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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 14

| Burnsville, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I manage a retail store that does engravings. When customers want something done we go to a little counter, stand opposite the customer, and explain pricing. I am due to have my daughter any day when this happens. I’m tall and have always been really skinny.)

Nice Young Couple: “We want to get [Item] with [Name] on it.”

Me: “Oh, that’s such a cute name!”

(I explain the pricing. All is going well.)

Woman: “I’m six months along and feel like a whale! How far are you?”

Me: “I’m nine months. Actually, the doctor said I should have popped a week ago. When I’m done working, I walk the Mall of America like a crazy person because a manager over there swears it helps induce labor!”

Woman: “You’re nine months!? Why are you so small?!”

Me: “I don’t know. I’m just naturally skinny but the doctor predicted that she would at least be seven pounds or more.”

Woman: *suddenly incredibly angry* “I’m only six months and bigger than you! That’s not fair!”

(At that point the woman went savage and actually tried to climb over the counter to hit me. Her boyfriend grabbed her and dragged her out of the store kicking and screaming “It’s not fair!” while giving me a look that said “I’m so sorry!” Two days later I got my doctor to give me a note saying I couldn’t work anymore while pregnant because of blood pressure issues. I had my baby a week later and quit when my maternity leave was up. I have never, and will never, go back to retail. I have a lot of respect for people that stick it out. You don’t get paid enough.)

Related:

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 13

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 12

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11

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A Shocking Inaction At The Contraction

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(A heavily pregnant woman comes to the counter. She begins her order, but pauses to clutch her stomach while groaning. It is a Friday afternoon.)

Me: “Are you all right?”

Customer: “Yep, just having a contraction!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: *resumes ordering, pauses to groan* “I have a pre-admission on Tuesday. She’d better wait til then!”

Me: “I don’t think your baby is gonna wait!”

Customer: “Oh, she will. It always takes forever. I have three other kids and they all took a few days.”

Me: *puts order together and hands it to her* “Well, good luck!”

Customer: *groans, clutches stomach* “Tuesday’s the day!”

Coworker: *after customer has left* “I bet we’ll see her on the news tonight having a baby in the car-park.”

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Got No Tat For Tit

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(It’s a slow day at the retail store where I work and I have no one in line at my cash register. One of my managers walks over to my till.)

Manager: “Turn your light off. I need to talk to you for a moment.”

(I turn my light off, a little nervous.)

Me: “Am I in trouble or something?”

Manager: “Okay, well, no, not really, but I kinda have to talk to you anyway because it’s policy.”

Me: “Okay?”

Manager: “We had a customer complain to us about your shirt.”

(The shirt I’m wearing is within our uniform regulations. It’s a v-neck that doesn’t show any cleavage, although it is flattering to my figure.)

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Well, he said that your shirt was too low-cut and it was inappropriate and that, when you leaned over, he could see your tattoo down your shirt…”

(I stare at my manager for several long seconds, dumbfounded.)

Me: “[Manager], I don’t have tattoos ANYWHERE.”

Manager: *laughs* “Y’see, I didn’t think you would!”

(Satisfied that she has followed through on our policy, my manager leaves it at that. Almost a year later, I’m wearing the same shirt and am about to open one of the registers. Our registers are set up in lines where the cashier is facing their customers on the opposite side of the belt, but behind them is where the line for the next register is. I start to reorganize the register because it’s messy when a man in the line behind me mumbles something.)

Customer: “…your shirt.”

(Thinking it was something nice, I politely smile to the customer.)

Customer: “You look like a whore!”

(My face falls flat when all of a sudden it hits me — this is the same man who complained about my shirt before. Without opening my till, I walk to a manager and explain what happened. After my manager goes to confront the customer and finds he’s already left, my manager comes back to me.)

Manager: “Sorry about that. That guy’s been saying stuff about the female cashiers for several months now, regardless of what they’re wearing. We try to kick him out when we find him.”

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Obama-Careless, Part 4

| MI, USA | Health & Body, Politics

(I’m an accountant for a retirement community. A long-time resident is moving from our condos to our skilled nursing unit, and I’m helping her daughter navigate the many financial issues related to that. Specifically, I’m discussing Medicaid, which will be paying for Mom’s room in nursing.)

Me: “To be eligible for Medicaid, your mother will have to have less than two thousand dollars in liquid assets. So she’ll need to pay for part of the first month out of pocket to get down to that level.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand bucks? That’s not much money. How is she supposed to live on that little?”

Me: “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it should cover all personal expenses, and Medicaid will cover the bulk of the charges for her care here.”

Daughter: “You know, I wish someone would overthrow the government and get rid of stupid rules like that.”

Me: “If someone overthrows the government, Medicaid will disappear entirely and you’ll be responsible for a bill of almost nine thousand dollars every month.”

Daughter: “Less than two thousand sounds good.”

Related:
Obama-Careless, Part 3
Obama-Careless, Part 2
Obama-Careless

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Gone Acrobatty

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m helping a woman and her toddler, and the computer is taking an unusually long time processing her order.)

Me: “Sorry, it’ll just be a while.”

Woman: “No problem.” *to toddler* “I’ll just put you down, okay?”

(As she bends over, I see an impatient-looking couple behind her. As she fusses with her child, the couple does an acrobatic trick that makes it look like they’re making out on TOP on the woman, from my angle. The woman then straightens up, not noticing, and they straighten up, too. This happens over and over a few times. The toddler has gone quiet. Finally, the printer prints out the woman’s receipt.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Woman: “Thanks!” *to toddler* “Come on.”

(They left, the toddler staring at the couple with a grin. The couple acted like nothing strange had happened. Maybe they really were acrobats?)

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