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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Olive To Regret That

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

(I am working with my sister, and she is taking an order over the phone.)

Sister: “And will you be paying with cash, credit, or debit?”

(She pauses as the customer answers.)

Sister: “And just to make sure, that was black olives, not green, right?”

(She finishes taking the order.)

Sister: “I asked her if she wanted black olives instead of green to make sure I got the order right, but she just shouted “CASH!!” at me. I hope she likes black olives.”

The Strife Of A Housewife

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Technology

(I’m a customer shopping for fridges. I find one I like and go to find an employee to purchase the fridge. The only employee who handles fridges is talking to another customer.)

Customer: “So, this fridge… keeps things… cold?” *he asks very skeptical*

Employee: “Yes, sir, the general point of all fridges are to keep things cold.”

Customer: “No. My wife and I used to have a fridge that cooks things.”

(Not only is the employee just stunned by this statement, but everyone around who hears this pulls a face.)

Employee: “A fridge… that cooks things?”

Customer: “Yes, you put stuff like vegetables, milk, and chicken in it. And when you take the chicken or vegetables out they’re all cooked.”

Employee: “So they’re all cooked and ready to eat right now?”

Customer: “No! What do you think I’m dumb or something?”

Employee: “No, I’m just trying to find the particular item you’re looking for… So, you put in raw chicken and veggies and it cooks them automatically?”

Customer: “Yes. Put them in raw, and then they come out cooked.” *explains as if the employee is slow*

Employee: “Does it cook the milk as well?”

Customer: “NO! That would be dumb. It would just spoil instantly. It just keeps the drinks cool.”

Employee: “Hmmm, I can’t seem to think of the item you’re looking for. Let me get someone a bit more knowledgeable.”

(Hearing this, I come to realize that apparently there are other employees I could ask for help, but at this point I’m really curious as to what this man is talking about. The employee shortly returns with an older employee.)

Old Employee: “So you put in raw food and it comes out cooked right?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Old Employee: “Okay… and when you put in drinks or milk it keeps them cold right?”

Customer: “Yes.” *looks at younger employee* “See, he clearly knows what I’m talking about.”

Old Employee: “So, out of curiosity, when your wife takes out the cooked food… did you by chance re-heat it?”

Customer: “Well, duh…”

Old Employee: “Duh what, sir?”

Customer: “Of course she had to heat it up. The fridge kept it cold like it was suppose too. DUH!”

(It is at this moment where the customer’s wife has come to re-join her husband after looking at other appliances.)

Customer’s Wife: “So, did you have any luck finding a new fridge, hun?”

Customer: “No… I tried to find one that cooks like our old one but they don’t have it.”

Customer’s Wife: “A fridge that… cooks?”

Customer: “Yeah, just like our old one. You know, you put the chicken in raw and you take it back out later before dinner and it’s all cooked. Just like last night.”

Customer’s Wife: “Hunny… I cooked that chicken and put it back in the fridge. Fridges don’t cook food. They just keep them cold.”

Customer: *turns beet red in embarrassment as he finally realizes just how stupid of a moment he had* “Um, I think it’s time to leave.”

(The husband left in a hurried walk, with his wife in tow saying, ‘But what about the fridge, Hunny? What about the fridge?’)

Causing An Infraction

| Nashville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

(As at many restaurants in the South, we have extremely sweet iced tea. It is common for guests to order “1/2 & 1/2 tea.”)

Me: “What would you like to drink?”

Guest: “I want some 1/2 & 1/2 tea, but I want more sweet than unsweet.”

Me: “That’s not how fractions work…”

A Divisive Question

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a clerk stocking groceries. A newer, less experienced clerk approaches me to ask a question.)

Coworker: “Do we carry something called divided oil? A customer needs it for a recipe and I’ve never heard of it.”

(I went over to the baking aisle and proceeded to explain to the middle-aged female customer and my teenaged coworker what it meant when a recipe calls for one and a half cups oil, divided.)

When The Spice Isn’t Nice

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I have worked in a Thai restaurant for six years and never really came into a difficult customer before. I am training a friend of mine and watch her take a customer’s order on her own.)

Friend: *smiles* “Hello. Are you ready to order?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like Chicken Spicy Basil, but I do not want the spice in there.”

Friend: “I’m not sure that’s possible, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, it is. Just don’t add the spice to the dish. I don’t want any spice in there.”

Friend: “May I have a moment? I need to talk to the head waitress.”

(She comes over to me without a word, because I was listening. It was the strangest request I have ever received.)

Me: “Miss, we can’t take the spice out of the Spicy Basil sauce. It’s not possible once it’s already made.”

Customer: “Yes, it is, and I don’t want the spice in it at all. Figure it out for yourself.”

(Not knowing what to do, I went and talked to the cook, who was also my older cousin. She was really confused, but ended up using a different sauce for the dish. That customer gave us a bad review on some site, calling us liars and bad names, which actually caused no new customers to come in for a week.)

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