Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.


Get The Man In Brown Before She Becomes The Woman In Brown

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(During my first month working at my father’s sports bar I encounter a super-drunk woman in the bathroom while I am cleaning.)

Customer: *hugs me, speaking in a toddler voice*  “Can you help me? When older girls like me drink we get silly. I went to go potty and I sat down to go pee-pee and I forgot to pull down my undies.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Just look for the man in brown and say I need him.”

Me: “I think I’m gonna need more of a description than that.”


Me: *incredibly startled* “Okay, can I have a name or a table number?”

(Eventually I tracked down the man, guided him to his pee-soaked wife, and got them out of the restaurant.)

Coworker: “Did I just hear that some lady pissed herself and then hugged you?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, you did.”


Not Shackled By Those Wristbands

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular

(The place I work at has various activities, including go-karts, mini-golf, and laser tag. We have a special on Mondays, where you can get a wristband to get unlimited activities for that day. It starts raining, which means our go-karts are closed. A woman comes up to me.)

Customer: “Ma’am? Is there someone I can talk to about the wristbands?”

Me: “Uhm, I can get a manager. Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Okay, I’ve got two boys with Aspergers, and we can’t wait in line for laser tag. It’s raining, so we can’t do anything outside. I don’t wanna be a jerk but is there any way we can get some sort of compensation or refund?”

Me: “I can call a manager over for you; they’d have the authority to figure something out.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m from out of town and don’t know the policies here. Do you know of anything in the area that would be okay for them?”

Me: “Oh, of course. My brother’s a high-functioning autistic, so I’ve got a pretty good idea.” *lists a few places*

Customer: “Oh, my god, thank you! I’ve tried a few different places and it’s just been a nightmare for them.”

(My manager comes over. She ends up giving the woman some tokens for our arcade. The customer stops before leaving.)

Customer: “And give your employee here a raise. She’s been a real help for me!” *walks off*

(I didn’t get a raise, but I did get a free lunch!)


Just A Spoon Full Of Idiocy Helps The Medicine Go Down

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Popular

(A patient has come in to be evaluated for an anxiety attack. He has a history of this in his chart, and has been prescribed medication for the condition.)

Doctor: “So, I see you’ve been here before for anxiety in the past. Was today similar to your previous visits?”

Patient: “Yeah. It’s just that I’ve been getting more and more anxious lately.”

Doctor: “When did your symptoms start getting worse?”

Patient: “Oh, about three months ago when I stopped taking my anxiety medications.”

Doctor: “So… you are saying you stopped taking your medication and now your symptoms are getting worse?”

Patient: “Yeah. I read somewhere that pills are bad for you, so I just stopped taking everything.”

Doctor: “I… Well, if you won’t take any medications, what exactly were you hoping we could do for you today?”

Patient: “Fix me! But, like, without medicine?”


That Was The Last Straw

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working the lobby of my work place during a lunch rush. A beverage station is getting messy and low on supplies, so I am cleaning it up and restocking the lids. A woman fills her cup up and I am in the way of the lids.)

Me: “Sorry about being in the way. Just doing some cleaning and stocking. Here you are.” *I hand the woman a lid for her beverage along with a straw*

Woman: *with disgust* “Eww, I don’t want that. Your filthy little fingers were all over that. I’ll just help myself, thank you.”

Me: “Oh… uhh, all right…”

(It was difficult to not make a sarcastic retort about how I had to touch all the lids anyway since they don’t stock themselves, but I constrained myself. I can understand germaphobes, for which I always take the extra precaution of washing my hands before handling anything that customers have access to, but no need to be rude.)


Turning The Age All The Way Up To Eleven

| FL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(A man in his 70s walks in the front door. He seems very friendly as we exchange hellos.)

Customer: “Young man, can you help me find some decongestant?”

Me: “Absolutely, sir, follow me!”

(I show him where it is and ring it up for him and send him on his way. He comes back in three minutes later.)

Me: “You’re back!”

Customer: “Yes, I’m afraid I have to return this. It’s for 12 and over.”

Me: *not really understanding the problem* “Oh, no problem. But aren’t you over 12?”

Customer: “No, I’m 11.”

Me: “You’re 11?! Jeez, you need to lay off the cigarettes or something…”

Customer: “No, no, I misspoke!” *laughing* “The medicine is for my 11-year-old dog! I showed this to my wife and she said she wouldn’t give him adult medicine!”

Me: “Oh! Yeah, let me return the money for you and show you where the children’s decongestant is.”

Page 13/157First...1112131415...Last