Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Hurrying To Get You Nowhere

| Finland | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

(I work at a really tiny fast food kitchen in a really busy neighborhood, which means that the queues can get long at times. Four cars arrive at the drive-in at the same time, just after four different groups of customers have placed their exceptionally large orders. The guy in the second car gets frustrated and is on his phone whining to his friends, forgetting that I and my coworker can hear him through our headsets. As I walk outside to serve a customer his meal, the guy in the car starts yelling at me.)

Customer: “When the f*** is it my turn?! I want to place my order!”

(Fortunately it’s his turn next, but when he pulls up to the window to complete the transaction, he starts pulling out a sheet of coupons searching for the ones he wants to use, and he can’t seem to decide on whether to pay by debit or cash.)

Customer: “Why the f*** are you guys so slow? I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes. This is ridiculous!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, but I will serve those who came before you first. Besides, if you are in a hurry, I suggest that next time you use the time you have to wait wisely, and have your coupons and payment method at the ready. That speeds things up quite a bit!”

(After that he stayed quiet. I don’t feel guilty about being cheeky either, especially after I found out from my coworker that he’s an unemployed high school drop-out, who mooches off his parents and spends his days driving around his dad’s car!)

Just Plain Stealing

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am second in line at a coffee shop counter.)

Customer: “Can I please get a plain coffee, medium?”

Barista: “Sure, that’ll be [low amount].”

(The customer moves over and I am next.)

Me: “Medium pumpkin spice latte.”

(The barista takes my $5 or so and I move over with the first customer. She is standing really close to the place where the barista drops off the drink, hovering over the counter. I stand farther back to allow people to move between us to get to the seating area. Several minutes go by and the girl ahead of me leaves with a drink. I wait longer, noticing people behind me are getting their drinks before me.)

Me: *to barista making coffees* “Hello, I was wondering if you’ve made a medium pumpkin spice latte yet? I’ve been waiting for almost ten minutes.”

Barista #2: “Yes, I put that out a while ago. Is this drink not yours?”

(He gestured to the counter where a plain coffee was sitting. Apparently that girl deliberately ordered a cheap drink and stole the more expensive one when it came up so she didn’t have to pay full price.)

Sorry To Be A Burger

| South Bend, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am at a fairly old burger-and-shake place that my siblings and I love to go to. We have just ordered and are waiting for our food.)

Waitress: “Thanks for being patient. Here are your burgers and drinks will be right over.”

Brother: *to me* “Dude, I told her I don’t want lettuce or tomatoes on my burger.”

Me: “Well, tell her when she brings the drinks.”

(The waitress comes back with the drinks.)

Brother: “Excuse me; I didn’t want the lettuce or tomatoes on my sandwich.”

Waitress: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Just don’t eat that sandwich and I’ll bring over a new one right away.”

(While the waitress goes to get the other burger my brother eats original one. I look at him in shock. The waitress comes back with the new burger, and it looks like we are trying to scam her.)

Me: *to my brother* “I am never going to come back here with you ever again.”

Brain-Fried

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(The office building where I work has a deli in the basement. I’m standing in line behind a coworker. It is my coworker’s turn to order.)

Deli Attendant: “May I help you?”

Coworker: “Yes. Is there chicken in the chicken fried rice?”

Deli Attendant: “…”

Me: *to coworker* “Seriously?”

Coworker: “Yeah, that’s not what I meant to say. I don’t know what I wanted to ask.”

Frozen In A Repetitive Cycle

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in the meat department, and we regularly cut prepackaged meats for customers. An elderly lady walks up and sets something on the counter.)

Me: “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I need these cut in half!”

(She then gestures at what she set on the counter: frozen Cornish game hens.)

Me: “I can thaw those out and cut them in half for you, but it will take a bit of time.”

Customer: “No! I want them cut in half while they’re frozen! I don’t want them thawed!”

(Normally I could do such a thing, and have cut frozen chickens and turkeys in half with a bandsaw. The Cornish game hens, however, are far too small to safely cut with the bandsaw.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the game hens are too small—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut them in half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. They’re frozen—”

Customer: “So use that big saw! I know you cut frozen meat here!” *gestures at the bandsaw*

Me: “Yes, frozen things that are big enough to safely cut. These hens are too s—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut the chickens in half!”

Me: “The hens are too small—”

Customer: “Just cut them!”

Me: “I am not cutting my fingers off over a game hen! They’re too small to put on the bandsaw! I can either thaw them and cut them, or you’ll have to take them home whole.”

(The customer took them whole, still grumbling that I was being “negative” and should just cut the hens despite the very serious risk of also cutting my fingers off. A few days later I was told by a manager that she attempted to complain that I wouldn’t help her and had a bad attitude – but he sided with me not cutting my fingers off!)

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