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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Won’t Get Her Pie In The Sky

| WA, Australia | Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel

(I work in an Australian department store which has a food hall. An elderly customer approaches our bakery which sells fresh cakes and pies.)

Customer: “Hello, dearie, I’d like a steak and kidney pie.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t sell steak and kidney pies, but we do have a selection of others.”

(I proceed to read the selection to the customer.)

Customer: “I’ll have the beef and mushroom pie, then.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

Customer: “Can you pack it well? I want to take it on the plane.”

Me: “The plane?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m flying back to London today.”

Me: “You want to take a fresh pie with meat products in it on an international flight back to England?”

Customer: “Yes, of course.”

Me: “You can’t take food that isn’t sealed out of the country and into another one.”

Customer: “Of course I can. Just sell me the pie”

(I sold the customer the pie and I still wonder how far she made it before customs stopped her.)

Brain-Fried

| Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink

(I am ordering fries and a drink. I am in front of an older lady, who also orders fries in her meal.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you?

Me: “Hi, I’ll have a medium fry and a mocha frappe.”

(I finish my order, for here, and step aside to wait for my order to be completed.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a quarter pounder meal. Make it large, please.”

(She also finishes her order and steps aside next to me to wait for her food. There are three trays waiting to be filled when an employee places a medium fry on my tray. After a few moments the lady takes a couple fries from my tray, not realizing whose order they are from. Trying not to be rude, I don’t step in right away. An employee then places a quarter pounder and large fries on her tray. The lady suddenly realizes her mistake.)

Customer: “Oh, my, is this yours?”

Me: “Um, yeah I think so.”

Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you say something?! Here, take my large fries since I just ate out of yours. I am so sorry!”

(She switches our fries before I can even respond.)

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Customer: “No, I’m the one who ate your fries!”

Having A Brain Freeze

| AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We are an ice cream shop but we have a selection of frozen yogurt and lactose-free ice cream as well.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between ice cream and frozen yogurt?”

Me: “Well, ice cream uses a heavy cream base while frozen yogurt uses a yogurt base.”

Customer: “So the frozen yogurt is actually yogurt?”