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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Icy Receptions

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Vanilla latte.”

Me: “Would you like that hot or iced?”

Customer #1: *blank stare*

Me: “Ma’am? Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, medium vanilla latte. Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Sarah.”

Me: *it clicks* “Oh, your name is Sarah. Okay, is this hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “I don’t need a receipt.” *begins attempting to swipe card*

(I give up, total the order, and write her name on a hot cup. The next customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Large caramel latte.”

Me: “Is this hot or iced?”

Customer #2: “Phillip.” *begins to swipe card*

Coworker: “And so sets the tone of the day.”

(The first customer comes back in.)

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME, I WANTED THIS ICED!”

Me: “Of course you did.”

Set Up To Be Upset

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I answer our phone at work. A customer wants to place a catering order. After working with her to copy down her order, she asks for a total. I have to go through a longer process to actually enter the order into our system, so I call her back.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I’m calling to let you know your total will be [price].”

Customer: “That’s not right. I got [price].”

(I look over what she had requested for her order. I realize that one of the things she asked for was a premium item that wasn’t the same price as the rest of the catering sandwiches.)

Me: “Oh, the two chicken veggies are a little more than the regular sandwich prices.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not right! I called yesterday and spoke to a girl who said that the chicken didn’t cost extra.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I’m not sure why they told you that chicken doesn’t cost extra but it does. The veggies normally come without it and adding it adds an additional charge.”

Customer: “The girl I spoke to yesterday said they were just additions, so they didn’t cost extra!”

Me: “Well, they are additions. ALL additions aside from our basic toppings cost extra.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me the chicken will cost extra!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s always cost extra. Do you know who you spoke to?”

Customer: “No, I don’t remember her name!”

(I list a few females names that may have answered the phone. She doesn’t recognize any of them.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but there may just have been a miscommunication. Perhaps she misunderstood your question or misspoke, because I can’t imagine any of our employees who you would have spoken to yesterday who would mistakenly tell anyone that chicken is a free addition.”

Customer: “I’m really upset that you’re telling me that the chicken is extra!”

Me: “…I’m sorry that there was a miscommunication about it, but chicken has always been extra.”

Customer: “I’m very upset about this! So, what, how much extra is it, what, two dollars?”

Me: “Yes, it would be two dollars total extra. It’s a dollar extra for chicken per sandwich.”

(The customer didn’t speak for a moment, presumably adding up the price again. We went over the prices twice and she asked for me to give her the total again. We eventually finalized everything. I didn’t work the next day, but apparently she sent someone else to go pick up the order. Apparently, she also wrote a customer complaint about how upset she was that chicken costs money!)

They Fit The Bill

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m a new waitress at a sports bar. Today is my first day with a full section, and it got taken over by a party of about 45 people, who pulled tables from other sections into mine, so I’m handling 20 more people than I’d planned on. They are all loud, rude, and demanding. I bring them their checks, which I split individually, per their request.)

Customer #1: “Actually could you put her fries on my check? I told her I’d pay for hers!”

(The woman he’s pointing to ordered a combo, so it’s odd that he’d offer to pay for just fries.)

Me: “Sir, she ordered a combo. Did you mean someone else?”

Customer #1: “Nope! Put her fries from the combo on my bill, and the pretzel bites I ordered on HIS bill!” *he points to a random man across the table*

Me: “Er… sir, I can’t really split the cost of fries from a combo to be the same amount of a single order of fries, they’re different prices and our computers can’t do th—”

Customer #2: “Oh, enough! You’ve been so slow! You can handle this task! Now my lemonade, my wife is picking up. That table over there, I’m picking up all of their food EXCEPT two of the drinks.”

(By this time, I have 45 people requesting ridiculous and borderline impossible split checks. My manager gets called over, and she doesn’t quite understand the problem, and orders me to split the checks “correctly” for the customers. I get so overwhelmed at the computer that I start welling up tears. Suddenly, a stranger comes up with a few $100 bills.)

Stranger: “They’re a**-holes. I’ve been there. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’m paying for their tab. I’ll tell your manager. Keep the change.”

(The 45 customers leave and loudly remark about what a bad waitress I am, but I ignore them and count out my 50% tip on such a huge bill!)

Must Feel Like A Real Dingleberry

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our fruit flavors for our milkshakes are described as “real fruit shakes” on our menu.)

