icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A Sweet Slippery Request

| CA.USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m second in line waiting on a fresh batch of kettle corn, which has just finished. We’ve all been watching the preparation process, from start to finish and no one’s said anything.)

Worker: *to customer in front of me* “New batch is ready! Now, what would you like?”

Customer: “A small, no sugar, no oil.”

(The worker is taken aback and looking from the customer to the kettle of oil and huge mass of popped corn, leaving an awkward moment of silence.)

Worker: “Unfortunately, that’s not going to be possible.”

Also Forgot His Nuts

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, One-Liners

(I go to the store to get bananas, and nothing else. I pay for the bananas, and start to walk away, forgetting them at the register.)

Cashier: *holds bananas up and calls to me* “Hey! Your bananas!”

Me: “That’s between me and my psychiatrist, thank you very much!”

(We all have a good chuckle as I return for the bananas.)

A Big Mayo No No

| WA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am pregnant, and I find my brain occasionally ceases functioning. I often find myself at a loss for words. One night, while picking up dinner at a popular submarine sandwich shop, I confidently asked the young man making my sandwich for ‘brown mayonnaise.’)

Employee: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Brown mayonnaise?”

Employee: “I… but… brown? Mayonnaise?”

Me: “Yes, please! Just a little bit, though.”

Employee: “I’m just so sorry, but I’ve never heard of brown mayonnaise, and we definitely don’t have any. I have regular mayonnaise, light mayonnaise, yellow mustard, brow… oh!” *grabs his bottle of brown mustard and offers it to me just as my brains clicks on*

Me: “Did I seriously just ask you for brown mayonnaise, like, three times? I’m so sorry. Mustard. I definitely meant mustard.”

Employee: “Thank goodness, because brown mayonnaise does not sound good at ALL.”

(I had to agree.)

We All Scream For The Wrong Ice Cream

| NE, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I’m stocking product in an aisle while two older gentlemen are browsing through it. One is practically shouting into his phone.)

Customer #1: *on phone* “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CHIPOLLETA ICE CREAM?”

Customer #2: “GELATO!”

Customer #1: *on phone* “GELATO ICE CREAM?”

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4

| NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I clean houses for a living. This particular client was a little old lady wanting a once off spring clean.)

Lady: “Would you like a tea or coffee?”

Me: “No thank you, but I will take a glass of water if you are offering.”

Lady: “Sure! I will be right back.”

(She comes back with a glass of water and a slice of cake.)

Lady: “Would you like some cake? It’s really nice!”

Me: *eyeing it off* “Does it have gluten in it?”

Lady: “Oh, no! I don’t put any in my cakes. Try it; it’s really quite nice.”

Me: *not entirely convinced* “Did you put flour in it?”

Lady: “Of course I did… It’s a cake.”

Me: *sighing* “Flour has wheat in it; therefore it has gluten in it. I’m gluten intolerant, sorry.”

Lady: “Are you sure?! It’s really very nice.”

Me: “I’m sure it’s quite lovely but it’s not worth the pain.”

Lady: “Are you sure?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, I’m sure.”

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

Page 94/403First...9293949596...Last