Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Well, You Can Just Go Suck On It!

| UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m providing samples for a new local sweet. A customer approaches my stall as she enters the store.)

Customer: “What are these?”

Me: “They’re chocolate covered—“

(The customer doesn’t wait for me to finish my sentence before taking a sample and spending about five minutes sucking on it. During this time she is ‘umming’ and ‘ahhing’ at the deliciousness of the sweet. She’s really selling product for me and plenty of people come up, curious to find out what’s going on. However, whenever someone tries to take a sample she turns to them and mumbles how rude they are to push ahead of her, so eventually there is a long line of people waiting for her to finish. I try to take a plate around to the other customers but she shouts at me, takes the plate, and drops it back on the stall. The line slowly disperses with disgruntled looks at the woman while I look apologetic at everyone. Eventually she speaks again.)

Customer: “Oh! The centre is different. It’s delicious! What is it?”

Me: “Well, the outside it chocolate and the inside is aniseed balls you may have had as a child.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like aniseed.”

(The customer then turns and walks away, with the aniseed ball still in her mouth. I’m a little confused, but just shake it off and get on with my work. About half an hour later I see her again, leaving with her shopping.)

Customer: “They really are delicious, by the way. Shame about the aniseed. I just can’t stand it.”

(She then left the store, still sucking on the aniseed ball.)

Not Just The Milk That Has Soured

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I’m working as a bailiff at a crown court and have the responsibility of overseeing potential jurors while on jury service. It can be a rather stressful time, and it’s not uncommon to meet people who are irritable about the whole process. This particular gentleman has been waiting to be put on a jury for the past week, and his mood has been in steady decline. This is my one and only instance with him (with the exception of the register each morning) prior to going on holiday. Breakfast is being served and I can hear an argument between the gentleman and the cashier in the canteen. This is the first time I’ve seen him anywhere near the canteen.)

Cashier: “Sir, all I’m trying to ask is which milk would you like?”

Gentleman: “And all I’m telling you is to give me some damn milk! Why can’t you understand? I want plain average ordinary MILK!”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Gentleman: “FINALLY! Can you get me someone who speaks English? This b***h doesn’t know what I’m saying.”

Me: “Please do not swear, sir. What are you needing?”

Gentleman: “MILK! Just MILK!”

(I look at the cashier and she just shrugs. I ask the gentleman to wait and I pull the cashier aside. She explains to me what to problem is and I agree to handle it. I go to the fridge and take three bottles of milk out. I then put them on the counter in front of the gentleman.)

Gentleman: “What’s this? I don’t need that much!”

Me: “Of course. I just want to be certain which of the three options you would prefer, as many people are quite specific when it comes to their milk.”

(The gentleman stares at them without responding.)

Me: “Well, sir?” *while pointing at the lid on each bottle* “Red, green, or blue?”

Gentleman: “Oh, that’s easy. Blue!”

Me: “That’s called whole milk or full fat, or you could just say blue and anyone in the UK would know exactly what you’re asking for.”

Gentleman: “Well, she should’ve known…”

(He gets his breakfast, but about five minutes later…)

Gentleman: *shouting* “THIS IS FULL FAT! I WANTED SEMI-SKIMMED!”

(He went into onto a jury that morning and I didn’t see him again as I had a half day and left for my holiday the morning after. When I got back I heard he was caught discussing the trial outside the court, which can land you with a fine and prison sentence.)

Makes You Want To Bury Your Head In The Sand

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working a sand art booth at a fair that comes to my city every year. I had the sand set up in the front of the booth so the kids could see it and fill up their jar with whatever colors they like. A little boy that looks around 8 or 9 years old approaches my booth.)

Little Boy: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Little Boy: “What flavors are each of these?”

Me: “Um… it’s sand.”

(The little boy looks at me in confusion. After a few seconds he points to the purple container of sand.)

Little Boy: “So… is the purple grape flavored?”

H2-Slowly Getting There

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a restaurant that primarily serves FRIED chicken and I’m running the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, how do you make your chicken?”

Me: “We bread and deep-fry it, sir.”

Customer: “So you mean in grease?”

Me: “Yes, sir, in grease.”

Customer: “Do you have any chicken sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes the numbers 2, 3, and 4.”

Customer: “Oh. How much for a glass of water?”

Me: “That’s free, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

(This conversation took four minutes. All he wanted was water.)

You’re A Good Egg

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Bacon and scrambled eggs, please.”

Employee:Just bacon and scrambled eggs?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s all.”

Employee:You can come back any time.”

(Which made me think that he had, in his head, told a number of customers to go to Hell this morning.)

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