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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

The Clean Bill Of The Health Club

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We make various frozen drinks made from primarily milk, ice, and fruit flavored syrup. We have real fruit available and some customers request we make them with that so they are healthier. Note: we are also located in a mall.)

Customer: “Can I get one of those frozen drinks?”

(I start making her drink and begin adding syrup.)

Customer: “Oh, no, can you make it like they do at the health club?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want it made with real fruit?”

Customer: “No, I just want it made like they do in the health club.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know how they make drinks. I didn’t even know we had a health club in the mall.”

Customer: “No, it’s not in the mall. It’s the health club! Can’t you just make it like they do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ve never been to your health club and really don’t know how they make their drinks.”

(She leaves, looking dejected.)

Customer: “I just wanted it like they make them in the health club.”

A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

| Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m handing out boxed lunches at a construction site. A customer walks up.)

Customer: “How does this work?” *holds up a mayo packet*

Me: “Rip it open a little bit and squeeze it.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Tear the corner.”

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Here, I’ll do it for you.”

(I tear off the corner and give it to him. The customer then bends over and holds the mayo packet in his hand the way you would a can of soda. It’s also upside down – so before I can say anything, he squeezes as hard as he can and sprays the mayo in his face.)

Customer: “HEY! This thing didn’t work!”

Me: “You held it upside down, sir.” *I hold out a napkin but he just glares*

Customer: “Your fault! Your mayo packet was broken!”

(I honestly wish he did that with a mustard packet…)

Related:
A Big Mayo No No

Doesn’t Have A Liquor Sense

| Northampton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work in a grocery store with a liquor store attached. You can pay for groceries in the liquor store, but alcohol can only be purchased in the liquor store. A customer comes up with a bottle of liquor.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you have to pay for that in the liquor store.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Even though the two stores are connected, the liquor license only applies to the liquor store.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Can’t you just sell it to me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the register won’t let it go through. And anyway, I’m only 17 so it would be illegal for me to sell you this.”

Customer: “You know, you’d think that with the technology we have we’d have figured this out by now!”

Me: “Well, it’s not really a technological issue. It’s against the law…”

Customer: “The customer is always right!”

You Gave Me Tuna Much

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Coworker: *to Manager* “We just got a customer complaint. He said we put two scoops of tuna on his sandwich instead of one.”

Me: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a customer complaining because they got extra!”

Manager: “I know, really!”

Blow The Lid Off

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am covering drive-thru on my own for a little bit, due to extreme traffic at our front counter. I take a woman’s order, make her drink, and cash her out. When handing the coffee to a customer, I hold it on the top so they can get a grip on the cup itself. It makes it a lot easier for the customer, and it means that our hands don’t touch and cross-contaminate.)

Me: *hands the woman her coffee* “Have a—”

Woman: *glares at me* “You touched the lid. You can never touch my coffee lid.”

(I made her coffee. Which includes putting the lid on, and writing how much cream and sugar I put in it.)

Me: *too puzzled to speak*

Woman: “You can never touch my coffee lid. Now I need a new one. DOMED.”

(I grab her a different lid (my hand touches it, and it doesn’t bother her), and pass it out to her. She tsks at me, and drives off, repeating ‘You don’t ever touch my lid.’ She’s a regular customer, and she does this to everyone.)

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