Category: Geeks Rule

Whether you call them geeks, nerds, or dorks, we’re proud to call the masters of all that is obtuse and purveyors of hopelessly inane facts and fiction our friends. From Trekkies and Sith Lords to Muggles and Team Jacob (okay, Edward too), this category is dedicated to stories about those who rise above cool — and will probably end up ruling the world!

The Best Coffee In Cybertron

| Santa Clara, CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(A young woman walks into our store carrying an unusually large purse.)

Woman: “Hi! I’d like to order a caramel frappuccino. Nothing else, please.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price]. Who’s it for?”

Woman: “My friend.” *pulls plastic robot-looking toy out of her purse along with her wallet; sets it on counter and passes me a credit card* “His name is Soundwave. But you can say it’s for Allison.”

Me: “Okay… You can pick that up over at our pickup window.”

Woman: “Thank you!” *puts toy back in purse, walks away*

Fashion Is Dead(Pool)

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work in a well-known retail store. A mother comes to my register with her very preppy looking teenage daughter. The daughter is getting two graphic tees. Note that I am also female.)

Me: “So whoever picked out the Deadpool shirt has good taste!”

Daughter: *squeals* “See, Mom! I told you!”

Me: “Yeah, Deadpool is the best! He so awesome.” *the daughter just stares at her mother with the biggest grin* “I read that they finally greenlit the movie.”

Daughter: “Yeah, but I am hoping it isn’t a fan made thing going around.”

Me: “Well, if it isn’t, as long as they don’t replace Ryan Reynolds, I will be happy.”

(At this point the transaction was over and the mother and daughter were walking out with the daughter saying how much Ryan Reynolds sucked. The mother basically had the ‘kill me now’ look on her face the entire time. Score one for the nerds!)

Muggles Can’t See The Baconsaurus-Rex

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Language & Words

(I am the customer here. I have moved into a new apartment and am setting up the phone and Internet. It’s also exam period at the university where I work, so I have been up all night marking some truly abysmal papers. I am not operating well at all — which, of course, is the ideal time to deal with phone companies…)

Sales Rep: “…all right, we’re almost finished. I just need you to choose a username for this service.”

Me: *a little stressed* “Uh… I’m so bad at choosing these. And my brain is just not working… Hang on, give me a moment…”

Sales Rep: “Sure, take your time.”

(Sadly, my brain decides now is a good moment to catch up on lost sleep. The moment stretches on for what feels like several minutes, during which I come up with literally no ideas.)

Sales Rep: “Hello? Are you still there?”

Me: “Yeah, I am. Just, uh, having some trouble deciding.”

Sales Rep: “Most people just use theirname@[ISP].com, or some variation.”

Me: “Yes. That would be the sensible thing to do. For normal, sensible humans. OK, let’s go with [unusual nickname]@[ISP].com”

Sales Rep: “Would you be able to spell that, please?”

Me: “T, M -”

Sales Rep: “D, N?”

Me: “No, it’s ‘T’ for…Tyrannosaurus. ‘M’ for…Muggle. ‘B’ for …Bacon.”

(Suddenly, there is muffled giggling from the other end. It starts off quietly, but grows into an impressive crescendo.)

Sales Rep: *after having recovered somewhat* “Sorry about that. That’s just the best thing that’s happened all day. You have no idea how boring ‘Tango,’ ‘Mike,’ and ‘Bravo’ get. You get brownie points for that.”

Me: “Oooh! I think you mean ‘bacon points’!”

(Things went much better after that.)

On Autobot Autopilot

| ID, USA | Geeks Rule, Non-Dialogue

I’m the customer in this story. I got a necklace at a Renaissance Faire not too long ago that’s essentially a tiny book on a chain, and since I work as a librarian I’ve been wearing it to work every day and I’ve gotten a LOT of compliments on it.

A couple weeks after getting it I end up going to the post office on my lunch break to send a package, and as she’s helping me the clerk compliments me on my necklace. Without thinking I reply “Thanks. I work at the library.”

The clerk gives me a weird look but says nothing, and finishes up with my package. It’s not until I’m out the door that I realize I’m NOT wearing the book necklace today, but a pendant with the Autobot symbol from Transformers on it.

I can only wonder what was going through that clerk’s head when I responded to a compliment on my “geeky” necklace with a complete non-sequitur about my job.

Don’t Leave Santraginus V Without It

| USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule

(I am a trainer for an internal helpdesk. We have several new employees, and one of them is currently sitting with me while I show her how to handle our calls. She is older, and has commented several times that I say the weirdest things.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “Well, you’re doing really well so far, so let’s see. The meaning of life?”

Me: “Well, as far as I understand, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.”

Caller: “You would be surprised how many people don’t know that.”

Me: “Those people probably also don’t know where their towel is, and that’s a shame.”

Caller: *cracks up laughing*

Trainee: “…”

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