Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

R2-Dum Too

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule

(It’s a really slow night so I pull a crochet project out of my bag and sit off to the side of the counter in the break area so that I can work on it. A customer walks in and points at it.)

Customer: “What you making?”

Me: “A hat for my boyfriend.”

Customer: “That’s a funny color pattern.”

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s not finished. When it’s done it’ll look like this.”

(I show him the pattern’s photos, which is for an R2-D2 hat, and he wrinkles his nose.)

Customer: “Is he a kid?”

Me: “No, he’s not.”

Customer: “Is he actually going to wear that thing?”

Me: “Yes, because he specifically asked me to make it for him.”

Customer: *makes a disgusted face* “Ugh! So he’s a geek!”

Me: “Yes, he is. And your point is?”

Customer: *condescendingly* “He’s a nerd.”

Me: “Yes, and so am I. Again: what’s your point?”

Customer: *throws up his hands* “He’s a nerd! A geek!”

(The customer kept saying that over and over again as he picked up the items he had come to purchase. I’ll never understand people that think being geeky/nerdy is a bad thing. At least my boyfriend likes nerdy handmade things he gets.)

Genetically Modified Turkey

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

Customer: “Hi, yes, could I please have a pound of mystique turkey please?”

Me: *not quite catching what they said* “I’m sorry, did you say mesquite turkey?”

Customer: “Yes, mystique turkey!”

Me: “Actually, it’s mesquite smoked turkey, Mystique is a character in X-Men.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, just get me some mystique turkey, please.”

Me: “Mystique turkey coming right up! And I’ll change it blue for you, too!”

Fifty Shades Of Dark Knight

| Markham, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Rude & Risque

(A woman comes into the store.)

Customer: “I need the latest Harlequin book!”

Me: “Of course. Do you know the title or author?”

Customer: “No. But it’s the latest one!”

(In the spirit of providing good customer service, I quickly retrieve the latest Harlequin releases to show the woman. Upon seeing the books, the customer gives me a very unexpected response:)

Customer: “NO! NO! This is wrong! I want the one with Batman!”

(Fortunately, the Batman reference tells me what the customer is ACTUALLY looking for.)

Me: “Ah. You want the latest HARLEY QUINN comic book.”

Customer: “That’s what I said! Harlequin!”

(The wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable determines whether you get a comic book, or an erotic novel.)