Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Acting Super Fly In Superdry

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

(I work in a brand-name British clothing store. The brand is British, but as an artistic choice most of the clothing has Japanese text and the word ‘Japan’ in the logo, so it is common for a lot of customers to think the brand is Japanese. I am Chinese but I was born and raised in the UK.)

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]:*  “Why are we in this stupid store?”

Customer #2: “Because I like it! And I like supporting British companies.”

Customer #1: “You’re so stupid! This is a Japanese company! All you’re doing is supporting the Japanese!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, madam, but I couldn’t help overhearing. [Store] is actually a British company. The Japanese element is just an artistic choice. Not only that, but all our clothes are made in the UK as well.”

Customer #1: “You’re just saying that because you’re Japanese! You just want to send our money back to Japan!”

Me: “I was actually born here, madam, and not that it matters, but my ethnicity is Chinese, not Japanese.”

Customer #1: “Same thing!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! You can’t say that!”

Customer #1: “Sure I can.”

Me: “Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that you are carrying some [Other Brand Clothing Store] shopping bags.”

Customer #1: “So?”

Me: “That is an American brand. I am sure the USA appreciates your support.”

Customer #1: “Whatever!”

Customer #2: “Oh, shut up, [Customer #1]! And besides, you’re Polish!”

Don’t Go Against Or He’ll Be Very (St. Georges) Cross

| Denmark | Bizarre, Geography, Politics

(A customer walks into to the shop where I work. He is talking to himself and starts laughing randomly. This conversation happens after he has paid for his purchase.)

Customer: “By the way can you tell me which flag this is?” *shows me his coin purse*

Me: “That is the English flag.”

Customer: “The English flag looks like this?”

Me: “Yes, that’s the English flag; it’s different from the British flag.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. And are the English with us or against us?”

Me: “I think they’re with us; they were the last time I checked.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks so much. Bye!”

Me: *to my coworker* “I wonder what he would have done if I had said they were against us?”

Hanging With The Customers

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Geography

(I volunteer for a charity second-hand store for a few months. One day a woman who is obviously in a bad mood walks into the store.)

Customer: “Do you sell your clothes racks?”

Me: “Ah, no, ma’am, we need them.”

Customer: “Those racks?” *points to racks where our clothing is hanging*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we need them to hang our clothes on.”

Customer: “They sell them in Sydney.”

Me: “We aren’t Sydney, ma’am, and we need them to hang our clothing on.”

Customer: “I’m getting your manager!”

(My manager later told me about a crazy lady yelling at her because she wouldn’t sell the clothing racks to her!)

Far Away From The Solution

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk at a university.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re really far away from the microphone. I can’t hear you. Please repeat the info.”

Caller: *repeats info*

Me: “I just cannot hear you. You’re really far away.”

Caller: “Well, yeah, it’s a Skype call and I’m in Ireland, so of course it’s far away.”

Me: “…”

Won’t Go The Distance For The Sale

| Fort Walton Beach, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

Me: “Thank you for calling [Craft Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was trying to order some blackout curtain fabric last night, and the website was acting up and I couldn’t order it. If I come into the store, can you order it for me if you don’t have enough?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “The problem is that I was trying to order it last night when it was on sale, and the sale ended at midnight, so now it’s full price. Is there any way I can still get it half price?”

Me: “I’m not management, so I can’t tell you for sure, but more than likely if you explain that to one of our managers, they will override the price for you since the website was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “Wonderful. Now, I’m staying in a hotel in [Town]. Can you give me directions? I mean, I’m a local, but [something about a realtor and having to stay in a hotel].”

Me: “I can give you basic directions. From [Town], you just have to take [Highway] until you cross the bridge, then turn right on [Other Highway], go a couple miles north past [Burger Joint] and the bridge, and we’re on the left in [Plaza].”

Customer: “That’s too far!”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s really not that far from [Town].”

Customer: “Well, let me talk to someone else. Maybe they can give me better directions.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put you on the phone with [Coworker]. Maybe she can help.” *puts customer on hold and radios coworker* “Can you talk to the woman on line one? I gave her directions, but I guess they weren’t good enough.”

(My coworker takes the call and I hear her give a slightly more detailed explanation of the directions I just gave the woman. Then I hear the phone being not-so-gently hung up.)

Me: “I see that went well?”

Coworker: “Evidently she didn’t like my directions either, because she hung up on me.”

Me: “Well, you gave her the same directions I did, so I guess she was disappointed that talking to someone else didn’t change the location of our store, because she thinks 15 miles is too far.”

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