Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”


Can’t Handle A Car But Can Handle A Conversation

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I am an apparently able-bodied person who suffers from an invisible disability which renders me medically unable to operate a motor vehicle. The following conversation takes place today at my job.)

Customer: “How does this car handle?”

Me: “Couldn’t say, sir. I don’t drive.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t drive?”

Me: “Just that, sir. I’ve never driven an automobile. Consequently, I’m unable to tell you how that car handles. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then, what the h*** are you working here for? You sure picked a stupid place to get a job!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but disabled people have to earn a living, too. Will there be anything else?”

Customer: *embarrassed, blushing and refusing to make eye contact* “Uh, um, ahhhh. I, uh, I didn’t know.”

Me: *flat rattlesnake eyes and coldly monotone voice* “No, sir. You didn’t. Good day.”

(The word ‘slink’ is so seldom used these days and even more seldom seen in action…)


Sadly She’s Not Kidding Around

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m 22, but I look much younger and am commonly guessed to be about 12 or so. I’m working with an older coworker when a lady comes in and notices me. A lady customer looks between my coworker and I as he rings her up, smiling. She notices my name tag.)

Lady: “Well, hello there, Mr. [My Name]; don’t you look awfully dapper today!”

Me: *I smile politely, ignoring the obvious tone of ‘I am talking with a child’ in her voice* “Thank you, ma’am.”

Lady: “Did you pick out your outfit all by yourself today?”

Me: “…Yes, ma’am, I did.”

Lady: *turns attention back to my coworker and gestures between the two of us* “So, is he your nephew, then, or?”

Coworker: “No… he’s my coworker.”

(Her face dropped and she realized her mistake. I awkwardly shuffled away. Afterwards my coworker commented that he understood why I hated when people mistook me to be so much younger. She thought it was bring your kid to work day…)


Intelligence Is Not In Their Blood

, | Morinville, AB, Canada | Health & Body

(A friend and I are at a local trade show, and there’s a booth from the blood clinic there. The nurse is explaining what they do, and even do a quick blood test so you can learn your blood type. As we’re chatting with her, she tell us about this one person who came by her booth earlier that day to get tested.)

Man: “Dude, I hope I have the rarest blood type!”

Nurse: “If you do, I’m going to throw you in my car and take you over to the clinic to donate a pint right now!”

Man: “WHAT? Why would you do that to me?”

Nurse: “Think about it. The rarest blood type is the type we need the most.”

Man: “Oh. Then, I hope I have the most common type.”


Closing Time Came Earlier For You

| Solihull, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular, Time

(I am on the shop floor with my mum, who has come to meet me on my lunch break. Due to a combination of the hot weather and having skipped breakfast, out of nowhere I faint. My mum puts me in the recovery position and some of my colleagues start to come over to see if I’m OK. Amidst the commotion, a customer comes over, sees my uniform, and bends over to where I am LYING ON THE FLOOR.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what time do you close today?”

Me: *too woozy and shocked to think of another response* “4:30.”

(The customer walked off without even a thank you.)

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