Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 26

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work at a frozen custard and coffee shop. To draw in customers we also offer free wifi.)

Customer: “I’ll get a mocha custard with extra chocolate. And what is a ‘wehfeh?'”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, um, a weefee?” *she points to the sign*

Me: “Oh! Wifi!”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, yes, sure. This says I can get it free?”

Me: “Yep.”

(There’s a long pause while the woman stares at me.)

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “What is it? Okay, is it a smoothie or custard or drink?”

(I’m a little at a loss for words so it takes me a minute to compose my answer.)

Me: “Oh, it’s, you know, it’s Internet. Like wireless Internet?” *the woman starts frowning at me* “For using your laptop or phone in the store.”

Customer: “I want my custard to go.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23

Trying To Make Cents Of His Math

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work as a pizza delivery man and have just knocked on the customer’s door.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Good evening! Your total will be $25.90.”

(I exchange the pizzas for two $20s.)

Customer: “Just give me $15 back.”

(Thinking he was going to use the ones or a five as a tip I hand him the $15 he requested back only to have the door closing on my face.)

Me: “Excuse me, you still owe $0.90!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you gave me $40 on a $25.90 order and asked for $15 back. I assumed you had change to give me since you would still owe the $0.90.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry, here take a dollar and keep the change.”

Me: *completely fake smile on my face* “Thanks. Have a great evening.”

This Conversation Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(My family is eating at a large restaurant. My dad is talking to my mom about an unrelated school activity that he didn’t know has fees involved. As this happens, the waitress comes with the bill.)

Dad: “I didn’t know we had to pay for it!”

Waitress: “Umm…”

Dad: “Oh, sorry, not that. I was talking about [school related activity].”

Waitress: “Thanks! You’d be surprised how many people don’t think they have to pay.”

I Want The Most Crappy Cake You Have

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(A customer is looking to buy a five-inch round cake for a birthday party, but after discussing how many people will be there, decides to get a half sheet instead. The bakery uses marzipan to make novelty and adult sculptures to put atop cakes. This particular half sheet has a stylized sculpture of a pile of poop on top of it, which he thought would get more laughs than our other selection.)

Customer: “Oh, thank you. I hadn’t really thought about how many guests there would be, but I’m sure everyone will get a kick out of this one!”

Me: “Glad to hear it! Now, that size of cake can be a bit heavy. Would you like help out to your car?”

Customer: “No worries. I have it!”

(He starts sliding the cake box off the counter.)

Customer: “Just gotta get my ke—”

(His supporting hand moves out from under the cake to his pocket and he pushes the entire cake off the counter, it somehow staying in its box.)

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “Well… s***.”

(We ended up just slapping some extra icing on top and writing “for s***s and giggles” on it, as if that was the plan all along.)

This One Definitely Needs Decaf, Part 2

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Customer: “Now I’m going to ASSUME you follow the corporate policy and you have to do a pour over for decaf?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I’m happy to do one for you if you’ve got a minute!”

Customer: “I don’t HAVE a minute.”

Me: “Okay… well, I could do a decaf Americano for the same price instead!”

Customer: “Well, I COULD throw you out the window and see if you can fly but that wouldn’t be what you WANT, now would it?!”

Related:
This One Definitely Needs Decaf

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