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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

The Fruit Salad Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Tree

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m serving a mother and her young son.)

Me: *to son* “What salads would you like on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, he won’t eat salads. I don’t know why!”

Me: “That’s okay. Would you like any salads on your sub?”

Mother: “Oh, no, I don’t eat salad.”

Me: “…”

Mexi-can’t Make Them Understand

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work in a Mexican restaurant.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Where are our burritos?”

Me: “I’ll just check with our kitchen. I’ll be back in a moment!”

(I check with the kitchen and there is no order for that table so I check our computers and no order has been put through; my manager tells me that they haven’t ordered because they have only just sat down.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but no order has been placed for this table. If you remember what kind of burritos you ordered, I can place the order now.”

Customer: “We just want the burritos.”

Me: “Yes, well, we have five different burritos.” *points to menu, which lists our burritos and has a picture of one*

Customer: “No, no, the burrito in the BOWL.”

Me: “A burrito in a bowl?”

(Another waitress walks out with the complimentary bowls of corn chips and salsa, and places them on the table.)

Customer: “Finally! See, this is a burrito.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you said BURrito, not DORito.”

Customer: “No, this is a BURrito.”

Not Paid Enough Peanuts For This

| Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Our store has a decent-sized bulk section where customers can get whatever amount of certain products and pay for them by weight. Each bin in the bulk section has a clearly marked PLU number, as well as pens and tags available for the customer to write down the number so the cashier knows what they are buying. One day a woman comes into my line with a bag of peanuts from the bulk section. We have at least half a dozen different types of peanuts, and I can’t tell which kind these are by looking at them.)

Me: *sets the bag on the scale and looks for a tag* “I’m sorry ma’am, did you happen to get the PLU code for these?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay… Um… Do you know what kind of peanuts they are?”

Customer: “No, I don’t. Just ring me up already!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t ring them up without the PLU code. Do you at least know how much they were? I can put them in by the price.”

Customer: “NO!” *picks up the bag and throws them at me* “I DON’T WANT THEM!” *storms out angrily*

Me: *blinks*

Supervisor: *walks up to me* “Are you okay? What just happened?”

(I told her, and she was as shocked as I was. The real kicker? I have a SEVERE peanut allergy!)