Customer: *smugly* “Real fruit shakes, huh? Tell me, can you even make a ‘fake’ fruit shake?”

Coworker: “Sure you can, if you use artificial flavorings.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Then what makes your shakes ‘real’?”

Coworker: *holds up our actual strawberries* “This is actual fruit. Anything else for you, sir?”

(He furrowed his brow and paid.)

Getting Sour Over The Sauerkraut

, | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Our spicy mustard is clearly labeled spicy mustard, and I generally clarify, when someone asks for deli mustard, that they want the spicy and not something else. No one has EVER had a problem with this. Our reuben sandwiches – which are half size, even for a “whole” – are also premade except for a little cup of sauerkraut and thousand island, which is also premade.)

Customer: “I want two reubens.”

Me: *looking for the kits underneath the sub station*

Customer: “Oh, and I want one half turkey.”

Me: “We can’t split meats, and the reubens aren’t very big to start with.”

(I put one on top of the station.)

Customer: “That’s not what I want! I want it on the foot long roll!”

Me: “Sure, we can do that.”

(I verify with the manager that we’d charge as a special order, instead of the reuben. It actually ends up cheaper.)

Customer: “Actually, I want one of them turkey.”

(I slice the meats, get her bread, and start with mayo or mustard as the usual, which is not standard on a reuben.)

Customer: “Mayo on the roast beef, mustard on the turkey.”

Me: *reaching for the yellow mustard, about to squeeze it on* “I’m sorry, did you want a roast beef instead?”

Customer: “Deli mustard! No, I want corn beef!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Spicy mustard? And we have corned beef here. I thought you said roast beef.”

Customer: “Well, everywhere else calls it deli mustard.”

Me: “Sure miss, I understand. Our label just says spicy mustard, see? I just want to make sure I get the right thing on your sandwich. Sauerkraut and thousand island?”

Customer: “Yes, a lot of sauerkraut and a little dressing. On the reuben, not the turkey.”

(Unwilling to make another comment that might upset her, I use the sauerkraut dressing kits on the reuben, and go to toast both sandwiches.)

Customer: “You didn’t put the sauerkraut on the turkey!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought you said you didn’t want any on the turkey?” *I get the kits and put it on the turkey as well*

Customer: “We don’t seem to be communicating very well. You got very upset that I called the deli mustard ‘deli mustard’ and insisted I call it spicy mustard and even shoved it in my face! And you didn’t hear me say about the sauerkraut!”

(Note at this time, she’s changed her mind half a dozen times on bread, cheese, meats, mayo/ mustard, and now the sauerkraut but she seems completely unaware that she keep changing her mind, and clearly believes everything is my fault for not knowing what she meant when she says something different.)

Me: “My deepest apologies, ma’am. I’m sorry I’m just a bit confused. You changed your mind a few times so I want to make sure I get your order right.” *I get the sandwiches out and take them to the veggie station* “What would you like?”

(At this point, we go through a dozen veggies, where I keep having to clarify both sandwiches, or which sandwich, and she’ll tell me to put something on that I’ve already put on, almost like she can’t see it at all, even though she is staring intently at it.)

Customer: *at the end, I’m about to wrap it up* “You didn’t put thousand island on it!”

Customer #2: “Hey, is there someone else that can help me! I’ve been waiting here forever!”

Me: *to the first customer* “Yes, I did, ma’am, it was mixed in with the sauerkraut kits I put on earlier.” *to Customer #2* “Miss, we all have customers right now but we will be with you as soon as we can.”

Customer: *mumbles* “Well, I didn’t want the dressing.”

Customer #2: *glares*

Me: “The sauerkraut kits were premade and out of my control. That’s what comes on a reuben sandwich, and you said you wanted dressing earlier and just asked me why I didn’t put it on.”

(I wrapped up the totally disgusting looking reuben and turkey/sauerkraut with loads of veggies sandwiches  before she can mutter another word, and I hit the button for the more expensive brand and hand them off. She glared at me, opened her mouth and started complaining that they weren’t labeled reubens (which at that point, they weren’t). I heard her yelling about it to the air as I helped Customer #2, who as it turned out just wanted something for the self-serve hot case, but apparently didn’t notice the lack of glass front. I went around to the back and promptly burst into tears at getting yelled at over spicy mustard.)

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