Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

Utah Got The Wrong Place

| Canada | Bizarre, Geography, Musical Mayhem

(I am working at the box office when the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m looking for the Utah Symphony.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Caller: “The Utah Symphony.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. I’m in Canada.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure I’m in Canada.”

Caller: “Is this [Address] in [City], Utah?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m on [Street] in [City], Canada.”

Caller: “But where can I find the Utah Symphony?”

Me: “…try Utah?”

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”

Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)