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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Just A Spoon Full Of Idiocy Helps The Medicine Go Down

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Popular

(A patient has come in to be evaluated for an anxiety attack. He has a history of this in his chart, and has been prescribed medication for the condition.)

Doctor: “So, I see you’ve been here before for anxiety in the past. Was today similar to your previous visits?”

Patient: “Yeah. It’s just that I’ve been getting more and more anxious lately.”

Doctor: “When did your symptoms start getting worse?”

Patient: “Oh, about three months ago when I stopped taking my anxiety medications.”

Doctor: “So… you are saying you stopped taking your medication and now your symptoms are getting worse?”

Patient: “Yeah. I read somewhere that pills are bad for you, so I just stopped taking everything.”

Doctor: “I… Well, if you won’t take any medications, what exactly were you hoping we could do for you today?”

Patient: “Fix me! But, like, without medicine?”

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That Was The Last Straw

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working the lobby of my work place during a lunch rush. A beverage station is getting messy and low on supplies, so I am cleaning it up and restocking the lids. A woman fills her cup up and I am in the way of the lids.)

Me: “Sorry about being in the way. Just doing some cleaning and stocking. Here you are.” *I hand the woman a lid for her beverage along with a straw*

Woman: *with disgust* “Eww, I don’t want that. Your filthy little fingers were all over that. I’ll just help myself, thank you.”

Me: “Oh… uhh, all right…”

(It was difficult to not make a sarcastic retort about how I had to touch all the lids anyway since they don’t stock themselves, but I constrained myself. I can understand germaphobes, for which I always take the extra precaution of washing my hands before handling anything that customers have access to, but no need to be rude.)

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Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”

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Can’t Handle A Car But Can Handle A Conversation

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I am an apparently able-bodied person who suffers from an invisible disability which renders me medically unable to operate a motor vehicle. The following conversation takes place today at my job.)

Customer: “How does this car handle?”

Me: “Couldn’t say, sir. I don’t drive.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t drive?”

Me: “Just that, sir. I’ve never driven an automobile. Consequently, I’m unable to tell you how that car handles. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** are you working here for? You sure picked a stupid place to get a job!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but disabled people have to earn a living, too. Will there be anything else?”

Customer: *embarrassed, blushing and refusing to make eye contact* “Uh, um, ahhhh. I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Me: *flat rattlesnake eyes and coldly monotone voice* “No, sir. You didn’t. Good day.”

(The word ‘slink’ is so seldom used these days and even more seldom seen in action…)

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Sadly She’s Not Kidding Around

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m 22, but I look much younger and am commonly guessed to be about 12 or so. I’m working with an older coworker when a lady comes in and notices me. A lady customer looks between my coworker and I as he rings her up, smiling. She notices my name tag.)

Lady: “Well, hello there, Mr. [My Name]; don’t you look awfully dapper today!”

Me: *I smile politely, ignoring the obvious tone of ‘I am talking with a child’ in her voice* “Thank you, ma’am.”

Lady: “Did you pick out your outfit all by yourself today?”

Me: “…Yes, ma’am, I did.”

Lady: *turns attention back to my coworker and gestures between the two of us* “So, is he your nephew, then, or?”

Coworker: “No… he’s my coworker.”

(Her face dropped and she realized her mistake. I awkwardly shuffled away. Afterwards my coworker commented that he understood why I hated when people mistook me to be so much younger. She thought it was bring your kid to work day…)

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