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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

The Hangover

| Starkville, MS, USA | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I work reception in a hotel. After having a wedding party stay in the hotel overnight, a few members of said party approach me at the front desk.)

Female Patron: “Um, yeah… We can’t find our friend.”

Me: *somewhat taken aback* “You… can’t find him? What room was he staying in?”

Female Patron: “That’s just it. He’s my fiancé and we were sharing a room. He never came back last night after the reception and now we can’t find him.”

Me: “Does he have a cell phone? You could try calling him, see if he answers.”

(It’s determined by the missing patron’s friends that the situation is not necessarily an emergency just yet; they decide to wait a while for their buddy to turn up as they take turns trying to reach him on his cell. But after a few hours of luckless calling and searching, they return to the front.)

Female Patron: “We still can’t find him.

Me: “Let me call my manager.” *calls and explains the situation*

Manager: *on the phone* Oh, I know who you’re talking about. Someone found him passed out drunk in the middle of the third floor hallway last night, wearing nothing but boxer shorts and hugging a pizza box. He was too incoherent to tell us who he was here with or which room he was staying in, so we put him in a vacant room to sleep off the alcohol.”

(I relay the information to the concerned patrons and they go to retrieve their very hungover friend from his temporary room. Upon checkout…)

Drunk Patron: “Hey, has this ever happened before?”

Me: “Not that I can recall, sir.”

Drunk Patron: *grinning* “Awesome! First time for everything!”

Teaching Them About The Honey And The Bees

| Aurora, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m working as a cashier at a local health food store when I notice a gentleman standing in the honey section and staring at all of the jars looking really distraught. Eventually he comes to me for assistance.)

Me: “Hi! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Customer: “Do you have any bee honey?”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s right over here”

Customer: “No, I looked there already. All you have is clover honey.”

Me: “Sir, clover honey just means that the bees used mainly clover plants to make the honey.”

Customer: “No! My girlfriend told me to pick up some bee honey! I need honey made by bees not by clover!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, all honey comes from bees. Clover honey means that the bees used nectar from clover plants. Wildflower honey means the bees used nectar from wildflowers. Both honeys come from bees, just the taste is a little different.”

Customer: *stares blankly then narrows his eyes at me* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I assure you; it all comes from bees.”

Customer: “…I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you. If you buy some and it’s not what your girlfriend wants, you can return it.”

Customer: “…Okay. I’ll buy it. But I still don’t think it’s from bees.”

(He didn’t return it, so I guess he was happy with it!)

Tipped To Be Bad Customers From The Beginning

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a restaurant where management at times allows us to politely approach customers who tip us very poorly, as long as we ask what we may have done wrong and if there is anything we can improve upon for next time, etc. Nothing rude, just simply asking why the service was not up to certain standards. I have couple sit in my section for a couple hours. They leave me $4 on a $60 tab. It is very rare that I receive such a low tip as I never have any complaints about my service.)

Me: “Pardon me, I do not mean to be rude or disrespectful but I was wondering if there was anything wrong with my service today?”

Woman: “No. It was fine. Why?”

Me: “Well I was just curious because the tip left on the credit card receipt was for less than 10% and I was wondering if there was something I did wrong.”

Man: “Was 10% not good enough?”

Me: “Well, sir, $4 is not even 10% of $60. And 10% is a low tip which usually reflects poor service, and I was just asking if there was something I could improve on to make your next experience with us better.”

Man: “Well… you didn’t bring us glasses of water.”

Me: “Sir, you never asked me for waters.”

Woman: “Well, that should hardly matter.”

Me: “So… just to be clear… you tipped me 10% because I didn’t bring you something that you never asked me for?”

Woman: “We shouldn’t have to ask. You should just know what we want. We’re the customer and it’s your job to know how to make us happy.”

Me: “Ma’am, it is my job to bring you what you order… not to read your mind. I’m a waitress, not a psychic.”

(They complained to my manager and my punishment was a free shot and getting sent home early to try and forget people like that exist… Sometimes mouthing off has its benefits.)