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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Icy Receptions

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Vanilla latte.”

Me: “Would you like that hot or iced?”

Customer #1: *blank stare*

Me: “Ma’am? Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, medium vanilla latte. Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Sarah.”

Me: *it clicks* “Oh, your name is Sarah. Okay, is this hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “I don’t need a receipt.” *begins attempting to swipe card*

(I give up, total the order, and write her name on a hot cup. The next customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Large caramel latte.”

Me: “Is this hot or iced?”

Customer #2: “Phillip.” *begins to swipe card*

Coworker: “And so sets the tone of the day.”

(The first customer comes back in.)

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME, I WANTED THIS ICED!”

Me: “Of course you did.”

Set Up To Be Upset

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I answer our phone at work. A customer wants to place a catering order. After working with her to copy down her order, she asks for a total. I have to go through a longer process to actually enter the order into our system, so I call her back.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I’m calling to let you know your total will be [price].”

Customer: “That’s not right. I got [price].”

(I look over what she had requested for her order. I realize that one of the things she asked for was a premium item that wasn’t the same price as the rest of the catering sandwiches.)

Me: “Oh, the two chicken veggies are a little more than the regular sandwich prices.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not right! I called yesterday and spoke to a girl who said that the chicken didn’t cost extra.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I’m not sure why they told you that chicken doesn’t cost extra but it does. The veggies normally come without it and adding it adds an additional charge.”

Customer: “The girl I spoke to yesterday said they were just additions, so they didn’t cost extra!”

Me: “Well, they are additions. ALL additions aside from our basic toppings cost extra.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me the chicken will cost extra!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s always cost extra. Do you know who you spoke to?”

Customer: “No, I don’t remember her name!”

(I list a few females names that may have answered the phone. She doesn’t recognize any of them.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but there may just have been a miscommunication. Perhaps she misunderstood your question or misspoke, because I can’t imagine any of our employees who you would have spoken to yesterday who would mistakenly tell anyone that chicken is a free addition.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me that the chicken is extra!”

Me: “…I’m sorry that there was a miscommunication about it, but chicken has always been extra.”

Customer: “I’m very upset about this! So, what, how much extra is it, what, two dollars?”

Me: “Yes, it would be two dollars total extra. It’s a dollar extra for chicken per sandwich.”

(The customer didn’t speak for a moment, presumably adding up the price again. We went over the prices twice and she asked for me to give her the total again. We eventually finalized everything. I didn’t work the next day, but apparently she sent someone else to go pick up the order. Apparently, she also wrote a customer complaint about how upset she was that chicken costs money!)

They Fit The Bill

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m a new waitress at a sports bar. Today is my first day with a full section, and it got taken over by a party of about 45 people, who pulled tables from other sections into mine, so I’m handling 20 more people than I’d planned on. They are all loud, rude, and demanding. I bring them their checks, which I split individually, per their request.)

Customer #1: “Actually could you put her fries on my check? I told her I’d pay for hers!”

(The woman he’s pointing to ordered a combo, so it’s odd that he’d offer to pay for just fries.)

Me: “Sir, she ordered a combo. Did you mean someone else?”

Customer #1: “Nope! Put her fries from the combo on my bill, and the pretzel bites I ordered on HIS bill!” *he points to a random man across the table*

Me: “Er… sir, I can’t really split the cost of fries from a combo to be the same amount of a single order of fries, they’re different prices and our computers can’t do th—”

Customer #2: “Oh, enough! You’ve been so slow! You can handle this task! Now my lemonade, my wife is picking up. That table over there, I’m picking up all of their food EXCEPT two of the drinks.”

(By this time, I have 45 people requesting ridiculous and borderline impossible split checks. My manager gets called over, and she doesn’t quite understand the problem, and orders me to split the checks “correctly” for the customers. I get so overwhelmed at the computer that I start welling up tears. Suddenly, a stranger comes up with a few $100 bills.)

Stranger: “They’re a**-holes. I’ve been there. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’m paying for their tab. I’ll tell your manager. Keep the change.”

(The 45 customers leave and loudly remark about what a bad waitress I am, but I ignore them and count out my 50% tip on such a huge bill!)