Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Maybe They Moved Because Of You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

Caller: “Hi, I’m at your store location in [City] and it’s not here anymore!”

Me: “I’m sorry; they had to move from that location when their lease expired. The new address is [Very Close Neighboring City, no more than ten minutes away].”

Caller: *scoffs* “Well, what am I supposed to do, then?”

Me: “…I’m sorry; you’ll have to go to the new location. It’s not too far away—”

Caller: “Well, now you’re going to make me drive twenty miles just to get a book?”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience but there’s nothing I can do about the location.”

(The caller huffs in disgust for a few long moments, apparently too enraged to speak. Then just growls out a bunch of angry words about how inconvenienced she is.)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can tell you is the new address.” *getting frustrated now* “What else would you like me to do for you, ma’am?”

Caller: “Well, make it come back here! I’m going to miss the Black Friday sales now because of you!”

Creating An International Incident

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography, Transportation

(I work at an Japanese car brand’s USA customer service center. Because of the differences in laws and regulations, there are actually several different companies – USA, Canada, Europe, etc.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Car Brand]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to make complaint! I had to leave my car at the dealership overnight for maintenance and the next morning there was a big scratch in the paint along one side.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! I will be happy to help you file a report. Where is the dealership? What city and state?”

Caller: “It’s in Tel Aviv.”

Me: “What state is that in?”

(There are lots of towns and cities in the USA named after places in other countries.)

Caller: “Oh, it’s not in the US. Tel Aviv is in Israel!”

Me: “In that case, sir, you’ve reached a wrong number. You need to call [Car Brand] of Israel to make your report.”

Caller: “I did! But I didn’t like their answer, so I decided to call you!”

Rising Land, Falling Intelligence

| New River Gorge, WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(While rafting on the New River in West Virginia, which is located in a gorge.)

Customer: “How do they get the trees in the back taller than the ones in the front? Those must be some really tall trees I guess.”

Me: “…”

Acting Super Fly In Superdry

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

(I work in a brand-name British clothing store. The brand is British, but as an artistic choice most of the clothing has Japanese text and the word ‘Japan’ in the logo, so it is common for a lot of customers to think the brand is Japanese. I am Chinese but I was born and raised in the UK.)

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]:*  “Why are we in this stupid store?”

Customer #2: “Because I like it! And I like supporting British companies.”

Customer #1: “You’re so stupid! This is a Japanese company! All you’re doing is supporting the Japanese!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, madam, but I couldn’t help overhearing. [Store] is actually a British company. The Japanese element is just an artistic choice. Not only that, but all our clothes are made in the UK as well.”

Customer #1: “You’re just saying that because you’re Japanese! You just want to send our money back to Japan!”

Me: “I was actually born here, madam, and not that it matters, but my ethnicity is Chinese, not Japanese.”

Customer #1: “Same thing!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! You can’t say that!”

Customer #1: “Sure I can.”

Me: “Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that you are carrying some [Other Brand Clothing Store] shopping bags.”

Customer #1: “So?”

Me: “That is an American brand. I am sure the USA appreciates your support.”

Customer #1: “Whatever!”

Customer #2: “Oh, shut up, [Customer #1]! And besides, you’re Polish!”

Don’t Go Against Or He’ll Be Very (St. Georges) Cross

| Denmark | Bizarre, Geography, Politics

(A customer walks into to the shop where I work. He is talking to himself and starts laughing randomly. This conversation happens after he has paid for his purchase.)

Customer: “By the way can you tell me which flag this is?” *shows me his coin purse*

Me: “That is the English flag.”

Customer: “The English flag looks like this?”

Me: “Yes, that’s the English flag; it’s different from the British flag.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. And are the English with us or against us?”

Me: “I think they’re with us; they were the last time I checked.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks so much. Bye!”

Me: *to my coworker* “I wonder what he would have done if I had said they were against us?”