Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Half-Brain

| Yosemite National Park, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(A tourist walks up to me at the front desk.)

Tourist: “Is that Half Dome outside?”

Me: “Half Dome is one of the many mountain features outside if you face east.”

Tourist: “Which one is it?”

Me: “It is the one that is exactly half of a granite dome… to the east.”

Tourist: “How much concrete was used to make it?”

Me: “… Seriously?”

Tourist: *stares blankly at me*

Me: “I couldn’t tell you, but they decided to ditch the building project once they ran out of re-bar.”

The Land Of The Free From Thought

| USA | Bigotry, Geography

(I am the manager at a discount department store, and one of our regular customers is a little bit flaky. She often talks to herself, repeating herself over and over.)

Customer: “Where are you from? What country do you come from?”

Me: “I was born in Colorado.”

Customer: “You need to go back to your country at once. America is for Americans.”

Me: “Colorado IS in America.

Customer: “You must go back! You must go back! You must go back!”

(She continues this ad nauseam until she finally leaves. A few weeks later she returns and purchases some items. Her total is $7.60 or so, and one of the coins she hands me is a Canadian quarter. I calmly inspect said quarter, and hand it back.)

Me: “I can’t accept this coin. Here in America, we only accept AMERICAN currency. If you want to spend the Canadian currency, perhaps you should, you know, go back to Canada to do so.”

(I haven’t had a problem with her since.)

If I Know Him I’ll Eat My Hat

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I vend at local arts and craft shows, selling handmade hats.)

Customer: “These hats are great! Do you know Sandy?”

Me: “Sandy? I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Oh c’mon! Sandy! He makes hats, too! Y’know, in Arizona? He’s famous!”

Me: “Nope. Can’t say I’ve met him.”