icon_fooddrink

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Their Understandings Are Chalk And Cheese

| USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, do you want to try this four-year aged cheddar?”

Customer: “Sure!” *tastes cheese* “That’s pretty good. Is it really four years old?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Oh, no, we actually age it like a month and then sell it to you guys. We call it four year aged cheddar for fun.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s so neat! I never would have guessed that.”

(The customer wasn’t sarcastic. I had to explain the process of aging cheese to her.)

Wasn’t The Number One Problem At The Old Place

| Eugene, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I recently switched from one big office supply chain store to another. Today is my first real day alone in the print center. A mother and her two kids come in near the end of my shift to make copies. I am working on another job behind the counter and everything is going smoothly until I hear her start whispering in a panicked tone.)

Customer: “Put that away! You can’t just do that wherever!” *pause* “What?!”

(At this point I’m curious and look up and see nothing wrong at first, but then I notice the giant wet spot on the carpet. Her four-year-old has just decided it would be fun to whip it out and pee all over the cart, his sister, and my self serve copy area’s floor.)

Customer: “Oh, he was just having some fun, but you should probably clean it up yourself since you are paid to deal with this kind of stuff, and I’m in a huge hurry.”

Me: “What?!”

Customer: *leaves, but not before buying her son every candy bar at the checkout*

Me: *radio* “Hey, Boss, so this just happened…”

Boss: “Are you serious?!”

Me: “Yep. What’s the protocol with this kind of stuff? This never happened to me at [Old Office Supply Store].”

Boss: “Well, welcome to [New Company], where s*** gets weird. Grab some disinfectant and a towel.”

Me: “S***.”

They Must Have Misunderstood Her Delivery

| CA, USA | Food & Drink, Transportation

(We get a large delivery order for a wealthy building near NYU. A couple, two white people that looked to be in their late 40s in expensive clothes, answer the door. Behind them there is a buffet set up and people mingling.)

Woman: “Hi! Come on in!”

(I enter, putting my bags on the table. I’m about to tell them the total, but they wave me off.)

Woman: “How do you know [Host]?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m the delivery girl.”

(They laugh.)

Man: ”We know [Host] from the English department.”

Woman: “Well, I knew her at Columbia undergrad, so way back!”

Me: “Sure. I’m studying English at Hunter.”

Man: “Great! Here, let us take your coat. What’re you drinking?”

(I keep my coat and have a beer. We talk about what a drag it is reading “Heart of Darkness” every semester. The host appears.)

Man: “[Host], do you know [My Name]? She’s at Hunter studying English.”

Host: “Are you John’s girlfriend?”

Me: “No, I’m the delivery girl.”

Host: *laughs* “Have some food! Let me know when [Pizza Place] gets here. They’re always so slow Friday nights.”

Me: “[Pizza Place] has a lot of customers; it’s nothing personal. It’s [Total], and I figure I already drank my tip.”

(They laugh again, but now the host is confused. He can see the bags splashed with my restaurant’s logo behind me.)

Host: “You’re with [Pizza Place]?”

Me: “Yes. It’s [Total], please.”

(She leaves to get her purse. The couple smiles at me awkwardly and then wanders off. I pocket another beer. The host gives me $80 and good wishes for my finals. I still like to treasure the looks on their faces today!)