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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Might Need Some Hearing Aid Too

| Yorkton, SK, Canada | Health & Body, Popular

(This takes place in my house, which is not a business of any kind. I get a phone call about mid-afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [Optometrist]?”

Me: “No, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “It’s not [Doctor]’s office?”

Me: “No, it’s my house. No doctors work here.”

Caller: “But I need to make an appointment.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Caller: “But I get my glasses with [Doctor]!”

Me: “But this isn’t a doctor’s office; it’s my house.”

Caller: “Can I make an appointment?”

Me: “No, it’s not an office. It’s my house. I’m not an optometrist.”

Caller: “Where are you?”

Me: “Yorkton?”

Caller: “But [Doctor] isn’t in Yorkton!”

Me: “Right, you called the wrong number.”

Caller: “But I called [Doctor]!”

Me: But this is my house. No optometrists work here. You called the wrong number.”

Caller: “I need new glasses!”

Me: “I can’t help you. Maybe double check the number?”

Caller: “You’re sure this isn’t [Doctor]?”

Me: “Pretty sure.”

Caller: “Well sorry for bothering you. I was sure I called [Doctor].”

Me: “No biggie.”

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Inject Some Common Sense Next Time

| Rocklin, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular, Time

(In the large multi-specialty clinic where I work, our endocrinologist sometimes orders a complex test that involves getting blood drawn at our lab downstairs, getting an injection in our clinic immediately afterwards, and then getting blood drawn again right after to see how the body reacted to the injection. The timing has to be very precise and this is all explained to the patient beforehand. My coworker sees that a patient has checked in for her injection up at the front desk, so she prepares the injection and goes to call the patient back — but the patient is nowhere to be found.)

Coworker: *to the receptionist* “Did you see where [Patient] went?”

Receptionist: “No, she just… disappeared.”

(My coworker returns to the back office and waits to see if the patient shows up. After 20 minutes with no sign of her, she calls the patient. I can’t hear their conversation, but as my coworker is speaking, she facepalms dramatically and rolls her eyes at me. When she hangs up…)

Coworker: “So, I asked her where she went, and she said, ‘Oh, I had some things to do, and I’d been waiting a while, so I went home.'”

Me: “But she’d only been waiting like 10 minutes! And she already got the first blood draw done!”

Coworker: “I know! And now this injection is wasted. I told her her insurance would probably make her pay for it, and she just laughed it off and said she didn’t think so. Bet she won’t be laughing when she sees her bill.”

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Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 3

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular, Transportation

(The clinic where I work performs DMV physicals to certify that truck drivers are physically fit for their job. All the doctors do them, but if a patient drives out of state, they must be certified by the one doctor who performs out-of-state physicals. A driver comes in on a day when the out-of-state doctor is not working.)

Receptionist: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Driver: “I need a physical.” *throws DMV paperwork on counter*

Receptionist: “Sure. Have we seen you here before?”

Driver: “No.”

Receptionist: “Then I’ll just need you to fill out our registration form here, please…”

Driver: “What? For a physical? I’m not doing that.”

Receptionist: “Sorry, but every patient has to.”

Driver: “Ugh! I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” *takes clipboard and stomps over to a seat*

(As the receptionist is setting up the driver’s appointment, she asks:)

Receptionist: “[Name], do you drive out of state at all?” *we always call our patients by their first name*

Driver: “My NAME is Ms. [Last Name]!”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry. Ms. [Last Name], do you drive out of state at all?”

Driver: “No! Only in California.”

Receptionist: “Okay, thanks.” *she finishes registering the driver, and asks again* “Now you’re SURE you don’t drive out of state, right?”

Driver: “No! Like I said!”

(Soon the back office MA calls her up. She grumps through the entire physical, complains about the receptionist’s “rudeness”, and leaves in a snit. A few days later, we get a call…)

Driver: “The DMV rejected my physical! I went all the way down there and they rejected it because I drive outside California sometimes! This is your fault!”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, that’s why the receptionist asked you REPEATEDLY if you drive out of state.”

