Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Going Nuts Over A Berry

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a restaurant that gives complimentary chocolate strawberries and baguette roll with a combo. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, due to a shortage in Texas we do not have any strawberries.”

Customer: *visual anger rises* “What you mean you don’t have strawberries?!”

Me: “Strawberries are out of season in Texas where we order produce from, so we do not have any in the store. Actually all of the [Restaurant]s in Arizona do not have strawberries. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I AM APPALLED! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! I want a discount on my entire meal!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately I can’t do that because we do not charge you for the bread or strawberries. They come complimentary with the meal.”

Customer: “Where the h*** does it say that?!” *she grabs a menu* “Show me!”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points to and reads the exact line that says “Combo comes complimentary with a chocolate dipped strawberry and baguette roll.”*

Customer: “Well, then I want a free slice of cheesecake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. I unfortunately can’t do that. Again, I’m sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.”

Customer: “I’m calling MY attorney general and you will see me in court for false advertising! Nowhere does it say that it comes with the meal!”

Me: “Would you like me to read the menu to you, ma’am?”

Customer: “NO! YOU’LL SEE ME IN COURT!”

Me: *with a big smile* “Okay, ma’am! Have a nice night!”

Customer: *looks at me and yells* “OKAY!” *smugly walks away*

Me: *turns to the next customer* “Unfortunately we are out of dipped strawberries at the moment. Is that okay, ma’am?”

Next Customer: “Of course it’s okay! It’s only a strawberry!”

Timing Is All In The Delivery

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular, Time

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

Me: “No problem. Just to let you know, our delivery time right now is approximately one-and-a-half hours tonight. Will that be all right?”

Customer: “Jesus! Why so long?”

Me: “Well, I’m the only one running the store at this time, and I’ve only got one driver. We’re rather busy so it’s creating higher delivery times. I do apologize for the wait, sir.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, I guess I’ll do that.”

(The customer orders and approximately 45 minutes later, calls back.)

Customer: “WHERE THE F*** IS MY FOOD?! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR AND I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE ONLY 30 MINUTES!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry for the wait; however, it’s been only 45 minutes and your quoted delivery time was an hour and a half. We will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS QUOTED. ARE YOU TELLING ME I’M LYING?!”

Me: “Sir, I’m the only one here, which means that I took your order. And I told you the estimated delivery time. I apologize for the miscommunication; however, we will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “What in God’s name is taking so long?”

Me: “…I AM THE ONLY ONE HERE.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager. This is piss-poor service.”

Me: “I am the manager. I am the only person here.”

Customer: “Well, how much longer?”

Me: “The delivery time will rise as you continue to stay on the phone with me. As I cannot prepare pizzas while I am stuck on the phone.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Would Have Been Ice To Know

| USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(My coworker just finished making a drink for this woman who had been watching her intently the whole time and is handing it to the customer at the end of the bar.)

Coworker: “Here is your drink!”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted that iced.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, just so you know, that is important to say when you order your drink.”

Repeating Their Missed Steak

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have a one-pound prime rib roast?”

Me: “…That would be a rib steak.”

Customer: “No, I want it to be a roast.”

Me: “…It isn’t.”

Taconfusing

| Parker, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My mom and I are going through the drive through and we gave our usual order. My mom decides she wants a little more.)

Mom: *into the speaker* “I’d also like to add a crunchy soft taco, beef with no sour cream.”

Worker: “Ok, that’ll be… Wait, what type of beef taco did you want?”

Mom: *totally oblivious to the fact that she is contradicting herself* “CRUNCHY SOFT TACO, PLEASE!”

Worker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it isn’t possible for a taco to be crunchy and soft.”

Mom: “Oh, whoops! Well… forget it, then.”