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Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Any Given Sundae

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working drive-thru at a well known fast food place.)

Customer: “I’d like one large chocolate sundae, and one large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. It doesn’t matter which one.”

Me: “So two large sundaes wi—”

Customer: “No, you’re not listening to me. One large chocolate sundae. One large sundae with chocolate or caramel on the bottom and chocolate or caramel on the top with extra chocolate or caramel. Either one.”

Me: “Okay. So in total you have tw—”

Customer: “NO, YOU AREN’T LISTENING. ONE LARGE CHOC—”

Manager: *signalling to me that the customer wants just one*

Me: “So you want one large sundae with chocolate on the bottom and caramel on the top with extra sauce?”

Customer: “YES. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They Are Streets Ahead Of Your Scam

| LA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(This is back when pizza shops had a “30 minutes or less” delivery guarantee. An order comes in for a pizza and a drink to be delivered to East 4th Street. I get to the address in plenty of time and it’s the wrong house.)

Me: *calling the office* “Can I just verify the address?”

Office: “Yeah, it’s East 4th Street.”

Me: “That’s where I went and it was the wrong house. Can you call the customer to verify the address?”

(The customer verifies that the address is East 4th Street. I knock on a few doors to no avail, give up and drive back to the office. I check the map and find an East 4th LANE. On a hunch, I head over there. Sure enough, it’s the customer.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: *arguing* “No way! You’re late and I want the order for free.”

Me: “Afraid not, as it’s your fault for repeatedly giving us the wrong address.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Want to come inside and ‘talk about it?!’”

Me: “I don’t think so. Are you going to pay me or not?”

(He refused. I flipped open the pizza box, grabbed a slice, and started eating it in front of him, turned and got in my car and head back to the office! When I got there, I told the boss what I did and he told me that I will have to pay for that order. It cost me $1.00 and that was the last I heard about it.)

Vis A Visa

| Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am the tired and barely attentive customer in this story.)

Employee: “How can I help you today?”

(I proceed to order my coffee.)

Employee: “And what name should I put on the cup?”

Me: “Oh. Uh, Visa.”

(The employee dutifully writes Visa on the cup without another question.)

Employee: “And how will you be paying today?”

Me: “Oh… Yeah… Visa.”

(Apparently I needed that coffee more badly than I realized.)