Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”


Not Have A Wale(s) Of A Time

| Wales, UK | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(The football world cup is on. A lot of English ex-pats have retired to our town and are displaying their flags. A lot of the Welsh people who live in town also choose to display Welsh flags, all year around.)

Customer: “Take them down.”

Me: “Sir? Take what down?”

Customer: “The bloody flags, you idiot. Take them down!”

Me: “Sir, respectfully I’d like to know what flags? We have none on display here.”

Customer: “Not here, you bimbo. All over the bloody town. F****** Welsh flags! It’s the world cup. YOU should be supporting ENGLAND.”

Me: “I don’t control what flags residents and other businesses choose to display – besides, this IS Wales. Many people are as proud to be Welsh as you obviously are to be English.”

Customer: “Well, it’s disrespecting the Queen.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you have a query I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah. I want these for the grandkids.”

(He hands me a fistful of souvenirs that all say ‘WALES/CYMRU’ on them, including a football with Welsh dragons on it, several Welsh flag erasers, and… a miniature Welsh flag!)

Me: “Uh… sure. That’ll be [price]. Have a great day!”

Customer: *leaves, muttering to himself* “Bloody foreigners. No respect.”

Coworker: “Welsh? Foreigners in our own country?”

Me: “Ah, [Coworker], did you not know that EVERYWHERE is foreign, even if you are English and somewhere besides England? It is everybody else and not you who is the foreigner.”

Coworker: “I hope Scotland votes ‘yes.’ Then, maybe we can think about leaving, too!”


She’s Saigon Crazy

| Rio Grande, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Geography, History

(After assisting an elder woman pick out a watch from our display case, I proceed to take her to my register to ring up the rest of her order. I scan the watch first then go to put it in a bag when she stops me.)

Customer: “Oh, could I put that in my purse instead?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands her the watch*

Customer: *takes a closer look at the box, then frowns* “Oh. Oh this is made in China. I can’t buy this.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just take it off then.”

(I remove the watch from the transaction and continue scanning her items.)

Customer: *continuing* “I only buy American you see. Or if I can’t, I’ll get it for lots of money off.”

(The last item she has is a medium sized ceramic pot. As I scan it I look inside it.)

Me: “It’s made in Vietnam, ma’am.”

Customer: *thinks this over, and then smiles* “Oh, that’s okay, then. My husband shot lots of people over there. Besides, I’m only going to use it for flowers anyway.”


Doesn’t Understand The ‘Grand’ Part Of The Canyon

| Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I’m working the afternoon shift at a gift shop register at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.)

Customer: “So, we’ve got dinner reservations for Phantom Ranch and rooms at El Tovar. What’s the best route to get there?”

Me: “…”

(For those not familiar with the area, El Tovar is on the South Rim, a five-hour drive from the North Rim, and Phantom Ranch is at the bottom of the canyon. The only route that reaches both of them is a two-day hike across the canyon.)


Doesn’t Have The Drive To Study Geography

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Transportation

(As I ring up a customer’s purchases, she gets chatty.)

Customer: “My neighbor is from Puerto Rico.”

Me: “That’s neat!”

Customer: “Yeah. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I haven’t. It would be nice to visit, though.”

Customer: “I think I’m going to try to go with them to visit sometime.”

Me: “That sounds fun.”

Customer: “How long do you think it takes to drive to Puerto Rico?”

Me: *thinking she’s kidding* “Oh, about as long as it takes to invent a floating car.”

Customer: “Oh. So, like, a long time?”

Me: “Yeah…”


Driving Away Business

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Geography, Popular

(I am a 16-year-old girl working at the drive-thru of a popular coffee shop. It’s a busy day and we are moving through the line quickly, until this customer.)

Me: “Here are your drinks, sir. Have a great day!”

Customer: “How do you get to [Small Town 50 miles away]?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, sir. I actually don’t know. There are plenty of places to get maps downtown, which is about two minutes down the street.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to go down there. Ask someone else.”

(I turn to a coworker and ask her how to get there, but she doesn’t know either.)

Me: “Sorry, she doesn’t know either. I see you have a [Popular Smartphone]; you could always look up directions on there. We have free Wi-Fi.”

Customer: “No! Ask someone else! I need to know now!”

(As it is only me and my coworker working, I resort to asking a customer inside the store.)

Me: “All right, he just told me you should get on route three west to get to the area.”

Customer: “How do I get to route three west?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know, and there is a line behind you. I’ve helped you the best I could.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You should know this! What the h*** are you getting paid for?” *drives off*

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’m getting paid to make your coffee…”

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