Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Switching That Mouthing Off, Off

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work as a transporter at a hospital, pushing patients to tests and operations and the like. After a while, you get to be a pretty good judge of character — who’s going to be a crank, who’s scared, who needs cheering up, who wants to be left alone. I am picking up a patient for surgery who is probably 16 or 17 and is accompanied by his mom and step-dad. I don’t know what he is scheduled for, but I get the feeling that he is nervous and covering by mouthing off. But boy, is he mouthing off. This kid is being rude and disrespectful to both of his parents, but especially his step-dad. Back-talk, cussing, yack yack yack. I keep my mouth shut, because it’s not my business. I only have to spend another ten minutes with this kid and then I’m off to the next person. We get on the big patient elevator, the four of us with me behind his wheelchair (patients aren’t allowed to just walk around), and the parents off in front and off to the side against the walls. The patient is still just laying into his step-dad and starts to make fun of the crease between his step-dad’s eyebrows, comparing the deep furrow to a part of the female anatomy.)

Patient: “F***, look at you and that f****** stupid c*** on your forehead, haha!

Mom: *glancing at me* “Shh, stop it! You’ll offend the transporter!”

Patient: *with a sneer* “Yeah, whatever. She’s got one, too.”

(I’ve had enough. I lean over his shoulder so he can look me dead in the eye and point to his stepdad’s forehead.)

Me: “Yeah, and if you keep up with a mouth like that, that is as close as you’ll ever get to one.”

(The elevator went dead silent for a beat and then his parents started laughing so hard that we almost missed our floor. Except for a sheepish “Yeah, true,” the kid was silent the rest of the way to the OR.)

A Cancer On Society

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(Since it’s nearing the Christmas season, we are currently doing donations for a cancer foundation. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer earlier this year.)

Me: “Your total is $[total]. Would you like to donate a dollar to [Cancer Foundation] today?”

Customer: “No, I would not.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.” *hits ‘no’ to proceed to payment screen and am about to tell the customer she can swipe her card*

Customer: “I won’t donate because there’s already a cure for cancer. It’s the biggest conspiracy out there.” *laughs*

(All I could do was just fake laugh, smile, and wish her a good day. If you don’t want to donate, just say no. That’s it!)

A Van Man With A Plan

| WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(On my way back to the break room, I see an older lady looking very befuddled out the front door.)

Me: “Is something the matter, ma’am?”

Older Lady: “Hmm, yes, is that allowed?”

(She points out the door. I see that a large van parked on the ramp that leads up to the front of the store.)

Me: “No, it is not.”

(I walk to the car and see that a man, who must be in his 80s, is on the phone, and has a giant head wound that is bleeding and has been bandaged with duct tape.)

Me: “Sir, I need you to move your car… Er, better yet, maybe you shouldn’t be driving at all.”

Older Man: *ignores me and instead starts speaking louder on the phone* “I need to write down all of this. You want me to get what and what?!”

Me: “Sir, please! You need to get out of the car so we can assist you!”

Older Man: *finally turning to me* “You want me to move?!”

Me: “Yes!”

Older Man: “All right, I’ll park somewhere else!” *goes back to phone conversation*

Me: “Uh, sir…”


(I do not like being yelled at and I know I’m not good at holding my tongue, so I decide it’s best for my boss to talk to him and go on break. Later the man comes up to the check stand with one single drink.)

Older Man: “You lot didn’t have what I needed.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, what were you looking for?”

Older Man: *starts to mutter* “YOU NEED TO HAVE MORE STUFF!”

(He then proceeded to hobble out on a slightly broken cane. I tried to convince my boss otherwise, but he decided that the elder, disoriented, clearly concussed man would be just fine on the road.)

You Did A Great (Dane) Service Today

| Long Island, NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am the receptionist at a busy veterinarian’s office. I answer a call from a gentleman who was trying to make an appointment:)

Pet Owner: “I’d like to make an appointment for the vet to see my three dogs.”

Me: “I have an opening two weeks from today.”

Pet Owner: “Gee, I was hoping for something much sooner.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but seeing three dogs takes a longer amount of time, and I don’t see a block of time to accommodate you until then. What seems to be the problem?”

Pet Owner: “My dogs have diarrhea. All three of them.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; that must be difficult for you.”

Pet Owner: “It sure is. My dogs are Great Danes.”

Me: “…bring them in at 6:00 pm today. We’ll stay open.”

(Great Danes are the world’s tallest dogs, with males reaching heights of nearly three feet. (Scooby Doo of the cartoon is a Great Dane.) I knew by giving that poor man an appointment that day I probably saved an entire forest of trees that would have been made into paper towels. The dogs recovered quickly.)

In Need Of An Empathy Sandwich

| Columbia, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working as a manager on the night shift at a sandwich restaurant. One of my delivery drivers has just been involved in a very serious car accident just half a block from the store. I’m walking back into the store after watching the paramedics pull him out of the wreckage and I’m understandably shaken. As I come in, I notice a customer standing at the counter.)

Me: “Have you been helped yet?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for my sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry for your wait. I had to step out for a moment because one of our drivers was just hurt in a wreck on the corner.”

Customer: *very angry* “Well, that’s not my problem! That’s what the ambulance is for.”

(For a moment, I’m just stunned by the utter callousness of the statement. Then I open the register and pull out a refund on the customer’s order.)

Me: “Here’s your money back. We will not be serving you tonight or ever again. And, if someone you care about is ever hurt, I hope they are surrounded by people with far more empathy than you.”

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