Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!


Has A Decent (Dead)Pool Of Characters To Choose From

| CO, USA | Geeks Rule, Popular

(I am a 25-year-old female. A male customer, probably around my age, comes up to my counter where I’m cashiering. I notice his t-shirt, which has several Marvel Comics characters on it.)

Me: “I like your t-shirt.”

(Customer looks at me and raises an eyebrow, like he clearly doesn’t believe I’d be a comic book fan.)

Customer: *pretentiously* “Yeah, a lot of people say that. The real question is, which one is your favorite?”

Me: “Captain America, although I also have a fondness for the Hulk.”

Customer: “My favorites are Thor and Wolverine.”

Me: “I also really like Deadpool.”

(The customer pauses and looks confused.)

Customer: “Which one?”

Me: “Deadpool.”

Customer: *clearly having no idea who Deadpool is* “Oh…”

(The guy behind him in line gave me an admiring look.)

Adroidtly Handled

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology

(There’s an R2-D2 toy on display in the middle of the store. A customer walks up and opens up one of the hatches on it.)

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry.” *closes the hatch*

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “You’re welcome.”


Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

This Is Why You Question Their Knowledge Of Questions

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule

(I’m at a very busy convention listening to a guest panel.)

Panelist: “Okay, we’re going to open the floor for questions now, but let me warn you: we’re short on time, so I only want short, one-sentence QUESTIONS, okay? No background, no long life stories. Just ask your question and go. Everyone understand?”

Audience: *nods and murmurs their agreement*

Panelist: “You all get it? Questions ONLY. You learned the difference between questions and statements in kindergarten so I’m trusting you all to be smart about this. Again, everyone understands, QUESTIONS ONLY?”

Audience: *laughs and shouts YES*

Panelist: “Okay, first question.”

Audience Member: “Hi! I’m from Colorado and I’ve been a huge fan of your work since I was a little kid…”

Panelist: *puts head in hands* “NEXT!”

Back To The Uber

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule, Transportation

(A large group of us are going from a house party to a club, so we order two separate Ubers. My group gets into the second Uber just as the first one is pulling away.)

Me: “Driver! Follow that car!”

Uber Driver: “Awesome! I’ve always wanted someone to say that!”

(We pull away and start following our friends in the first Uber.)

Uber Driver: “So, why are we following them?”

(My three slightly tipsy friends and I all answer simultaneously.)

Friend #1: “Kidnapping.”

Friend #2: “Terrorists.”

Friend #3: “Aliens.”

Me: “Time Travelers.”

Uber Driver: “So… time-traveling alien terrorists have kidnapped someone?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Uber Driver: “Well I have a flux-capacitor in the back!”

Me: “But this isn’t a DeLorean!”

Uber Driver: “Yeah, Uber wouldn’t let me use the DeLorean for fear I would get the passengers to their destinations before they even left their point of origin. Temporal paradoxes and all that. But I still have the spare flux-capacitor, so don’t tell them!”

Me: “Your secret is safe with us.”

Uber Driver: “So shall we time travel to stop the evil alien time-traveling terrorists from their fiendish scheme?”

Friend #1: “I see a problem with that plan.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Friend #1: “Good luck hitting 88 mph in downtown San Francisco…”


Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True

| KY, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV

(It is October, 1999. I am in the local fabric store with some friends, getting costuming stuff. We run across a woman buying up materials for making an Anakin Skywalker costume for her nine-year-old son that’s with her. He really, really likes ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace;’ it is his favorite movie and he has come to be a huge fan of ‘Star Wars.’)

Boy: “I’ve watched the original trilogy of films every week and that I’ve seen Episode I in theaters a dozen times and can’t wait for it to come out on tape!”

Mom: “I hope my boy grows up to be just like Anakin!” *she then goes on talking about what a great role model Anakin is for young boys and how she encourages her boy to be like Anakin… cue the awkward pause and cringe by me and my friends*

Me: “Uh, do you know that Anakin Skywalker grows up to be Darth Vader?”

Mom: “Don’t be crazy. You’re making that up. There’s no way sweet little Anakin could ever become evil like that. Besides, he doesn’t grow up to be Vader. They have different names after all.”

Me: “These are prequels. They are set decades before the original films, right? Okay, the hero of the original films was Luke Skywalker right? Okay, remember the “No, I am your father.” part that Vader says?”

(That is when it clicked to her. She’d never put it together. She got a look of abject horror on her face when she realized it was true. She grabbed her boy by the hand, dragging him out of the store, saying he was going to be something else for Halloween, and he was not allowed to ever watch Star Wars ever again and she was getting rid of all his Star Wars stuff because it was filled with such bad role models for children.)

Page 3/2812345...Last