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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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You’re His Number One Choice

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a vendor. As I work in my client retail stores, I find myself constantly explaining I am not a store employee and can’t ring people up, get their orders for them, etc. In this particular store, my work area is near the layaway desk and the restrooms. I am approached by an older man while I am filling helium balloons for my client.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “I don’t work for [Store], sir. Please push that button to page for help.”

Customer: “Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “I work for the balloon company. Please push the button.”

Customer: “I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME PEE!”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I need someone to watch my f****** cart while I use the men’s room!”

Me: *relieved* “Sure. Park it right over there. Nobody will bother it.”

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You Obviously Don’t Have An Anime Nose

| Japan | Bizarre, Health & Body, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am a European girl working in a bar in Japan that advertises as being international. Foreign staff are often popular with Japanese customers who frequently tell us how “kawaii” (cute) we are. On this occasion I am talking to a couple of slightly drunk Japanese girls.)

Customer: “Aaaaaaah, you’re so cute!”

Me: *smiling, since we get this a lot* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Ah, you’re so cute! It’s because your face is small and you have a nose!”

Me: “Thank you…?”

(Apparently having a nose is somehow exciting!)

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Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”