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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Get The Man In Brown Before She Becomes The Woman In Brown

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(During my first month working at my father’s sports bar I encounter a super-drunk woman in the bathroom while I am cleaning.)

Customer: *hugs me, speaking in a toddler voice*  “Can you help me? When older girls like me drink we get silly. I went to go potty and I sat down to go pee-pee and I forgot to pull down my undies.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Just look for the man in brown and say I need him.”

Me: “I think I’m gonna need more of a description than that.”

Customer: “MY HUSBAND! HE’S IN BROWN!”

Me: *incredibly startled* “Okay, can I have a name or a table number?”

(Eventually I tracked down the man, guided him to his pee-soaked wife, and got them out of the restaurant.)

Coworker: “Did I just hear that some lady pissed herself and then hugged you?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, you did.”

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Not Shackled By Those Wristbands

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular

(The place I work at has various activities, including go-karts, mini-golf, and laser tag. We have a special on Mondays, where you can get a wristband to get unlimited activities for that day. It starts raining, which means our go-karts are closed. A woman comes up to me.)

Customer: “Ma’am? Is there someone I can talk to about the wristbands?”

Me: “Uhm, I can get a manager. Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Okay, I’ve got two boys with Aspergers, and we can’t wait in line for laser tag. It’s raining, so we can’t do anything outside. I don’t wanna be a jerk but is there any way we can get some sort of compensation or refund?”

Me: “I can call a manager over for you; they’d have the authority to figure something out.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m from out of town and don’t know the policies here. Do you know of anything in the area that would be okay for them?”

Me: “Oh, of course. My brother’s a high-functioning autistic, so I’ve got a pretty good idea.” *lists a few places*

Customer: “Oh, my god, thank you! I’ve tried a few different places and it’s just been a nightmare for them.”

(My manager comes over. She ends up giving the woman some tokens for our arcade. The customer stops before leaving.)

Customer: “And give your employee here a raise. She’s been a real help for me!” *walks off*

(I didn’t get a raise, but I did get a free lunch!)

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Just A Spoon Full Of Idiocy Helps The Medicine Go Down

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Popular

(A patient has come in to be evaluated for an anxiety attack. He has a history of this in his chart, and has been prescribed medication for the condition.)

Doctor: “So, I see you’ve been here before for anxiety in the past. Was today similar to your previous visits?”

Patient: “Yeah. It’s just that I’ve been getting more and more anxious lately.”

Doctor: “When did your symptoms start getting worse?”

Patient: “Oh, about three months ago when I stopped taking my anxiety medications.”

Doctor: “So… you are saying you stopped taking your medication and now your symptoms are getting worse?”

Patient: “Yeah. I read somewhere that pills are bad for you, so I just stopped taking everything.”

Doctor: “I… Well, if you won’t take any medications, what exactly were you hoping we could do for you today?”

Patient: “Fix me! But, like, without medicine?”

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That Was The Last Straw

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working the lobby of my work place during a lunch rush. A beverage station is getting messy and low on supplies, so I am cleaning it up and restocking the lids. A woman fills her cup up and I am in the way of the lids.)

Me: “Sorry about being in the way. Just doing some cleaning and stocking. Here you are.” *I hand the woman a lid for her beverage along with a straw*

Woman: *with disgust* “Eww, I don’t want that. Your filthy little fingers were all over that. I’ll just help myself, thank you.”

Me: “Oh… uhh, all right…”

(It was difficult to not make a sarcastic retort about how I had to touch all the lids anyway since they don’t stock themselves, but I constrained myself. I can understand germaphobes, for which I always take the extra precaution of washing my hands before handling anything that customers have access to, but no need to be rude.)

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Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”

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