Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Not Quite The Creme Brûlée Of The Crop

| Australia | Food & Drink

(A customer at a table I’m not serving beckons me over as I walk past.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Is this a creme brûlée?”

Me: “Yes. Is that what you ordered? Is something wrong with it?”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t what I thought a creme brûlée was. This is like… hard sugar with custard underneath… Am I supposed to pay for this?”

(She had already eaten three quarters of it at this point.)

Me: “I’ll go get our team leader to sort this out for you…”

(She then spent ages googling creme brûlée on her phone to try and prove that ‘hard sugar with custard underneath’ isn’t a creme brûlée.)

Wants a D’oh!-Nut

| Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

Customer: “What’s that doughnut?”

Me: “It’s a traditional cinnamon doughnut.”

Customer: “Is that the kind Homer Simpson likes? I want a Homer Simpson doughnut.”

Me: “I think he likes all types of doughnuts.”

Customer: *points to another doughnut* “What about that one? Does Homer Simpson like that kind?”

Me: “I guess so?”

Customer: *spying the strawberry iced doughnut* “That one! That’s the kind Homer Simpson likes! I want that one!”

No Sugar-Coating That Attitude

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at an international coffee shop, and I get a lot of customers that are used to a certain Canadian coffee chain.)

Customer: “I’ll just have a medium double-double.”

Me: “Sure! The cream and sugar are actually just behind you, sir, so I’ll just leave lots of room in the coffee cup and you can add as much as you like.”

Customer: “You mean I have to do your job for you?!”

They’re Totally Baked

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I work in a bakery in a larger grocery store. It is quite obvious that my corner of the store is a bakery as there is a large “bakery” sign above me and nothing but breads, cakes, and pastries all around. I see a woman standing at my counter.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Lady: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up an order for [Name].”

Me: “Sure, one sec.”

(I run and look at all the cakes in the cooler but see nothing under the name. So I check on the shelves in case it was a bread order, still nothing.)

Me: “I’m sorry; would it be under another name?”

Lady: “I’m picking it up for someone else.”

Me: “Was it a cake?”

Lady: “It was food.”

Me: “…”

Lady: “…”

Me: “What kind of food?”

Lady: “Uh, it was two burgers.”

This Item Is High In Metal

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a music/movie store. We often get calls to see if we have something in stock before the customer comes to pick it up, especially if it is an uncommon title.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have something?”

Me: “Sure! What is the title of it?”

Customer: “Creamed corn.”

Me: “Are you referring to the band Korn?”

Customer: “No, the food. Why would I want a band?”

Me: “Because this is a music store.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me if you’re out!”

Me: “But we’re always out…”

Customer: “You’re a lousy grocery store!” *hangs up*

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