Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity

GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I manage a large fast food chain that uses sea salt on their French fries. A customer orders her fries with no salt.)

Me: *handing her order to her* “Here’s your order. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “There’s no salt on these fries, right? I hope so. I’m allergic to salt!”

Me: *staring blankly* “Ma’am, do you want me to remake your burger then? We salt the patties. In fact, there is salt on everything that goes on your sandwich.”

Customer: “No. I’m only allergic to sea salt.”

Me: “You do realize that they’re both just sodium chloride, right? In fact, table salt has iodine added and is usually bleached, so if you had an allergy it would be more apt to be…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *grabs ketchup packets and storms out*

Me: *I grab a ketchup pack and begin reading packet ingredients to a coworker* “…tomato paste… corn syrup… sea salt… Huh, would you look at that. They put sea salt in the ketchup.”

Coworker: “Yeah, do you know what the clinical term is for someone who is allergic to salt?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Coworker: “Dead.”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6

, | San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a combo number three, please.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like that combo?”

Customer: “No tomatoes! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes!”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I’ll personally ensure there are no tomatoes on your sandwich. Now, what size did you want your combo?”

Customer: “Eh, medium, I guess. Oh! Can I get extra ketchup on that?”

Me: “…Sir, ketchup is made from tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “Sir, you’re allergic to tomatoes.”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s why I ordered it without tomatoes!”

Me: “But, you want extra ketchup—”

Customer: *interrupts, but still clueless* “Yeah!”

Me: “Which is made from tomatoes…”

Customer: “…”

(I gave him his total, he paid, and I served him his sandwich exactly as he ordered it.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

Expects To Be Spoon-Fed

| Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m a cashier at an ice cream/frozen yogurt franchise.)

Customer: “Can I get a small bowl of vanilla soft serve with cookie dough topping, and can you, like… mix it in?”

Me: “I can… give you a spoon!”

Bitter Sweet Tea

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(The company I work for used to have tea from a syrup and then decided to brew our own tea and had a flavored tea as a promotional item for the summer that lasted until late November. It is now February and is pretty much dead due to the miserable weather the night before. I have been taking orders and my manager has been cashing out cars at the first window while doing paperwork.)

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want a raspberry tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer have that flavor. We have sweet or unsweet tea.”

Customer: “I want a peach tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have sweet or unsweet tea.”

Customer: “What is most popular?”

Me: “Probably the sweet tea.”

Customer: “I’ll take a large of that.”

Me: *rings it up and then hands it out when they get to the window*

Customer: “This is what I think of your sweet tea.” *doesn’t even bother to take a sip before he takes the lid off and proceeds to pour it out in the drive thru, splashing it all over the drive thru window and then drives off*

Next Customer: “What in the world was that about?”

Me: “That is what I would call a tea party for one.”

His Manliness Is The Cream Of The Crop

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting in line at a coffee shop:)

Server: “Good morning, sir. What can I get you?”

Guy Ahead of Me: *very gruffly* “I don’t know. I hate all these choices. Just gimme a plain, brewed coffee. Black. And don’t put any of that sissy stuff in it. I don’t want flavors or whipped cream or any of that crap.”

Server: *a little taken aback, but polite* “Okay, sir.”

Me: “I’d like a double, tall, non-fat latte and, because I’m secure in my masculinity, add some whipped cream.”

(She gave me a discount.)

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