Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

Adroidtly Handled

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology

(There’s an R2-D2 toy on display in the middle of the store. A customer walks up and opens up one of the hatches on it.)

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry.” *closes the hatch*

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “You’re welcome.”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

This Is Why You Question Their Knowledge Of Questions

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule

(I’m at a very busy convention listening to a guest panel.)

Panelist: “Okay, we’re going to open the floor for questions now, but let me warn you: we’re short on time, so I only want short, one-sentence QUESTIONS, okay? No background, no long life stories. Just ask your question and go. Everyone understand?”

Audience: *nods and murmurs their agreement*

Panelist: “You all get it? Questions ONLY. You learned the difference between questions and statements in kindergarten so I’m trusting you all to be smart about this. Again, everyone understands, QUESTIONS ONLY?”

Audience: *laughs and shouts YES*

Panelist: “Okay, first question.”

Audience Member: “Hi! I’m from Colorado and I’ve been a huge fan of your work since I was a little kid…”

Panelist: *puts head in hands* “NEXT!”

Back To The Uber

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule, Transportation

(A large group of us are going from a house party to a club, so we order two separate Ubers. My group gets into the second Uber just as the first one is pulling away.)

Me: “Driver! Follow that car!”

Uber Driver: “Awesome! I’ve always wanted someone to say that!”

(We pull away and start following our friends in the first Uber.)

Uber Driver: “So, why are we following them?”

(My three slightly tipsy friends and I all answer simultaneously.)

Friend #1: “Kidnapping.”

Friend #2: “Terrorists.”

Friend #3: “Aliens.”

Me: “Time Travelers.”

Uber Driver: “So… time-traveling alien terrorists have kidnapped someone?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Uber Driver: “Well I have a flux-capacitor in the back!”

Me: “But this isn’t a DeLorean!”

Uber Driver: “Yeah, Uber wouldn’t let me use the DeLorean for fear I would get the passengers to their destinations before they even left their point of origin. Temporal paradoxes and all that. But I still have the spare flux-capacitor, so don’t tell them!”

Me: “Your secret is safe with us.”

Uber Driver: “So shall we time travel to stop the evil alien time-traveling terrorists from their fiendish scheme?”

Friend #1: “I see a problem with that plan.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend #1: “Good luck hitting 88 mph in downtown San Francisco…”