Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Reached Your Tea Total, Part 4

| WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My manager takes an order at the front counter, then comes over to tell me the details.)

Manager: “You see that tea order? They want a couple extra teabags, and a large take away cup.”

(I go to rummage through the cupboard to find the boxes of tea for the rarely-ordered green tea they ask for.)

Customer: *clears throat*

Me: “I’ll just be a moment, sorry!”

Customer: “Tea!”

Me: “Oh, you’re waiting on the tea? Did you want two or three tea bags?”

Customer: “Three.”

Me: “Great, I’m just working on that now.”

(I get the teabags, and the cup, and as I’m moving towards the hot water:)

Customer: “White!”

Me: “No problem.”

(Then, as I am putting the water in it:)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, I’ll put milk in it; don’t worry.”

Customer: “Five sugars. White!”

Me: “You want five sugars?”

Customer: “Yes. And white!”

Me: “All right, just a moment.”

(Before I add the milk, I go to put the sugars in so that they can dissolve in the water properly. After three spoonful’s of sugar, she practically shouts:)

Customer: “That’s enough.”

(I go to stir the sugar in.)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, just a moment.”

(I pour the milk in, stop when she says, and hand it to her. She walks off without a word, and goes and chats perfectly normally to the manager.)

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 3
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2
Reached Your Tea Total

Getting To The Real Sauce Of The Problem

| FL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Popular

(I work at a restaurant known for our fish and chips, which is made with codfish. I am serving a family of five and taking a teenage boy’s order.)

Me: “And what would you like?”

Customer: “The fish and chips. But I don’t want any cod with it.”

Me:” Excuse me?”

Customer: “No cod.”

(I’m really confused at this point and thinking the kid just wants a pile of fried batter.)

Me: “So, uhm, how exactly did you want it?”

Customer’s Dad: “You know cod is the fish, right?”

Customer: “You mean it’s not the sauce that comes with it?”

Customer’s Dad: “No, that’s tartar sauce.”

Customer: “Oh! No tartar sauce, please.”

Your Definition Is Not Current

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(We have an item called the “Chicken Salad;” however, it doesn’t specify what the ingredients of the chicken salad are. I overhear this exchange from my manager and a customer…)

Customer: “Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: *shocked* “What?”

Customer: “Bugs. Does your chicken salad have bugs in it?”

Manager: “What? No! OF course not; it doesn’t have bugs.”

Customer: “Oh, wait! I meant raisins!”

Manager: “Oh! Yes, it has raisins in it.”

When Single Becomes Double

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Love/Romance, Popular

(I’m working as a barista in a coffee shop. A man comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “Can I get an Americano with a single shot of espresso?”

(I send his drink into the queue and my coworker makes the drink while I continue to take orders.)

Coworker: “I got a hot Americano, single!”

Teenage Girl: *waiting for her drink* “I’ll take him!”

(The man laughed and high fived the girl before taking his coffee and leaving. My coworker and I had a good laugh about the encounter.)

Not A People Person

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A regular customer we’ve nicknamed “her royal highness” waves me over.)

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

Highness: “One of you was supposed to bring me a yogurt!”

Me: “Okay, which one of us was it?”

Highness: “I don’t know! I don’t pay attention to you people! They’re barely even people to me!”

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