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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Why Did They Have To Order Sausage?

| San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I’ve been serving at a loosely fine-dining establishment for a couple of months. Before this job, I worked at a corporate chain restaurant, so I’m still a little more enthusiastic than the job calls for and can talk a bit much.)

Customer #1: “How big are the pizzas?”

Me: “They’re about 12 inches.”

Customer #1: “Oh. Will that feed two people?”

Me: “Usually. Some people eat it all by themselves, but two people could easily split the pizza if you ordered an appetizer or salad or something as well.”

Customer #1: “Okay, we’ll get the pepperoni and sausage, and two Caesars.”

(Once the pizza is ready, I take it out to the table. Along the way, another one of my tables that had decided against the pizza stopped me to look at it.)

Customer #2: “Wow! That pizza is actually pretty big! We should have gotten one!”

Me: “I know! 12 inches doesn’t sound all that big until it’s right there in front of you! I guess you gotta see it to realize how big it really is.”

(My eyes widen and my face instantly turns red as I realize the dirty way my statement could be misconstrued, so I quickly take the pizza and drop it off at the right table.)

Customer #1: “Oh, honey, I don’t think we even needed to order those salads! This pizza is much bigger than I thought!”

Me: “Uh, huh… yep, it’s big. Enjoy!”

Coupon Complication

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

(We have several coupons out. One is for a “two can dine.” This means the customer gets two full combos for a set price, in our case $10 + tax.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to use this.”

(Presents coupon.)

Me: “No problem; we can do that for you.”

(The transaction goes well until it’s time for him to pay.)

Me: “That will be [total], please.”

(His total is $11 and change. He hands me $1.50 and the coupon.)

Me: “Sorry, I still need another $10 from you.”

Customer: “No, I gave you the coupon.”

Me: “You did, but you still owe me $10.”

Customer: “The coupon says $10 off. I gave you the coupon so I only owe you the difference.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that isn’t how it works. This coupon lets you buy two combos and you only pay $10 instead of the regular $17 or so.”

Customer: “But it says right there: take $10 off.”

(This goes on for a few minutes, with the supervisor on shift explaining it to him as well. Eventually he leaves without buying anything.)

Customer: *on his way out* “Bunch of morons. Your other store wouldn’t do it right, either.”

Needs A Medium To Understand This Order

| Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m order-taker at the drive-thru.)

Customer: “I’d like a small-medium [Drink].”

Me: *puzzled* “A small-medium [Drink]?”

Customer: *getting really irritated* “YES. A small-medium [Drink]!”

Me: “What size would you like? Small, or medium?”

Customer: “Yes.”