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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Expects To Be Spoon-Fed

| Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m a cashier at an ice cream/frozen yogurt franchise.)

Customer: “Can I get a small bowl of vanilla soft serve with cookie dough topping, and can you, like… mix it in?”

Me: “I can… give you a spoon!”

Bitter Sweet Tea

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(The company I work for used to have tea from a syrup and then decided to brew our own tea and had a flavored tea as a promotional item for the summer that lasted until late November. It is now February and is pretty much dead due to the miserable weather the night before. I have been taking orders and my manager has been cashing out cars at the first window while doing paperwork.)

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want a raspberry tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer have that flavor. We have sweet or unsweet tea.”

Customer: “I want a peach tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have sweet or unsweet tea.”

Customer: “What is most popular?”

Me: “Probably the sweet tea.”

Customer: “I’ll take a large of that.”

Me: *rings it up and then hands it out when they get to the window*

Customer: “This is what I think of your sweet tea.” *doesn’t even bother to take a sip before he takes the lid off and proceeds to pour it out in the drive thru, splashing it all over the drive thru window and then drives off*

Next Customer: “What in the world was that about?”

Me: “That is what I would call a tea party for one.”

His Manliness Is The Cream Of The Crop

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting in line at a coffee shop:)

Server: “Good morning, sir. What can I get you?”

Guy Ahead of Me: *very gruffly* “I don’t know. I hate all these choices. Just gimme a plain, brewed coffee. Black. And don’t put any of that sissy stuff in it. I don’t want flavors or whipped cream or any of that crap.”

Server: *a little taken aback, but polite* “Okay, sir.”

Me: “I’d like a double, tall, non-fat latte and, because I’m secure in my masculinity, add some whipped cream.”

(She gave me a discount.)

Still Got Meat Between Their Ears

, | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m taking drive-thru orders over the speaker box. This particular fast-food chain is known for making burgers “your way” – adding or removing condiments, no matter what the request. Condiments such as lettuce and tomato are free within reason, but some customers try to get away with ordering a plain burger, and then requesting all of the condiments be added, assuming they will get a burger with everything for the price of a plain one.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Place your order when you’re ready, please.”

Customer: “I’ll have a hamburger, please.”

Me: “Sure thing; one hamburger is $1.10. Is there anything e-”

Customer: *”On the hamburger, I’d like cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise.”

Me: “No worries. That’s one Junior [Brand-name] burger with cheese. That’s $2.85; is there anything else?”

Customer: “… Oh, uh, I’ve changed my mind. How much is a five inch bun on its own?”

Me: “60c.”

Customer: “I’ll get a five inch bun, with sauce, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese.”

Me: “Sure thing. So, that’s a [full-priced burger] minus the meat. That’ll be $3.85… Drive through, please.”

Customer: “D*** IT! You guys are meant to be stupid high-school drop-outs that are easy to fool. Just give me the burger with the meat on it then, thanks.”

Big Box Of Bad

| MA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(My mother and I are having lunch at a chain restaurant where we’ve always gotten decent food and great service. The lady at the next table keeps calling our waitress over to complain about her food, to the point where it’s getting on my mom’s nerves. The waitress is apologetic and gets her bill adjusted for her.)

Waitress: “…and here’s your dessert. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.

Lady: “Thank you. Oh, and can I get a box for the rest of this?”

(Mom and I exchange a look.)

Mom: “That bad, huh?”

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