Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!


A Link To Past Sales

| OH, USA | Funny Names, Geeks Rule, Popular

(I am working the pay window of the drive-thru. The terminal we run credit cards in displays the name on the card when a card is run. In the middle of a transaction for a customer, I notice something peculiar about his name.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I almost laughed at your name.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Do you know the Legend of Zelda series?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your last name is similar to ‘Ganondorf,’ the main villain.”

(The customer lets out a loud laugh similar to the one Ganondorf makes in one of the games.)

Customer: “At last we meet, Link!”

(He took his credit card and receipt before driving off.)


Silence Of The Hipsters

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I work in a music and DVD store that prides itself on being able to provide hard to find items. Each of us working in the story try to have as broad a knowledge as possible of different movies, TV, and music, and so we often surprise customers when they request something they think we’ll never heard of. Occasionally, though, a customer will go out of their way to try to prove us wrong.)

Customer: “I was wondering if you had a TV series called Hannibal.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s a pretty good seller at the moment. The third season’s just been released.”

Customer: “Have you watched it?”

Me: “Oh, my god, yes! I love it! Bryan Fuller can do no wrong, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: *scoffing* “You know it’s based on a movie, right? You probably haven’t seen it. It’d be before your time. It’s called The Silence of the Lambs.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’ve seen Silence of the Lambs.”

Customer: “You must be older than you look.”

Me: “I just really like movies.”

Customer: “You know, there was a song written about Hannibal Lecter. It was a few years ago, but you probably haven’t heard it since it wasn’t played on most radio stations.”

Me: “You mean Lotion by the Greenskeepers? It made the Hottest 100 that year; I think it was 2005 or 2006. It’s an awesome song; it really gets the Buffalo Bill vibe down.”

Customer: *suddenly aggravated* “You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This place is a sham, helping big corporations to funnel mass produced crap media into the homes of unknowing idiots. You think just because you can spout off some facts about a culturally significant movie that it makes you better than me? You still sell One Direction to screaming teeny boppers.”

Me: “At least the teeny boppers are polite.”

Customer: “WELL, DVDS ARE OUTDATED TECHNOLOGY!” *storms off*

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “I think I just out-hipstered a hipster, by knowing random facts about a popular TV show, which is based on a popular book series.”

Coworker: “People are so weird.”


Do Not Underestimate The Power Of Insurance

Geonosis | Geeks Rule

It is a period of change, so the Not Always sites will be converting from text-based stories to fan-fiction comics. We know this is a bit forced, but we’ve got a good feeling about this…


Just kidding. We’ll stick with text-based stories. Happy April Fools’ Day!

PS: Check out all our April Fools’ 2016 comics:
Right | Working | Romantic | Related | Learning | Friendly


Goblin-Flavored Icee

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Popular

(Three teenagers, two girls and one boy, have paid for concessions and are walking toward the theatres.)

Girl #1: *clutching a gigantic Icee* “My precious…”

Girl #2: “Jenny, no! We talked about this!”

Girl #1: “Baggins… shire…”


The Customers Beyond The Wall

| NJ, USA | Geeks Rule

(I work in a very specific area of the computer software services industry that can be very complicated to people who are new. Consistently, my organization is ranked as one of the top partners for one of the software giants. In addition, we have dozens of videos, case studies, and employees, including the executives and many consultants, listed within our website. I monitor the customer chat for our site.)

Me: “Hello, [Customer]. Can I help you with anything today?

Customer: “Your website tells me nothing about the personnel managing your company. Who is the head? Who are the consultants?”

Me: “Can I ask why you need the information?”

Customer: “25 years of experience in what?”

Me: “Or where specifically? We have hundreds of consultants.”

Customer: “If you need to be top secret and don’t allow potential customers to know who they are doing business with then I should look at a company that is more open. Do you have criminals at the top of the organization?”

Me: “We don’t try to hide our information. We’re more than welcome to share if you have a specific need. I can only speak for myself, but as far as I know, there are no criminals here.”

Customer: “No names, no background information as to what they have done to call themselves a consultant. Sounds sketchy to me.”

Me: “Would you like to view a few of our case studies? Or you can find a specific location with detailed information with the names of the local team members.”

Customer: “Let me call [Software Partner] to find someone who is a little more forthcoming.”

Me: “I don’t think I’ve withheld anything from your requests”

Customer: “I am going to ask [Software Partner] why you guys are hiding behind a giant wall.”

Me: “…to keep away the White Walkers, sir”

System: “Visitor exited chat.”

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