Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Sadly Such Customers Are Not Rare

| USA | Food & Drink

(Being a butcher shop, most of our meats are quite obviously raw. I am helping a customer pick out a steak.)

Customer: “I want the rare one.”

The Cold Reality Of Drinking Alone

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I have had a long day at work and am stopping by a sake brewery on my way home to pick up some for the weekend.)

Me:” I’d like one… no, make that two large bottles of plum sake.”

Salesman: *while bagging my order* “How are you going to drink that?”

Me: *assuming he is asking how I can manage to drink three liters of sake on my own* “Hey! I have friends!”

Salesman: “I prefer to drink it warm, but some people like to drink it cold.”

(Turns out he was asking at what temperature I was going to serve it!)

Third Drink, Second Day, First-Class A**-Hole

| Westlock, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Popular

(A very popular and well-known coffee chain had finally opened up in town. I visited on its second day. Needless to say, the place is packed, and since all the employees are newly hired, they’re doing their darndest to keep up. The customer ahead of me decides his coffee isn’t to his liking for the third time, berates the clerk for a third time, and sends back his coffee a third time. While the clerk goes to remake his coffee yet again, he turns to me.)

Customer: “Is it me, or is this the worst [Coffee Chain] you’ve ever been to?”

Me: “Well, it is just their second day.”

Customer: “What, the clerk? Well, then, d***, they’ve got to start training them better.”

Me: “Not the clerk. This is the second day ever for the whole store.”

Customer: “Really? Wow, that would explain why I never saw it before today…”

(When the clerk came back with the coffee, the customer quickly apologized, paid, and hustled out the door.)

Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| Finland | Food & Drink, Popular

(I end up having this same conversation way too often with customers who order a bottle of wine, especially if they order it at the bar-counter.)

Me: “Hi, what will you be having?”

Customer: “A bottle of [Wine].”

Me: “All right, and how many glasses do you need for that?”

Customer: “No, I want a WHOLE bottle of [Wine].”

Me: “Yes, I get that, but how many glasses do you need.”

Customer: “Not by the glass, a bottle!”

Me: *a bit fed up* “Okay, so, do you intend to drink it straight from the bottle or maybe I should just pop in a couple of straws?”

(It then dawns upon the customer why we have been going in circles for a while.)

Customer: “Oh… Uh, [amount] of glasses.”

‘That One’ Time It Almost Worked

| TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(A customer and her young daughter are looking at the jewelry. I go over and ask if they’d like to see any pieces.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Yes, please. Could I see the white gold ring in the box closest to you, third row, on the left?”

Me: “No problem! You know, I love how you described it to me. Most adults just wave vaguely and say ‘that one.’”

Customer: “I want to see one, too.” *waves vaguely* “That one.”

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