Category: Geography

You may call them “lost”, but we prefer the name “geographically disadvantaged.”

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Ireland Is A Cottage Industry

| USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Popular

(I’m working as a hostess in a busy city restaurant that deals with large volumes of tourists. One afternoon a middle-aged couple comes in for lunch. It’s also important to note that I am Irish.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]! How are you today?”

Woman: *turning to husband* “Honey! Wow, don’t you just love her accent?”

Man: “Yeah!” *to me* “You’ve got a nice accent there. Where’s it from?”

Me: “Thank you! I’m from Dublin, Ireland. I’m just over here for the summer.”

Woman: *in a strong southern accent* “Ireland? How lovely! You know, I’m Irish, too!”

Me: “Oh, really? That’s great. What part are you from?”

Woman: “Well, my great-great-grandmother originally came from Cork!”

(I hear this a lot – how Irish-American descendants consider themselves 100% Irish.)

Me: “Oh, wow! So have you ever been to Ireland yourselves?”

Man: “Nah, but we would like to go sometime!”

Woman: “Yeah, we would go if only you guys had electricity there!”

Me: “…?”

Man: *laughing* “Yeah, we couldn’t manage without bathrooms and TVs and stuff!”

Me: *unsure if they are joking* “Haha, actually we do have running water and electricity now… We’ve had it for a number of years, in fact…”

Woman: “Oh, honey, there’s no need to be embarrassed! We think it’s cute how you live in cottages. We’ve seen the pictures of those cute straw roofs you guys have.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Man: “So, tell me… how are you adjusting to city life?”

(It only went downhill from there! I don’t know where they got their ideas about Ireland, but I ushered them into their seats as quickly as possible so that I couldn’t hear more!)

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Doesn’t Know What State His Mind Is In

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Geography

(The customer approaches my register, looking dazed:)

Customer: “Um, what city is this?”

Me: “Baton Rouge.”

Customer: “So… Louisiana?”

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Those Are Some Pretty Long Pipes

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography, Popular

(There is a plumbing company in Maryland that shares the same company name as the one I work for in Scottsdale, Arizona. Due to the same name we occasionally get calls for them. I receive one such call from an restaurant in Westminster, MD.)

Her: “Hello. I work for [Restaurant] in Westminster, and we need a plumber.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are in Scottsdale, Arizona. Not Maryland. We are about 2000 miles away from you.”

Her: “So, can you come out this afternoon?”

Me: “I’m sorry; We are 2000 miles away in Arizona. You have the wrong Apple plumbing.”

Her: “Wait, so, you guys can’t help us?”

Me: “Not unless you wish to pay a huge gas bill for us to drive out there and back…”

Her: “So, I guess you can’t be here this afternoon?”

Me: *sighing heavily* “No, not really…”

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