Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

(I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”

A Whole New State Of Understanding

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Geography

(I’m currently having a conversation with a little girl, about kindergarten age, while I do her nails.)

Little Girl: “You know, I’ve never been to the United States of America.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Little Girl: “I’ve never been to the States. I wonder what it’s like there?”

Me: “You live in the United States, hun.”

Little Girl: “I do?”

Me: “Yes! You sure do!”

Little Girl: “Wow, I thought I lived in the city!”

Dislocated Their Brain

| ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geography

(I’m the dumb customer in this one. My family and I are at a hardware store, and have discovered that they don’t have any more of the item we want. The salesperson is looking up if any other stores in the area have it.)

Salesperson: “So [Location #1] has two, [Location #2] has six, and [Location #3] has sixteen.”

Me: “What about [Location #4]?”

Salesperson: “Um… that’s the location you’re in right now.”

Mom: *to me* “Long day, honey?”