Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Dia-Path-etic

| UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(My family and I have gone into an unfamiliar cafe for a light lunch. My dad and I order toasted sandwiches; my mum orders an ordinary cold sandwich. After 10 minutes mum’s sandwich comes, but no toasties. A few minutes later my dad catches the server’s attention:)

Dad: *in a jocular tone* “Hi, we’re still waiting for two toasted sandwiches. You haven’t forgotten us, have you?”

Server: *angrily* “We’re very BUSY!”

(Five more minutes go by. Mum has finished her sandwich, but I and dad haven’t got our food. The server comes towards us with a toasted sandwich, but serves it to the woman at the next table.)

Me: *to server* “Excuse me, we’ve been waiting for about 15 minutes. My mum’s finished her food, and we still haven’t had ours. I notice you’ve served that lady who came in after us. Has something gone wrong?”

Woman At Next Table: “I have type one diabetes! I HAVE to eat now. How DARE you complain when I HAVE to eat something before I lapse into a coma!”

Me: “You have type one diabetes? Me, too. And what you’re eating won’t help you if you’re worried about lapsing into a coma. You need something sweet, not a savoury sandwich. Please don’t make our condition an excuse for bad manners. Nobody was talking to you, anyway.”

The Truth Is The Same As Fiction

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Due to unfortunate genetics and a car accident roughly seven years ago, I walk using a cane. Being only 20 and obviously young, I get a lot of questions about it, especially from strangers at work.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going? Anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Nah, I got it.” *sees my cane* “What happened to you?”

Me: “Oh, you know, life isn’t always fair.”

Customer: “No! You gotta use this opportunity to make stuff up and sound cooler!”

Me: “I… got hit by a truck?”

Customer: “Exactly!” *walks away happily, oblivious that I was actually telling the truth*

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(The customer buys her tickets with a credit card so I hand her my pen to sign the receipt. While she’s signing it…)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom? I just changed my daughter’s diaper and need to wash my hands.”

Me: “It’s right over there… and you can keep the pen.”

 

Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

An Unhealthy Understanding Of Health

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am in line to buy a hot chocolate in the coffee shop section of a bookstore. I notice two women in line behind me, wondering out loud if they have hot chocolate.)

Woman #1: “Do you think they have hot cocoa? I really want hot cocoa.”

Me: “They do, actually. I’m getting some myself! They have the BEST hot chocolate.”

Woman #2: “Oh, that’s great! I wanted to get some since I just read that hot cocoa is really healthy for you!”

Me: “Healthy?”

Woman #2: “Yeah! They said that it is SO healthy for you, and that you should drink some every day!” *she notices the pastry display* “Oh! I think I’ll get a cupcake, too! Those are SUPER healthy!”

Bemusement Park

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

(I am on a ride. We are approaching the end. There is a woman who appears to not be enjoying the ride at all. If anything, she looks like she is going to have a panic attack.)

Character On Ride: “Would you like to ride with us again?”

Panicking Customer: “F***, NO!”

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