Driver: “Well… I thought she was just being a nosy b****!”

(The driver had to wait a week and come back to our clinic when the out-of-state certifying doctor was working. She seemed slightly embarrassed on her return visit!)

Related:

Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 2

Out Of State, Out Of Mind

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I Prescribe Some Patience

| Sweden | Health & Body

Customer: “I’d like to fill a prescription but I also wanted to ask about this medicine.” *puts two boxes of OTC painkillers on the counter* “Can I use this for my migraine?”

(I start by asking her various questions about the migraine to see whether she should get something OTC or if she should see a doctor. I also ask about contraindications for the particular drug. From the answers I get I explain to her that the drug she chose on the shelf is not suitable for her and I go to the shelf to get a different medicine. All in all this has not taken more than a few minutes, and going to the shelf and back a maximum of 15 seconds. As I return she’s really upset with me and snaps.)

Customer: “How come you got so preoccupied with this? I told you I was here to fill a prescription!”

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Take A 48-Hour Chill Pill

| IL, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work at a very busy animal hospital’s oncology department. A client calls after having taken a lot of the doctor’s time that morning and making us run behind. I take the call, so the doctor can continue working on paperwork for her current patient.)

Customer: “Yeah, you guys didn’t give me enough d*** pills!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. We have a newer person that filled your prescription, but I did double check her. How many pills did we send you with?”

Customer: “It’s supposed to be two weeks’ worth, but you only gave me eight pills!”

Me: *realizing where the confusion lies* “Oh! Actually, that’s right; you got eight pills because the medication is given every other day. We need to see [Dog] in two weeks, so you’ll only be giving seven doses. I wanted to make sure that you had an extra dose, just in case, so that’s why we filled eight pills.”

Client: “But it’s supposed to be for two weeks. Why are there only eight pills?”

Me: “Because in those two weeks, you’re only giving seven doses. It’s an every other day medication.”

Client: “I get that it’s every other day, but why did you only give me eight pills?”

Me: *trying a different tactic* “Every 48 hours you’ll give [Dog] a pill. This means that, when we see you and (Dog) in two weeks’ time, you’ll have given seven pills. The pill can make some dogs feel ill, so we want to make sure he tolerates it, because you’re not allowed to return medication. That’s why we send two weeks’ worth the first time we send it home.”

Client: “Then why are there eight pills?”

Me: “The eighth pill is just in case something happens to one of the pills. For example, should [Dog] chew on one, or if he spits it out, or you should drop it down the sink. All those things have happened before to people. ”

Client: “I know why there’s an extra pill! But you said you wanted to see [Dog] in TWO WEEKS. Why did you only give me seven pills?”

Me: “Because you’ll be giving seven doses in those two weeks.”

Client: “But [Doctor] said you’ll give me two weeks’ worth, fourteen days! But there’s only seven plus the extra one!”

Me: “If we sent home fourteen pills, then that would almost be enough for a month worth of medication-”

Client: “I KNOW WHY THERE’S NOT FOURTEEN PILLS! You said you you’re giving me two weeks’ worth and—”

Me: *finally feeling the last part of my brain melt, I calmly unleash a stream of reasons, hoping one will make sense to her* “Because it’s an every other day medication. In those two weeks, you’ll only be giving seven pills. We don’t want to send more in case (Dog) gets sick from it. There’s two weeks’ worth of pills filled since you’re doing it every other day. Every 48 hours. Seven total doses.”

Client: “But you said—” *huff of breath, phone clattering, and then a click*

(I’m dumbfounded, so I look at the phone for a moment, then silently hang up the phone.)

Doctor: *shocked* “Did she just hang up on you?”

Me: *head in my hands* “Yes.”

Doctor: *picks up the phone, starts dialing client’s number*

(I had to go check in another patient so I didn’t hear the call, but the doctor told me later that the client had finally realized what I’d been telling her, and it made sense. She felt stupid and just hung up, to stop wasting my time…)

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