Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Hit The Nail On The Head

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(A couple of months ago, the replacement crown on my front tooth fell off as I was habitually biting on one of my fingernails. I set up an appointment for the next day to get it replaced.)

Assistant: “So, what were you doing when it fell out?”

Me: “Well, I was biting my nail…”

(I look over and see a look of horror on the woman’s face. I’m very aware that a lot of people find this habit disgusting, and she was elderly, so I just assumed it was a combination of the two.)

Me: “I know. I know. It’s a bad habit…”

Assistant: “Why would you do that?!”

Me: “…I’m sorry? It’s just biting my nails.”

(I lift up my thumb to my mouth and making a biting motion, and she sighs in relief.)

Assistant: “You mean your FINGER nails! Oh, thank goodness.”

Me: “What did you think I meant?”

Assistant: “NAILS. Like you hit with a hammer.”

Me: “WHAT?! Why would anyone just be biting on nails?”

Assistant: “We get a lot of people…”

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity

GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I manage a large fast food chain that uses sea salt on their French fries. A customer orders her fries with no salt.)

Me: *handing her order to her* “Here’s your order. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “There’s no salt on these fries, right? I hope so. I’m allergic to salt!”

Me: *staring blankly* “Ma’am, do you want me to remake your burger then? We salt the patties. In fact, there is salt on everything that goes on your sandwich.”

Customer: “No. I’m only allergic to sea salt.”

Me: “You do realize that they’re both just sodium chloride, right? In fact, table salt has iodine added and is usually bleached, so if you had an allergy it would be more apt to be…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *grabs ketchup packets and storms out*

Me: *I grab a ketchup pack and begin reading packet ingredients to a coworker* “…tomato paste… corn syrup… sea salt… Huh, would you look at that. They put sea salt in the ketchup.”

Coworker: “Yeah, do you know what the clinical term is for someone who is allergic to salt?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Coworker: “Dead.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6

, | San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a combo number three, please.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like that combo?”

Customer: “No tomatoes! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes!”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I’ll personally ensure there are no tomatoes on your sandwich. Now, what size did you want your combo?”

Customer: “Eh, medium, I guess. Oh! Can I get extra ketchup on that?”

Me: “…Sir, ketchup is made from tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “Sir, you’re allergic to tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s why I ordered it without tomatoes!”

Me: “But, you want extra ketchup—”

Customer: *interrupts, but still clueless* “Yeah!”

Me: “Which is made from tomatoes…”

Customer: “…”

(I gave him his total, he paid, and I served him his sandwich exactly as he ordered it.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

Their Brain Is Still Warming Up

, | WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(It is fall so it’s chilly but not freezing outside.)

Me: *wearing muscle shirt and shorts*

Customer: “You must be warm blooded!”

Faker Moaning About Faking

| Devon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(I use a wheelchair. The shop has customer wheelchairs marked very clearly with the name of the centre the shop is in. I’m supposed to be working on tills, but due to being short staffed, I’m helping out with stacking the shelves.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “I was wondering if I could use that wheelchair?”

(I assume she meant a wheelchair, rather than the one I’m currently sitting in.)

Me: “Of course. If you head over to the door, the security guy there can get one for you.”

Customer: “You want me to walk over?”

Me: “I’ll go and ask him. Feel free to take a seat, if it’s more comfortable for you.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine, thanks. I guess I’ll go ask myself. I mean, if I have to use one of those ugly things.”

Me: “Yeah, they’re not the best are they? But it’s really no trouble for me to go over there, if you want me to.”

(The customer shakes her head, and sits on one of the stacking stools, Maybe ten minutes later, she’s still sitting there, and all I’ve got left to shelve are things that are usually way above my head. Since I’m having a pretty good day, I figure what the hell, and start standing for short periods of time so shelve the lighter stuff, something I’m more than capable of doing.)

Customer: “How dare you!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How dare you sit around in that chair all day, and then start standing up with boxes just like anyone else? People like you make my life so much harder, you know that?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what—”

Customer: “I have an invisible disability. People like you who go around faking for sympathy and making everyone think I’m a faker too.”

Me: “I have an invisible disability. Hence the chair.”

Customer: “Well, then you shouldn’t be standing up, should you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but… you walked into the shop.”

Customer: “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

Me: “You don’t?”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

(I radioed my manager over. She took a while to get there, so I carried on shelving. While I’m standing up, and my back is turned, the customer took my wheelchair and vanished off into the shop. At a loss for what to do, I took the stool she vacated and waited for my manager to show up, while the security guy at the door – visible from my aisle – took off after the woman. I sat there for almost an hour until security finally tracked the woman down in another shop in the centre. They tried for a while to get her to give my chair back, all while she accused them of discrimination, saying they think she’s an idiot who can’t tell the difference between a centre chair and mine because she’s disabled. Eventually, once security had radioed police, she gave it back. She was still sitting on the floor, yelling about fakers ruining her life, when the police arrived.)