Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

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Ukraizy

| NY, USA | Geography, History

(I am buying a newspaper, in addition to other things, which has an article about the Ukraine on the front.)

Customer: “You know, you kids should really be worrying more.”

Me: “Oh? Why is that?”

Customer: “Because World War Three is coming.”

Me: *laughing* “Well, I’m not so much the military type. I suppose I’ll just go hide in Canada.”

Customer: “Oh, you think that! But Canada is voting soon to leave the Commonwealth! They want to be part of Russia!”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “Really? I suppose that puts Alaska in an awkward position.”

Customer: “You don’t even know!”

(After this, she went on for several minutes about assorted crackpot political theories. I felt bad for the people waiting.)

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No MO Delivery

| MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geography

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Delivery or carry-out today?”

Caller: “Where are you located?”

Me: “We’re on [Street] near [Intersection].”

Caller: “No I mean WHERE are you located? Like, are you in Missouri?”

Me: “Uh… Yes, we are.”

Caller: “Are you next to a [Fast Food Chain with thousands of locations nationwide]?”

Me: “We’re across the street from a [Fast Food Chain].”

Caller: “Okay, you’re who I need. I want a pizza delivered to [Street I’ve never heard of].”

Me: “That address doesn’t seem to be in our area. What’s the zip code so I can look that up for you?”

Caller: “[Zip code I don’t recognize].”

Me: “I’m not sure where that is. What city are you in?”

Caller: “How do you not know that? It’s [City], Florida!”

Me: “Sir… I’m in Missouri.”

Caller: “THAT’S WHAT I ASKED YOU BEFORE!”

Me: “And I said yes.”

Caller: “So, you don’t deliver here?”

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Can’t Transfer Through Their Thick Skull

| Rogue River, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I am the receptionist for a company that sells moisture meters. When a customer calls, they get an automated message saying the name of the company and what we offer before they reach me.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi, I have a tree in my front yard that I need removed.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I believe you have the wrong number. We offer moisture meters for wood and concrete here.”

Caller: “Okay. Well can’t you just transfer me to someone who can help?”

Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t have anyone here that can help you. You’ll have to call a different company.”

Caller: “Okay. But can’t you just TRANSFER me to someone who can help.”

Me: “I don’t have any way of doing that.”

Caller: “Well, I have a tree in my yard that I need to have removed. Who do I need to call?”

Me: “I’m not sure because we sell moisture meters for wood and concrete here.”

Caller: “Well, do you know of a company that I can call?”

(Obviously this lady doesn’t understand that she’s called a business and I’m getting nowhere so I change the approach.)

Me: “Where are you located?”

Caller: *some city far away from where I am*

Me: “Okay, we’re located in Rogue River, Oregon, and I’m not familiar with your town so I don’t know who to direct you to.”

Caller: “OKAY. But can’t you just TRANSFER me to someone who can?!”

Me: “Ma’am. I am the receptionist for a company that sells moisture meters. I am not an operator that can direct you to any other number.”

Caller: “Ohhhhhhhhh. Okay. So then transfer me to the operator. Thank you!”