Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Older Ladies Have A Higher Drive (Thru)

, | Charlotte, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’m working the drive thru late on Saturday night. I’m 17 at this point. A group of older women, presumably on a cougars’ night out, have come up to the second window and have paid. I hand them their drinks.)

Me: “Your food will be right out, ladies.”

Woman: *in the back seat* “Show him something!”

(I think I know what she means, so I’m not particularly keen to hand them their food when it comes up. Sure enough, when I go to give them their food, EVERY woman in the car has exposed her bare breasts.)

Me: “Here’s your food. Have a good night!”

(I immediately closed the window and fled. I could hear them laughing as they drove off. What a show for a 17-year old…)

They Can’t Bee Serious

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I work in a health food store that stocks a pretty good line of all kinds of different specialty honeys.)

Customer: *holds up jar* “Excuse me. This honey… is it from free-range bees?”

Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

Having Beef With Telling Porkies

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like a pound of chipped beef.”

Me: “So a pound of roast beef chipped?”

Customer: “No, chipped beef.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have roast beef and corned beef.”

(The lady dismisses me, and then scans our meat selection.)

Customer: “Here! Chopped ham! That’s what I’m looking for.”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, I thought you were looking for chipped beef.”

Customer: “That’s what that is. You take the chopped ham and chip it, and then it becomes chipped beef!”

A Hot Slice Of Justice

, | Grimes, IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We’re getting pretty close to closing time. We’ve barely had any orders today. I’m working the kitchen with two others. Everything’s been cleaned and there’s nothing to do until another order comes in, when suddenly a customer comes storming into the store, shouting things exceptionally hard to understand, and possibly drunk.)

Me: “Oh, lord, here we go…”

Customer: “Where’s the kitchen guy! I WANT TO SEE THE KI—”

Me: “Right here. You can stop yelling now. I can hear you.”

Customer: *does actually stop yelling, probably because he had to look up to me* “Where the f*** is my pizza? I ordered a pizza over an hour ago. Now, where is it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t—”

Customer: “WHERE IS MY ORDER!? I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Well, the manager is asleep. If you want, I can go back there and see if we have your order.”

Customer: “Yeah, you do that. I want my free f****** pizza!”

(He gives his name and address. I go to where we keep the order slips.)

Me: “Sir, there’s no slip under either of those.”

Customer: “WHERE IS MY GOD-D*** PIZZA! I ORDERED A PIZZA FROM THIS STORE!”

Coworker: “Hey, why don’t you call again?”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “If you did call this store, and we took your order, it was never filled. Go ahead and call the number again. If the phone rings, we’ll give you a free pizza.”

(He whipped out his phone, mashing the buttons until he got to the recent calls, and called the store. Our phone didn’t ring, but somebody on the other end picked up. He had placed an order at the store on the other side of town. The customer shoved his phone in his pocket and stormed out of the store without a word.)