Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Mixing With Good Company

, | Hamilton, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m training a new staff member on mixers that are common when a customer walks up.)

Customer: “Keep arguing. I’m just trying to decide what I want.”

Me: “We’re not arguing; I’m just instructing [Coworker] here on common mixers.”

Customer: “What ones are you having issue with?”

Coworker: *who has recently told me she gets very nervous when a customer approaches* “All of them, really.”

Me: “We were going over Black Russians and Vodka Lime and Sodas.”

Customer: “Right I’ll have one Black Russian and one Vodka Lime and Soda.”

(My coworker and I pause because we’re unsure if he is being serious or not.)

Customer: *in a cheerful tone* “That’s terrible service. Let’s try that again shall we?” *walks back a few paces and comes to the bar again* “I’ll have one Black Russian and one Vodka Lime and Soda.”

Coworker: “Okay, sir!” *looks at me, looking confused*

Me: *to customer* “Would you like ice with those?”

Customer: *to coworker* “You’re very good at throwing your voice. Let’s try it again. *repeats leaving and coming back and ordering drinks*

(My coworker went about pouring the drinks for him and then I talked her through how to charge them. The customer then also ordered a Stella and charged it all to his room. He then left the bar AND his two original drinks and went and sat with his friends. We ended up throwing the drinks out – turned out he just wanted to give my coworker a chance to practice. Since we charge $12 for a Black Russian and $9 for a Vodka Lime and Soda, this was no cheap drink he tossed!)

Going Off On Those Going Off The Menu

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(This pub restaurant is part of a country-wide chain and each has an identical menu. We therefore only have certain ingredients in our kitchens and never stock ingredients that aren’t on the menu. We also never have extra staff to save money on wages. I am serving a table with four adults and two children.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like the children’s fish and chips, but could I swap the peas for beans, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we don’t have beans. Only garden peas, mushy peas, mixed vegetables which includes cabbage, carrots, and broccoli, or salad.”

Customer: “Oh, well, she doesn’t like green things, so could I have sweetcorn instead?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have sweetcorn either. Does she like carrots? I could take out the cabbage and broccoli from the mixed vegetables, if that helps.”

Customer: “Hmm. Well are you sure you don’t have baked beans? Isn’t there a tin in the back somewhere that you could get?”

Me: “Very sure. As beans are not currently a menu item at [Chain Restaurant], I’m afraid we don’t stock them at all. Not even one tin.”

Customer: “Well couldn’t one of you just run out and get some? We’d wait.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m afraid we couldn’t. Even if we had enough staff for one of us to leave the restaurant, which we don’t, we have to purchase all of our stock from company suppliers.”

Customer: “Well, fine. She’ll have to have the carrots. I still think you could go out and get some beans or sweetcorn, though. It’s not that hard.”

(They all order and finish their main courses. I bring out dessert menus.)

Customer: “So, on the children’s menu I see the pudding options are chocolate brownie, ice cream, or jelly, right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Customer: “Well, could you maybe do some rice pudding for them instead? I can’t see it on the menu but maybe you could just pop out and get a tin?”

Me: *facepalm*

No Meat In Their Brain, Part 4

| Vietnam | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I and my family walk in a restaurant to see a customer yelling:)

Customer: “…chicken looked like it was made of flour.  The meat tasted like potato. It’s the lowest quality food I have had in HCM city.”

(The waitress tried to talk but he was continuously yelling. If she had been able to talk she would have been able to tell him it was a vegetarian restaurant.)

Related:
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2
No Meat In Their Brain

A Hot Slice Of Common Sense, Part 2

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the stupid customer in this one. My sister and I went to a custom sandwich shop for a late lunch, and I’m pretty tired. Note: this place offers two different little pizzas, one big and round, and the other, newer, is thinner and square.)

Employee: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “A personal pizza, please.”

Employee: “What kind?”

Me: “Uh, circular.” *holds hands to show the size and shape*

Employee: “I mean, cheese, pepperoni, you know…”

Me: “Oh! Veggie. It’s a veggie.” *I turn to my sister* “Did I really just… Oh, my god.”

Sister: “Yeah.”

(I had to keep from laughing at myself the whole rest of the order!)

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Common Sense

The Only Weight I Want To Lose Is The One Behind Me

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a customer in this story. I also am only 14, and look really young. I’m in line by myself.)

Me: *to cashier* “Hi! Can I have a kid soft serve and a small chili cheese fry?”

Woman Behind Me: “NO!”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Well, what do you want?”

Me: “…I want a kids soft serve and a small chili cheese fry.”

Woman Behind Me: “I told you, no!” *to cashier* “Make that a large ice cream, and a double chili cheese fry. Also, get her a large sundae.”

Me: “But… I don’t want that!”

Woman: “Just get it.”

(The cashier leaves to make the food, while I’m in shock.)

Woman Behind Me: “So, how old are you? 10?”

Me: “I’m 14…”

Woman: “Pshh. Already counting calories? Trying to lose weight?”

Me: “…”

(The cashier comes out, holding the sundae, large ice cream, and a double order of fries.)

Me: “I can’t pay for this…”

Woman: “Kids these days, making adults pay for everything they want. Wait here. I’ll get more money.” *she walks away*

Me: “Can I have my food now?”

Cashier: “What do you mean?”

Me: “My food, not what that lady ordered.”

Cashier: “Listen, your mom knows what you should eat. Listen to her.”

Me: “I have never met that lady before.”

Cashier: *awkward pause* “I’ll change your order…”

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