Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

I Spit On Your Service

| Victoria, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I take an order for a couple for two burgers to go and after receiving their order they leave. I go in the back to make my food for a break and hear over the speaker:)

Customer: *in drive-thru* “We just ordered two burgers and they are cold and dry.”

Drive-Thru Operator: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’ll fix that for you.”

(The drive-thru operator and cook make sure to add lots of sauce and heat the burger in the microwave. I’m now seated near the door on my break. The customer storms into the store and throws the bag onto the counter.)

Customer: “We were hungry; do you know what that’s like? You should have just spit in it. That’s what we did when I worked at [Different National Chain]!” *storms out*

Me: *to manager also on break* “Do we get in trouble for being told we should have spit in someone’s food?”

Manager: “…I don’t think so.”

Me: “Remind me not to eat at [Different National Chain].”

Manager: “Probably a good idea.”

Diapathetic

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Time

(I’m the head hostess on staff at an up-scale restaurant on a very busy Friday night. It’s not long before the restaurant is packed with customers waiting for tables. The hostesses are located at a desk directly in front of the front doors where patrons check in and get a pager, which is customary for any restaurant with high wait times. An angry female customer approaches our desk in the middle of the dinner rush. There is a long line of people waiting to check in.)

Customer: “How much longer is it going to be?! We’ve been waiting forty-five minutes!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. May I have your name or pager number so I can check where you are on the list?”

Customer: “What pager number? I never gave you my name and we never got a pager!”

Coworker: *recognizing customer* “Oh… uh…”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding, ma’am. Did you check in with the girls here when you arrived?”

Customer: “Well, yeah! I asked if tables were available and they said there was a wait! Nobody told me I had to give my name! My children are starving!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. I would have gotten your information, but you walked away when I informed you of our hour-long wait—”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous. We’ve been standing right over there watching you for the past hour! My son is diabetic!”

Me: “Again, I apologize for the miscommunication. Perhaps if you have a small snack for your son to tide him over, we can get you in as soon as possible.”

Customer: “What?! I don’t just carry food around with me! Can’t you bring him something from the kitchen?!”

(We got them in at the next available table, if only to make her go away!)

Very Family Unfriendly

, | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant that is comprised of a dining room on one side and a lounge/bar on the other. Children, for obvious reasons, are not permitted on the bar side. On this evening we are packed, which is not unusual for a Friday night. A female customer approaches me at the front desk.)

Customer: “How long is the wait for the dining room?”

Me: “Good evening. Right now we are looking at a forty-five minute wait for the dining room. Would you like me to put your name down?”

Customer: “Forty-five minutes! That’s pretty s***ty! What about the bar?”

Me: “The bar does have availability. Is everyone in your party over eighteen?”

Customer: “No, I have two little kids that are d*** near starving!”

Me: “I apologize, but minors are not permitted in the bar side.”

Customer: *shouts* “Oh, you just hate children, then!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(The family left, the mother swearing and cursing our “children hating” policies.)

Venting Tall

| Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’ve gotten up early to get my mom and me coffee one morning. I’m not a morning person by any means.)

Me: “Can I get a tall white mocha?”

Barista: “Sure, anything else?”

Me: “A tall, venti nonfat cappuccino please.”

Barista: “A what?”

Me: “A tall, venti nonfat cappuccino, please.”

Barista: “Honey, you’re making up drinks now. Would you like a tall or venti?”

Me: *suddenly hitting me what I’ve been saying* “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry. I meant venti.”

Barista: “I give everyone a break this early.”

(Luckily she had been our barista for about six years and knew I was actually smart.)

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