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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

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Your Answer Just Morphed

| QLD, Australia | Health & Body

(I work at a day surgery as a nurse, and a large part of my job is to admit people for their procedure, which involves asking them various questions about their health and medical history. This is a very common conversation I have with at least one patient every day.)

Me: “Can you please confirm your name and date of birth for me?”

Patient: “Sure, it’s [Name] and [Date].”

Me: “Thanks for that. Now, a really important question: do you have any allergies?”

Patient: “Nope, no allergies.”

(Five minutes later, when I’ve nearly finished admitting them.)

Patient: “Oh, actually, I get a really bad reaction to morphine.”

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Firing Off At You Over The Fire

| Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work the morning shift at a local corner shop. Every day around the same time I would smell a burning smell. I mention it to the manager who has people come in to check everything over but say there’s nothing to worry about. One morning the smell is even stronger than before. I call my manager over to ask her if she can smell anything. Before she can say anything she points behind me. The cupboard with all the electrics has white smoke pouring out the gaps of the door.)

Manager: “I’ll set the alarm. You get everyone out.”

(She runs to the alarm while I run around the shop to see if anyone is in. Being six am there isn’t so we both run out. My manager asks to borrow my phone to call 999. I hand her my phone and figure I should knock on all the doors to the shops and the residence above the shops next to us, though a man has already walked up to us at this point.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, there is a fire. You can’t come in.” *I go to start knocking on doors*

Man: “Wait, did you call 999?”

Me: “Yes, she’s doing it right now.” *I go to move again but he grabs my arm*

Man: “That’s white smoke; that would make it an electrical fire. Can you not just turn it off?”

Me: “The fire is on the switch to turn it off!”

(I give his arm a little shake but he steps in front of me.)

Man: “Could you not use a fire extinguisher?”

(I had thought of this, but as the fire was behind a door I didn’t want to cause a fire wave in my face with the rush of oxygen it would get.)

Me: “No. Please, I need—”

Man: “Need to get out of here? Just caring about your own a**? What about the people still asleep in the houses? Should you not warn them!?”

Me: *in my head* “I would be but I’m stood here talking to you!” *to Man* “I was just about to do that, sir…”

(At this point my manager has finished on my phone and hands it back to me.)

Manager: “Just make sure no one goes in except the fire people. I’ll go wake everyone up.”

(She runs off and the man is still standing next to me.)

Me: “Sir, if you could please move along. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

Man: “Sure, and when I leave you’ll just bolt. I’m staying right to make sure you do what your boss told you to do.”

(I chose to ignore him and waited for the emergency services which arrived in record time. I told them what the deal was and they dealt with it promptly. I saw the man walk off while giving me the ‘I’m watching you’ signal.)

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O… B… G… Y… N

| Health & Body

(While waiting at a busy ObGyn office for a pelvic exam a middle aged man enters and approaches the receptionist.)

Man: “I have a one pm appointment.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry; you have an appointment for yourself?”

Man: “Yes! One pm with Dr. [Name].”

Receptionist: “Sir… are you sure you have the right place?”

Man: “Why?”

Receptionist: *gestures around office and the guy suddenly seems to realize he is surrounded by women* “We are an ObGyn; we only have female patients and we do not have a Dr. [Name].”

Man: “This isn’t [Optometrist]?”

Receptionist: “No, they are located next door.”

Man: *leaves*

Receptionist: “He REALLY needs some new glasses.”

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Will Make You See Red

| UK | Health & Body

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find this, please? It was on the fitting room discard rack.”

Me: “I can certainly try, madam, but perhaps—”

Customer: “Great!” *grabs me and drags me to the women’s section*

(I spend the next twenty minutes trying to find the right shirt for her, but I’m having difficulty discerning one from another.)

Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you?! That’s green! What are you, colour-blind?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh!”

(The customer walked away and found a worker who had been on the department the entire time, looking over at me sympathetically without bothering to help. They found the right shirt within thirty seconds.)

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All Things Are Not Sound

| Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue

I work at a seasonal produce market that sells local fruits and vegetables as a cashier and grocery bagger. Today, a man and his wife came through with four bunches of garden carrots that still had the green tops on while I was on bagging duty. The tops of these carrots are usually all over the place, so to get them to fit nicely into our bags, we have to bend the leafy tops over.

The cashier hands me the bunches and I start putting them into the bags as usual. As I’m doing this, I hear a faint sound, which sort of resembles coughing and doesn’t really phase me.

As I go to put the last bunch in the bag, I hear a terrifying and loud screech that completely stuns me and the cashier I was working with. I look up to see the man staring at me very angrily.

It turns out he had a tracheostomy and could not speak whatsoever but was trying to tell me not to bend the carrot tops (hence the faint coughing noises).

The screeching sound was him screaming at me through his tracheostomy for not following his wishes, which he clearly could not get across.

Through all of this, his wife, who could communicate and understand her husband perfectly well, said nothing to indicate I was doing something they did not want.

That screeching sound will haunt my coworker and me forever.

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