! You need to warn people!”

Coworker: “Um… sorry?”

Customer: “IT IS NOT ME THAT YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO!” *drives off*

Stunned Coworker: *to me* “Didn’t she have milk in her tea?”

Me: “Yeah. Apparently we now need to warn people that the milk or cream that they add to their drinks may contain lactose.”

(The next customer arrives at the window.)

Customer #2: “Did you just get yelled at?”

Coworker: “Yeah. She was mad that we didn’t have sign saying that some of our products may contain lactose.”

Customer #2: *stunned* “Are you serious?”

Coworker: *nods*

Customer: “What the f***? I’m lactose intolerant and I don’t need a bloody sign to tell me that!”

Me: “I am lactose intolerant, too.”

Customer: “And we know god d*** well that milk and cream have lactose! We just don’t order it! Who the h*** needs a sign to tell them that!”

Coworker: “Apparently she did because she ordered milk in her tea.”

Drink Up And Fall Down

| QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m picking up my boyfriend from the pub as he has had way too much to drink. I’m friends with the bartender working, and this night she has had to deal with a lot of drunk and unruly customers and is clearly over it. We’re chatting when we see a drunk man trip up the entry stairs, landing flat on his face. He gets back up and looks around to see if anyone saw.)

Bartender: *pointing at the man, deadpan* “No.”

(The man hung his head sadly, turned around, and actually left!)

A Hot Slice Of Kindness

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m delivering a pizza. An elderly woman answers the door. She opens the door part way, and it catches on one of her crutches. She struggles a little and manages to maneuver herself to get the door open. I see a cast on one ankle.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. I broke my ankle yesterday, and I’m still learning how to get around on these things.”

(She doesn’t appear to be in pain, or anything. Just obviously unfamiliar with the crutches.)

Me: “Aww, that’s too bad. Hopefully a pizza will help. That’ll be [price].”

(She starts fumbling with her purse while trying to balance on the crutches. Pretty quickly she is able to get to her cash. I give her the change. At this point, I can see her trying to figure out how she’s going to carry the pizza with her crutches.)

Me: “Would you like me to bring the pizza in for you?”

Customer: *immediate look of relief* “Could you just put it right here on the coffee table for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “That’s very nice of you.”

(The table is just a few steps inside the house. I set the pizza down and turn to go.)

Customer: “Hold on a moment. Please, let me give you a tip.”

(She reaches into her change purse and pulls out a single quarter and hands it to me. I can tell that she doesn’t tip very often, and that she sincerely thinks that the tip she’s giving me is a pretty big deal.)

Me: “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

(I could tell that she meant well, so I smiled and accepted the token in the spirit that she intended.)

What The Fructose

| Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working front of house at a family Italian restaurant. A customer is ordering.)

Customer: *after placing order* “…also, I’m fructose intolerant so I’m allergic to onion, garlic, and tomatoes and I am gluten intolerant as well.”

(I tell this to the chef and he laughs.)

Chef: “Then what the f*** is she doing in an Italian restaurant!?”

(He then makes her a super basic salad that’s essentially lettuce with balsamic vinegar and some carrot.)

Put Your Foot In Your Mouth

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(The customer has been generally rude and unpleasant while I ring up her purchases, with lots of whining and complaints all the tough things she’s done, shopping and sightseeing, and about things my store has no control over, like how far it is from the train station. Finally I’ve had enough.)

Customer: “I’ve had to do far too much walking. I can’t believe there weren’t more places to sit down in [Museum next door].” *condescendingly* “You have NO idea how much my feet hurt.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve been standing for eight hours and am not allowed to sit down or have breaks, so I might have some idea.” *sugary sweet voice and huge fake smile* “Here are your purchases and a receipt. I hope your rough day gets SO much better!”