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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop, Part 4

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have two doughnuts that look the same but are filled with different fillings. The only way to tell is to look at the holes where the fillings are put in.)

Customer: “I’ll have the choc iced cream, and she’ll have the choc iced custard.”

Me: *holds up doughnut so she can see the filling* “Okay, the choc iced cream is white in the middle and the—”

Customer: “Why is it white?”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s cream. You wanted the cream one. I’m getting custard.”

Customer: “Oh, it has cream in the middle?”

Customer’s Daughter: “You asked for the cream one.”

Customer: “I just wanted a plain one. It didn’t say that the choc iced cream had anything in it!”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Not Your Cup Of Tea

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I work in a small tea merchant that sells about 200 different varieties of tea. A customer and his girlfriend come in. The girlfriend walks over to my coworker.)

Customer: *approaches me and leans in uncomfortably close* “Do you have any teas for men?”

Me: “Could you be a bit more specific, sir?”

Customer: “You know? For MEN!” *begins miming masturbating*

Me: “Err…”

Customer: *continues miming* “You know, a tea to make your d*** BIG and STRONG!”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: “No? Okay.”

(The customer and his girlfriend left the shop. My coworker and I looked at each other and just began laughing hysterically.)

A Big Fat Irony

| Denmark, Aarhus | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “Hi, I would like one skinny latte, please. No sugar.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We don’t have nonfat milk, but I can make you a latte with skimmed milk which only has 0.5% fat.”

Customer: “Ugh, no thanks. That is still too much.”

Me: “Well, I am sorry, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like a chocolate cream cake, and can you cut it into pieces so I can eat it in the bus?”

Thinks Very Highly Of Your Cakes

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator at a well known and respectable bakery. We take orders over the phone, as well as in person. One day, I received an unusual phone call. After writing down the basics of her order…)

Woman: “Can you make it a pot cake?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Woman: “Can you put the pot in it?”

Me: “You mean you want marijuana baked into your cake?”

Woman: “Yes! A lot of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t do that.”

Woman: “Well, can you at least draw a pot leaf on the top of the cake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am not allowed to do that, either. I can decorate it with a different picture, or write something on it if you want.”

Woman: “Okay, then write on it.”

Me: “What do you want it to say?”

Woman: “Happy Birthday, Mom.”

H2-Slow To Realise

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at a sno-cone stand for my uncle, and as it is usually very hot, my stand almost always has a line. Customer #1 is sitting at a picnic table off to the side, not in line.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, can I get a water?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, in just a moment, after I help this girl with her cone.”

Customer #1: “I don’t care! I’m thirsty and it’s hot. Do you want me to become dehydrated and die?!”

Me: *getting sick of people not waiting in line and expecting service* “Frankly, sir, I don’t care. There is a line, that you can see is quite long, and you are currently at the end of it.”

Customer #1: “WOW! I should tell your boss about how terrible your service is. You’re being a b***!”

Customer #2: *a regular* “Go ahead, dude. It doesn’t matter; that’s her uncle.”

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